Every Film You've Watched in 2015


dc20willsave

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Watchmen - First time I have watched this since the midnight release. I think it has some nice pieces, but it doesn't add up to a completely satisfying whole. And I forgot how long this was. So long.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - I have no idea what to make of this. I watch it and I do not like it. I forget about it for six months. I think about it and remember it being enjoyable. Then I watch it and I do not like it. Rinse. Repeat.

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The Town: Pretty entertaining heist film starring Ben Affleck before Argo and Jeremy Renner before The Avengers. Based on the novel of the same name, The Town is a very Boston film. It does really help that a lot of it was actually shot in and around Boston. All in all, it was a very good film, and Ben Affleck is a really great actor.

Films watched, 11

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Gatchaman: A live-action version of the 1970s anime. The first fifteen minutes of this are batshit fucking insane, and so incredibly faithful to the anime that I was blown away. After that, there's an hour of soap operatics, followed by a climax ripped straight out of the cartoon again. Not by any stretch of the imagination a good movie, but I had a very good time with it.

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Paddington: This movie was a fucking blast. I've seen some miserable kids movies. This is great. It's basically Tarzan with a bear. The effects are great, like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes level. It's funnier than it has any right to be and Kidman is gloriously scene-chewing as the villainess.

Feature Films: 17

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Batman Year One: This was pretty good. Diverted from the source text where it needed to to keep it exciting in an animated film for a younger audience. It adapted the parts of the comic well that it attempted. Cast was great. Cranston was a great Gordon, if not a little too young. Ironically, young Gordon from Gotham is the voice of Batman. I enjoyed this more than any of the recent New 52 films. 64 Minutes! If they can adapt Year One in barely more than an hour, I don't see why TDKR needed two movies....anyway. That's probably next.

Watchmen - First time I have watched this since the midnight release. I think it has some nice pieces, but it doesn't add up to a completely satisfying whole. And I forgot how long this was. So long.

I'm not crazy about either of those films for the same reason: I've read the source material multiple times and each adaptation is faithful to the point of being slavish and having no voice of its own (Ozymandias' revised plan notwithstanding).

Bernie: The perfect cure for a bad mood. Will say in feedback to HAA!

Boyhood: The only Oscar nominee for this year I've seen thus far. It's long but (almost) never drags, has some of the best child acting performances I've ever seen, and Ethan Hawke's the man. My one major gripe is that the big sister doesn't look like her parents or brother at all and has little to no development--being just as bitchy as a child as she is as young adult.

Sirens: Enjoyable but light on plot and depth. Could have used a few more theological arguments between Sam Neill and Hugh Grant. A few good bits, though.

Mainly Elle Macpherson's. Or, if you're not interested in those, Mark Gerber's.

Film Count: 8

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Secretary: Maggie Gyllenhaal is a terrific actress. Like one of the best. I haven't watched this since around when it first came out. Wanted to rewatch it in light of... other projects... and it's pretty damn good still. It is hilarious nowadays to have an office that still uses typewriters but ehh, whatever, minor point.

Feature Films: 14

Direct to DVD: 1

Made-For-TV: 2

Repeats: 1

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Friday the 13th (1980): It's sort of a tradition that I have that, come every Friday the 13th, I sit down and watch the original version. While, yes, it has set up a lot of stock cliches and tropes of the slasher genre, it's still a pretty entertaining flick. I may be more of a Freddy fan, but this movie does have a special place in my heart.

Films watched: 13

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The Stepford Wives (2004): Okay then, Imagine if they remade The Exorcist as a comedy. Regan just pulls pranks and the demon possessing her just wanted to be friends. Both the priests live and they all have a good laugh at the end with Regan and Pazuzu even dancing together to, I dunno, Dinah Shore. Even if you haven't seen it, you can see what I'm getting at here.

And it's more than just it being a remake that barely feels like the original. No one involved in the film will list it on their resume because even they noticed how bad it was. There were some huge edits and changes late in production that led to giant plot holes (The test audience didn't react well to the husbands turning the wives into robots, the central basis of the plot. So now, microchips. Doesn't explain how one can dispense money from her mouth). It's just a very unfortunate film. It's a bad comedy that's bad for more reasons than it just being not very funny. It also finds the ability to be both misogynistic and misandrist at the same time. There are parts that get a chuckle but, overall, it's just not very good.
That all said, Bette Midler is awesome in every scene she's in and it does have some good lines here and there.

101 Dalmatians (1996): Glenn Close as Cruella DeVil is the reason to watch this movie. It's an over-the-top, campy performance but great all the same. The rest of the film falls into Home Alone hijinks with multiple acts of violence that should have killed the villains and, instead, just minorly annoyed it.

Also, there's a scene with a little boy playtesting a game who says something to the effect that a game is so bad a girl wouldn't play it. I really wanted to punt that kid.

Feature Films: 16

Direct to DVD: 1

Made-For-TV: 2

Repeats: 1

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For some bizarre reason, the only thing I can remember about the movie is Knightly standing profile, one arm raised in the air and calling her people into battle, or something. Maybe it was the camera angle, but she was completely flat-chested.

Wearing a few leather belts didn't really help either.

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