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The Master

Every Film You've Watched in 2019

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Dark Phoenix: On its own, this is a good movie. I haven't read the reviews, but I don't get the hate for it.

However, if you try to understand it in the context of the franchise, it is incomprehensible. MaCavoy and Fassbender are WAY too young, especially since their characters stretch back to the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Films Watched: 18

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I intentionally put the other movies out of my mind and watched this as a stand-alone movie.

I had to do that because the timeline was driving me crazy. :)

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It does watch better as a one-off. I didn't feel lost not having seen Apocalypse, and dug this as a random X-Men adventure.

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Us: review forthcoming

Features: 48

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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Godzilla: King of the Monsters - Mixed on this. It looks really nice, the monsters are framed in appropriately mythic scale. The cast is fantastic, and commit to the material. They're much more memorable here than in the 2014 movie. The monsters get a lot of great moments, each manage to convey their personalities in fun ways. I never expected Mothra to be a breakout character, despite being beloved by fans of the original movies.

On the other hand, the movie crammed so much material at such a relentless pace, it was exhausting. My response to Godzilla arriving during a battle with two other kaiju shouldn't be "this is still going on??". I don't know what else they can do for Godzilla vs Kong.

Spoiler

Also, I found it really distasteful to have Serizawa sacrifice himself, with a nuclear bomb, to resurrect Godzilla. Did nobody consider how that looked? I'll admit, Watanabe sold that scene, but it felt more like an unneeded homage to the original movie.

 

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Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

A solid follow-up that picks up immediately after the last one left off with zero time skipped. Like with Wrath of Khan, the plot feels lesser than it is. Both films have a plot, but they almost feel invisible to the character conflicts. Not a criticism, just an observation. Shatner gave another solid performance full of emotion, and the support players had way more to do than I've seen them in probably ever. This made the movie really heartfelt, with the theme of friendship making all of the crazy BS worthwhile. The ending got me, not gonna lie.

Spoiler

David's death was pretty lame tho. Felt gratuitous, I didn't see the point in it. But Kirk's reaction was excellent.

The new actress for Saviuk wasn't terrific, but she was way more Vulcan-like than Kirstie Alley, so I liked her better.

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Bad News Bears: Boy, this was a blast from the past. I love how pure thesis. It doesn't give a fuck about anything outside the baseball team. There's a machination at the league level to get this team out of there, but the film doesn't give a fuck. There's a former love story with a player's mom, but the film doesn't give a fuck. It's just about alcoholic Walter Matthau coaching a bunch of nerds, Oscar Winner Tatum O'Neal and young Rorshach even though he's not really interested. Loved it. Boys did too. It actually took me to the credits to realize it was Jackie Earl Haley. I'd completely forgotten. So I showed the boys the "You're locked in here with me" scene from Watchmen. I may have to watch that with them next.

Always Be My Maybe: this was really fun. It's pretty standard romantic comedy until Keanu Reeves shows up and it kicks into wildly hysterical comedy territory. He's a treasure. Randall Park is a legitimate movie star too.

Features: 50

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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4 hours ago, Dread said:

Bad News Bears: Boy, this was a blast from the past. I love how pure thesis. It doesn't give a fuck about anything outside the baseball team. There's a machination at the league level to get this team out of there, but the film doesn't give a fuck. There's a former love story with a player's mom, but the film doesn't give a fuck. It's just about alcoholic Walter Matthau coaching a bunch of nerds, Oscar Winner Tatum O'Neal and young Rorshach even though he's not really interested. Loved it. Boys did too. It actually took me to the credits to realize it was Jackie Earl Haley. I'd completely forgotten. So I showed the boys the "You're locked in here with me" scene from Watchmen. I may have to watch that with them next.

Due to it being on constant rotation on local TV, I have seen this movie dozens upon dozens of times. It never gets old.

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Freddy vs. Jason: this is crazy cartoony and a hell of a lot of fun. It's a Friday movie with a Nightmare sense of humour and it works for the most part. Some regrettably very 2003 CGI here. I know a lot of people in this movie as it was almost entirely filmed within 10 minutes of where I grew up, but I noticed Evangeline Lilly as an extra at the high school for the first time. Yes, I knew her. Fucking hell. Always ridiculously hot and didn't really seem to know it. How I never recognized her in this film before is beyond me.

Features: 51

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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FVJ is pure fan service awesomeness wire-to-wire. I love that flick.

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It's also interesting as a post-Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon film. There's fucking wire work in one of the fights between Freddy and Jason. And the moment of Freddy leaping out of Crystal Lake awash in red light is about as beautiful as anything got in the horror genre in the 00s.

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Superman IV: The Quest for Peace: Superman tells the nations of the world, "No more bombs" and then there are no more bombs. Superman uses the roofie kiss, burns Lois Lane's roast, and dates two women at once. True, Superman III Superman does more dickish things but those are under the influence. This is much more hardcore Superman is a Dick territory to me.

