Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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Superman Doomsday: I loved the Kevin Smith cameo. I was a bit confused as to whether Lois knew that Superman was Clark, it seems to go back and forth. When Lex murdered Mercy I am now convinced that Warner Brothers has some weird contractual obligation where she has to die in every film. I can picture it now.

Some guy with too much power: This Mercy woman must be killed by Lex.

the board: Does she really need to be killed?

SGWTMP: Yes, how else will the viewers know that Lex is merciless?

(loud collective groan from everyone in the room, including the person refilling the coffee)

SGWTMP: good! I am glad we all can agree.

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The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring: It was mostly as a mid-afternoon thing. Still good. If I have a few hours to kill, always good times.

Ghost in the Shell (1995): A hallmark of the Cyberpunk genre and for a reason. I love it  Visually appealing and a good story at that. It asks just the right questions and asks the audience to answer them.

Ghost in the Shell (2017): It's a bad movie for many reasons but, for more than any reason, because I was bored. I at least wanted something that was pretty to look at. It is just trying so desperately to work as a film that it never stops to be interesting. But yeah, I was just bored.

Films: 47
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
Repeats: 1
Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Zoolander No. 2

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Ghost in the Shell (2017): There's a review coming up soon where Harry and I really get into it, but for now I'll just say that I appreciate director Rupert Sanders blatant appreciation for the series. I've never seen such shot-for-shot recreations of an anime. Unfortunately the script fails the source material in numerous ways that can be listed in a 90 minute rant-off.

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The Flintstones: this is a weird thing. It is not a good movie. It's awful. However, there's nothing really wrong with it. The script is essentially a feature-length version of the TV show. The jokes are the exact same jokes as the TV show. The costumes and set design are fucking brilliant. The practical effects are awesome. The CGI is about 30% good which is pretty good for a mid-level blockbuster of the day. It also happens to be perhaps one of the greatest examples of casting in film history. It's just fucking corny. Nothing much else to it other than an exercise in homage. It's the perfect example of why adaptation needs adaption, as opposed to note-for-note copying. Elizabeth Perkins as Wilma though? Day-um!

Easter Sunday: review forthcoming, but c'mon!

Features: 41

Shorts: 21

Documentaries: 4

Rewatches: 0

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PCU: Starring Jeremy Piven and David Spade.

Never heard of this movie before. A college is overwrought by PC activist groups (radical feminists, pro-black, pro-gay, vegetarian, etc.), and it's up to hip dude Jeremy Piven, his trusty sidekick Jon Faverau and pals to bring back coolness and fun to the university, ending in everyone rallying with protest signs and a motto "NO PROTEST".

The movie is basically School of Hard Knockers. Co-written by Zak Penn of the Avengers, I get and almost appreciate the message but for the most part it's too smug. All the groups are caricatured and there's barely a sense of awareness in how the protagonists are just as stereotypical and cloyingly cliche'd as everyone else. It's not awful. David Spade leads a group of college Republicans and is the funniest character in the movie. It's just a bit too smug. Classic "Do-your-laundry" type of movie.

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Teen Titans: The Judas Contract:

I can't put into words how happy this movie made me. It's a near-perfect adaptation. Part of it goes its own way but for the most part this is the Wolfman/Perez classic to a T, only changing the non-essential elements. But the writer obvious re/re-read the story before beginning the screenplay. There are exact lines of dialogue from the Tales of the Teen Titans issues peppered through this, and although it's part of the Damian movies, he's not the main character. As the source material dictates, we see great presentations of Nightwing, who is a detective and gracious leader, even when he's not leading the team. Starfire, Raven and Beast Boy are all perfect, and we get more Blue Beetle. Miguel Ferrer (RIP) does a terrific final performance as Deathstroke, and as the film wraps up he has some fantastic lines. As for Terra herself, she's generally the Terra from the comics, albeit still more conflicted. She's still not as maniacally ruthless as she was in the 80s, but her dynamic with Gar, Slade and her enraged mania at the end are all on point. I thought that the nudged to her character worked well for the film, whereas in the 2003 cartoon she was completely neutered, and the biggest disappointment from that entire series. Easily the truest adaptation since Batman: Under the Hood in that whatever changes made to the story worked to pluss it, not detract like in Dark Knight Returns. Highly recommended. 

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Mulholland Drive: Yeah, umm...what?

This was an interesting watch to be sure, but it's classic David Lynch. No real narrative sense whatsoever. All the theories about it being Diane's dream for the first half are way too easy IMO. IDK what the hell it was all about, but it sure was fun to watch. 

 
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Kubo and The Two Strings: Damn. This has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes and deserves all of it. It's beautifully animated, sweet and isn't afraid to hit you where it hurts. Great film that doesn't underestimate the kids it's made for. 

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Man, I've been doing a terrible job of keeping track. I think I may have missed a movie or two, but whatever:

Bethany/In the Mouth of Madness: reviews forthcoming

Features: 43

Shorts: 21

Documentaries: 4

Rewatches: 0

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Play It to the Bone - I have no idea why/how/why this popped into my head last week while at work.  None.  It doesn't make sense.  I remember watching the VHS once when I was like 14 and thinking it was okay.  Guess what?  That was incorrect. It is quite bad.  And long.  And bad.  The highlight was seeing an unexcited Bruce Buffer for ten seconds.  And I still have no earthly idea why I randomly remembered this movie.  That is starting to annoy.

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The Fate of the Furious: I have not seen one of these films since Tokyo Drift. As such, at least a third of this was probably lost on me. That said? Big, dumb, macho man fun, and some absolutely nuts stunts. Great cameos, too. 

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