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Every Film You've Watched in 2017

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Goldeneye: I mean I own this, but it's been a few years since I've seen it. I love the direction in this movie. Sequential shots like Xenia Onatopp getting off to shooting people followed by Natalya freaking out in a similar fashion. Trevelean at the end yelling cutting straight to Boris screaming his head off straight at the camera. They don't make movies like that anymore. And Brosnan's probably my favorite Bond. He retains Dalton's cold manner when he needs to but brings back some of Moore's cheeky charm. But I never don't buy him as 007. 

I'll also add that although there have been Bond films before and after that reflect meta-textually on the franchise, Goldeneye is the most overt and the most challenging. M, Valentin and especially 006 all mock Bond and his classic ways throughout the movie, and there's a concerted attempt to humanize him through the third act's climax of having him confront Trevelean. It's the kind of script I really like in a long running franchise. 

Edited by Donomark

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Kubo and the Two Strings: Laika doing one of their most beautiful films yet, and one of their better written original ones too. Definitely worth a watch if you find it. (They could've used some Japanese-American actors in more than bit roles, tbh, but this can't be perfect.) plus, gorgeous cover of While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

Ahem

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The Cable Guy: my sons wanted to watch Ace Ventura again last night so I suggested a Carrey film they hadn't seen. I get why D&D had a sequel made, but I think this would be more appropriate for a 20 year later sequel. The Cable Guy gets out of the looney bin and tries to rekindle his friendship. Boom. Done. This is an underrated classic of the black comedy genre. Under Carrey's hilarity is a real sense of sadness and menace. It may be his best performance. Kids loved it too. The themes put it on a higher level than most comedies, making this a pretty solid companion piece to Fight Club.

Features: 47

Shorts: 21

Documentaries: 4

Rewatches: 0

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The Fate of the Furious: Fun as ever. The series has been on a roll since the 6th one (reportedly the 5th one but I've yet to see it). What works against it is A) being 2 hrs and 40 minutes. The terrific action can only hold your attention for so long. B) There's a very dark scene that's out of step with the tone of the general franchise, which is akin to Die Another Die. It's ugly, misogynist and sours the film. Despite those problems this was another solid time at the movies with some wonderfully nutty car sequences. And the chemistry between the Rock and Jason Statham was downright erotic.

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The Fate of the Furious:  What works against it is A) being 2 hrs and 40 minutes.

What the hell? What version did you see?! I agree it was too long but my showing ran about 2hr and 10min.

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Society: sad how fucking relevant this film still is. Review forthcoming.

Features: 48

Shorts: 21

Documentaries: 4

Rewatches: 0

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I've been debating whether I wanted to include MST3K episodes in here or not. I mean, I am watching a full movie and I don't have to do as much catch-up as oddly enough. Haven't watched as much lately.

Manos: The Hands of Fate, Space Mutiny: Just two of my favorite episodes. Having them on Netflix helped a lot.

Reptilicus: It was the first episode of the new MST3k series and it holds up. More detailed thoughts at a later time.

An American Tail: Literally, I just decided to throw something on the TV. It is a fun movie and one of Don Bluth's best.

Cruel Intentions 2: Jesus fuck, I forgot how disjointed as hell this entire movie is. It's weird because they'll have an amusing scene and then bam, nope, we're back to bad acting and writing land with random T&A thrown in.

The Dragon Warrior: I think I'll post my thoughts on this one over in the Tranquil Tirades suggestion page.

Fun in Balloon Land: Yup. This is a thing.

Hercules: Not the Disney one, this weird CD-I Zelda looking piece of shit. Holy shit.

Films: 53
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 3
Repeats
: 1

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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Your Name: Fuck you Makoto Shinkai for making me bawl multiple times in public. It's a body switch story, but the twist is so deftly and wondefully done. 

Edited by Venneh

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Faust-Love of the Damned: O_O

This is a classically, professionally awful movie. The script is dopey. The acting is 9 times out of 10 lame, and the tone is practically invisible. It goes from being campy to dark to over the top to really brutal.

But man is it fun to watch. I had a blast. This is one movie I had no idea what would happen next, from beginning to end.

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Faust-Love of the Damned: O_O

This is a classically, professionally awful movie. The script is dopey. The acting is 9 times out of 10 lame, and the tone is practically invisible. It goes from being campy to dark to over the top to really brutal.

But man is it fun to watch. I had a blast. This is one movie I had no idea what would happen next, from beginning to end.

^That last paragraph is why I will take a film like Faust over almost any other modern blockbuster. I have no more time in my life for cookie cutter bullshit.

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"Well, I guess I have to hunt down some garbage Crow knock off with Satan and Jeffery Combs," said the fat Jonah Ray doppelgänger with tattoos of Hellboy and The Question. 

Edited by Preston

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The Punisher 1989: WOW. Just...wow. Someone has to explain to me how this isn't the best Punisher movie ever. (Aside from the lack of skull) 

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There is nothing unremarkable about the Punisher telling a kid to grow up good or he'll be waiting after he MURDERED HIS GANGSTER FATHER IN FRONT OF HIM.

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