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe: The 70s animated version. Voice acting is hammy, the animation is choppy, yet it will always hit a nostalgia cord for me!

Showgirls: My annual viewing. Watched it with friends this year so good for me.

Films: 77
MST3K/Rifftrax Assisted: 2

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Warlock: review forthcoming

Features: 52

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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Rocketman: A much more entertaining and comparatively pleasant biopic about a flamboyant performer, Taron Egerton delivers a terrifically energetic performance. A lot of fun, I'd see it again.

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Warlock: Armageddon/Warlock: End of Innocence: reviews forthcoming

Features: 54

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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Friday the 13th (2009): this is kind of a quintessential Friday film. It's a mashup of the first three films with the over the top feeling of Jason Lives and the more modern films.

Features: 55

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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Rocketman: Taron Egerton was fucking ridiculously good. Ridiculously good. Was I supposed to be so sexually attracted to Elton John's mom? Has all the traps and beats of music bios and all the things you'd expect with a more esoteric approach and some fantastical elements that set it apart. The scene on stage at the Troubadour with him and the crowd is probably the best scene of a movie for the year for me. It captures the beauty of transcendant rock music between artist and fan better than anything I've ever seen on screen. I haven't seen Bohemian Rhapsody, but I can't believe Rami Malek is anywhere near as good as Egerton here.

Features: 56

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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Toy Story (1): Holds up wonderfully. Very simple story expanded with such verve and dimension, the hour and twenty minutes fly by. Intellectually I know the 1995 animation is dated, but I generally wasn't noticing much of it.

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Twins: this holds up. Ridiculous premise served up by two amazing comedic performances. Also, young Kelly Preston. Wowza. I started watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with the boys and they are in love with Danny Devito, so I thought I'd introduce them to his older movies.

Elvira Misterss of the Dark: corny and dumb as it would be expected. Been a long time since I've seen this. I did the innuendo jokes and Elvira was my first crush. Great make-up effects in the third act.

Features: 58

Shorts: 15

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 4

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7 hours ago, Dread said:

Twins: this holds up. Ridiculous premise served up by two amazing comedic performances. Also, young Kelly Preston. Wowza. I started watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with the boys and they are in love with Danny Devito, so I thought I'd introduce them to his older movies.

Did you catch the very brief appearance of Heather Graham? She plays the young version of the twins' mother.

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44 minutes ago, The Master said:

Did you catch the very brief appearance of Heather Graham? She plays the young version of the twins' mother.

Indeed - it started something on this network's programming.....

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On 6/29/2019 at 7:00 AM, The Master said:

Did you catch the very brief appearance of Heather Graham? She plays the young version of the twins' mother.

There was no way I would ever miss an appearance, however small, by the future Mrs. Reddick.

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Scream: I have a better TV and wanted to watch one of my favorite movies on it.

Ocean's 8: Was having something of a girl's night and this was the movie of choice and I'm not going to turn that down.

Films: 77
MST3K/Rifftrax Assisted:
2
Repeats: 2

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Spider-Man: Far From Home:

This was an annoying watch from start to finish. Nearly every scene is just strangled with "comedy" that isn't really humor, just people acting awkward.

There are good bits to be sure, and the film picks up a lot in the second half. Jake Gyllenhall as Mysterio was one of the better realized Spidey characters from the past several years, the best, I'd say, since the Sandman, maybe since Doc Ock. He turned out to be terrific. Tom Holland is still solid, no matter what is asked from him. He and Zendaya are both better than the material, and the movie could've used more of their interactions. Nick Fury here is more or less back to form coming after Captain Marvel.

But there's too many plays at comedy that it becomes a frustrating watch. None of the pathos is any deeper or realer than past Spidey movies, and quite frankly is plainly shallow. 

Spoiler

All the criticisms of the MCU Spider-Man from earlier films are amplified in this. Contextually it makes all the sense in the world that Tony Stark is seen as a Jesus figure, but it's so parodically done that you're not thinking the movie is aware of how over-the-top it is. Aunt May is still primarily there to be joked on. Sequences like the EDITH glasses attacking the bus are groan worthy, and feel more at home for an Ant Man film.

And we all knew the five year time skip would never be meaningfully addressed, but this movie raises so many interesting points about it that if they weren't going to follow up on what is a truly thought provoking scenario for a continuity, they shouldn't have done it.

The mid-credits sequence is pretty good, and is the most "Spider-Man" moment in the whole thing. But for the first half of the too-long running time of two hours and nine minutes, I sat there thinking that this was an expensive live-action episode of the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon. It's moderately amusing at times and there are some cool bits with Mysterio, but after the PS4 game and Into the Spider-Verse, there was nothing here for me. I liked Homecoming better.

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