Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice


JackFetch

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Judge: Your closing remarks, Mr. Superman?

Superman: I'm bringing hope to this world! It's what the symbol on my costume stands for!

Batman: "HOPE" STARTS WITH AN "H", STUPID.

Judge: Mr. Batman, sit down or I'll find you in contempt!

Batman: Contempt is reserved for this kind of scum, who destroys buildings without even--

Judge: Bailiff, remove the plaintiff from the courtroom!

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Also, this is apparently something that happened at Warner Brothers at some point:

"Why don't we call it... Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice"?

"I LOVE IT! Get that up on a marquee right away!"

"Be careful, sir, you almost walked out the window again."

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Honestly, with an older Batman, there's a good story in him taking the rookie Superman to task for how he handled Zod. Including the whole killing him thing.

"I've been fighting psychopaths for a decade, men who make your Kryptonian general look like a pacifist. And I have never sunk to their level. We do not, can not kill. It's what separates us from them. We believe enough in our ideals not to take a life." -drops mic and also a smokebomb-

Y'know since Jonathan Kent was such fucking moron in this continuity, someone has to teach Superman values.

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So Jor'El abandons Supes to a backwater planet to be raised by a farmer, Pa Kent abandons his son to save a dog. Maybe the Dog is supposed to be his mentor? That is until it commits seppuku and lets an especially intelligent earthworm take over the role.

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  • 2 months later...

This is not directed at any one person, but rather the Internet as a whole:

Yes, this movie might be a trainwreck of the highest order, but can we all pause for one moment to reflect upon the fact that we are finally getting to see Superman and Batman in the same big-budget, live action movie. I'm filled with childlike glee at that very idea. Add Wonder Woman and the others to the mix, and this could be the biggest clusterfuck of all time but I'll still love it because HOLY SHIT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE~!

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I largely agree with that sentiment, and I spent a good several months after the announcement last year saying the same thing. The only thing that gives me pause is the fact that over the year since Man of Steel's release, every time I've looked back at it, I've recognized it less and less as a Superman story. I mean, when it's grimmer than every Batman movie short of The Dark Knight itself, is it really Superman anymore? So now I wonder if the new movie Justice League is going to actually feel like the Justice League, or if it'll be shoved through the desaturated dark/gritty filter so much that the end product is joyless. A joyless Justice League isn't just missing the point; it's pretty much not even the Justice League at all anymore.

So I'm still looking forward to seeing more, I'm just a little worried is all.

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Then why say this is a Superman sequel? Just say it's a Batman/Superman movie, or a Justice League prequel. That's like saying Avengers was a sequel to Captain America. They follow the same timeline but are separate movies. Don't call it one thing and market it as something else.

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