Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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     Superman IV

 

-Well, it's not as bad as Batman v. Superman. I can't decide if it's better or worse than Batman & Robin, though; this film cheap and awful with some good performances, while that film was expensive and awful and had no good performances in it at all.

Alright, this is getting ridiculous...Comic Reel-lief can't come back quick enough.

Although I'm crazy-busy next week.

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Goosebumps: Long story short: I was the kid that, when these books were popular, decided to read Tolkein instead. That said, this movie was seriously fun. It was interesting to, instead of adapting a single one of the books, that they decided to use them all as a single narrative.  Jack Black was seriously awesome here as both R.L. Stine and the voice of Slappy The Dummy. If they make a sequel, I will probably check it out.

As a side note, probably a good thing that just the Goosebumps monsters got set loose. If they'd started releasing Fear Street shit, it would have been serial killers and ancient evils possessing cheerleaders.

Deathgasm: Speaking of fun, it's heavy metal meets The Evil Dead. What's not to love?

Films: 16
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: The Incredibles

Worst Film So Far: Ocean's 12 (but just barely)

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Superman IV

-Well, it's not as bad as Batman v. Superman. I can't decide if it's better or worse than Batman & Robin, though; this film cheap and awful with some good performances, while that film was expensive and awful and had no good performances in it at all.

Ha! Look out! Your objectively bad taste is showing. 

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Superman IV

-Well, it's not as bad as Batman v. Superman. I can't decide if it's better or worse than Batman & Robin, though; this film cheap and awful with some good performances, while that film was expensive and awful and had no good performances in it at all.

Ha! Look out! Your objectively bad taste is showing. 

That's a nice glass house you got there. Pity if something were to happen to it...

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Superman IV

-Well, it's not as bad as Batman v. Superman. I can't decide if it's better or worse than Batman & Robin, though; this film cheap and awful with some good performances, while that film was expensive and awful and had no good performances in it at all.

Ha! Look out! Your objectively bad taste is showing. 

That's a nice glass house you got there. Pity if something were to happen to it...

It's cool. It's plexi-glass actually.

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Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief and Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters: Both of these had missed me back when they came out. I used to be a big fan of Greek Mythology. If these movies and books had some out when I was a kid, I probably would have loved them. As is, I could barely be bothered to care.

The Emperor's New Groove: One of the my favorite Disney films. If that making of documentary is ever allowed to be released, I would be more than a little interested in watching it.

Captain America: The First Avenger: One of my favorite Marvel films. It has some good action, great moments, and Nazis getting punched. Nothing more American than that.

Zoolander No. 2: There's never been a more appropriate surname for a movie. The first film was surprisingly good and this? This, like I already said, is shit. A movie where the death of Justin Beiber is a central plot element and has Neil Degrasse Tyson cameoing is shit. I don't think I even smiled once.

Films: 21
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: The Emperor's New Groove

Worst Film So Far: Zoolander No. 2

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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: This was a very solid urban fantasy film set in 20s New York. I really enjoyed it. Better, by far, than the harry Potter films. I'd love to see more like this.

Postpartum: short for the festival

Features: 17

Shorts: 7

Documentaries: 2

Rewatches: 0

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John Wick: Awesome.

What's great about the film is that, more so than Taken, it's a movie about a badass that truly builds up to the moment when he first cuts loose. For the first 20-30 minutes there's so much legend about the character that it's legitimately funny, and not in an ironic, silly way that makes fun of the genre. Keanu Reeves sells the character as a guy who's profoundly human, capable of clean, succinct, almost neat violence. I'm also a sucker for fight scenes in nightclubs. Bring on Chapter 2.

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The Princess Bride: One of my favorites. Funny, romantic, intelligent. I'm not going to call it a perfect movie but there's not a part of it that I don't enjoy.

Films: 21
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: The Princess Bride

Worst Film So Far: Zoolander No. 2

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Finding Dory: Cute. I wouldn't say it's as good as the original but it's still far from bad or even mediocre. Ellen DeGeneres just does such a good job here.

Groundhog Day: Like Cole said above me, because I had to.

Films: 23
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Groundhog Day

Worst Film So Far: Zoolander No. 2

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