Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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The Creeps: unique, to say the least. Review forthcoming

Night of the Living Deb: the script was a little over the top but the lead sells it. She's fucking hilarious. Pretty decent movie.

Features: 37

Shorts: 21

Documentaries: 4

Rewatches: 0

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Beauty and the Beast 2017: There's a reason they credit the original animated film's screen writer in this. Except for a few twists and some new footage and a few changes/extra characters, this is pretty much a scene for scene remake of the original. It's fucking gorgeous (except for the weird faces on the animate objects), though. One major issue - with the exception of Josh Gad, none of the mains, and even some of the cast, can't sing. And when two thirds of your film is a musical, welp. (Group songs are slowed down significantly and have random pauses inserted (possibly for breathing?), which trips up the flow of the musical bits.) Put it this way - I'm really glad that my mom paid for me and my sister to see this in 3D, and that it wasn't my own money. (And yes, Gad is flamboyant and dances with a dude for two entire seconds. Le gasp.)

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Twin Peaks - Fire Walk With Me: (Non-Spoilery Thoughts) HOLY GOD.

If Twin Peaks is akin to Neon Genesis Evangelion in its weirdness, than Fire Walk With Me is easily it's End of EVA equivalent. I loved this. It's the darkest content of the entire show, and I didn't know going in that it was a theatrically released "R" rated film. The violence, drug use, sex and swearing took me completely off guard, but the morbid tone really works. There was barely any of the stupid unfunny humor that dragged down the series. Apparently, like End of EVA, most people hated this when it first came out and still do, but I really thought this was something. It's my favorite thing related to Twin Peaks before going into the third season. I can't wait for Ian and Dave to review this, even if they loathe it XD

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Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers: Thoughts on all three in a future Earth-2.net The Show but, in a few words on each respectively, Cheesy and dated as fuck but still kinda alright, Holy Crap Balls not good but it has one or two moments, and Much better than I was expecting and I might end up going to see it again sometime.

Films: 43
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Zoolander No. 2

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Power Rangers: God help me, I thoroughly enjoyed this.

I can't think of a single, genuine flaw. Goldar and the Megazord (and some of the Dinozords) don't look as good as the originals, and I would've liked to see more classic elements like Bulk and Skull, but that's...it? I went into this with basically no expectations and got a movie with a script that woke up one day, deciding to give more of a shit that it could possibly have been commissioned to. I think what makes this enjoyable are all the ways this movie addresses major things missing in the original series, I.E. how do the Rangers become friends so fast? How do they know how to use their powers so fast? How do they all know how to fight with their powers? What are their individual personalities? Because as fun and nostalgic as the original MMPR are, anyone with access to YouTube and a curious mind or good memory knows that the show's characters were bland as hell. They were all as memorable as the actors who portrayed them, which isn't dogging on the actors because I love the originals. But this movie really has you liking all five main characters. I was so surprised no one was a douchebag or needlessly angsty or a completely wrong approach for the character. And they're pretty different. Except for Jason being the leader and Billy being a science whiz-kid, there's no real connective tissue between these versions and the team from the 90s. But they're all still likeable, sympathetic characters. Liz Banks as Rita was wonderfully campy, in a good way that didn't ruin any scenes. Cranston's Zordon had presence. The action scenes before everything gets all CGI were great. I'm stunned and impressed by how well this came off.

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Power Rangers: I think we watched different movies.  Short version, I was whelmed.  Pretty much as I expected going in, an okay movie that only got made because it says Power Rangers on the poster.  Unlike the new TMNT movies, this just wasn't fun enough for my liking.  Longer spoiler-y version:

- To start, I hate the look.  Have from the start.  Don't like the armor, don't like the zords, HATE Megazord, don't like Alpha.  Golddar was cool lookin'.

- Rita was wasted.  The scene with Trini was her only real great moment.  Maybe when she kicked their non-morphed collective asses.  But that is it.  Otherwise she is just said to be a massive threat, never shown to be one.

- All the nods to the show were so bad and unnatural.

- So much of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man in the beginning.

- I was worried the second Billy said he was on the spectrum.  But I think they handled it really well and it was never played for laughs.  So, good job.

- Took them like all the entire movie to morph and they fight for what, two minutes before Zords?  So lame.

- I did laugh when Billy quoted Die Hard.

 Oh, and as for the Rangers themselves:

I disagree that you end up liking all of them.  As with any team movie where you have to introduce all the chacters at once, somebody is going to get left out.  That would be Trini/Zack/Kimberly.  It was the Billy & Jason show for most of the movie.  Kimberly got more than the other two, but not by much.  Yeah, these are more 'Teeangers with Attitudes' than the TV show ever got, but that wouldn't be very hard.

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Power Rangers: My roommate wanted to see it and it was that or drinking last night. I chose wisely.

Rise of the Guardians: It's a shame that we have as many Shrek movies as we do but Dreamworks has only made one of these.

Films: 44
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
Repeats: 1
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Zoolander No. 2

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Way of the Dragon: Bruce Lee kicking ass. All you need to know.

Demon Knight: Billy Zane makes this movie

Judge Dredd: This was actually more entertaining than I remembered. It's cheesy and big budget-y, but Stallone sells the one-liners as only he can. Joan Chen is wasted in the movie. Armand Assante is brilliant. Rob Schnieder ruins what could've been a fun cheesy flick. He's fucking insufferable.

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