Every film you've watched in 2020


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34 minutes ago, Professor said:

This time I watched movies so I could listen to 5 year old podcasts.  Synergy?

X-Men: First Class - (2nd viewing) - Still seems like an odd grouping of mutants to use.  But they are all disposable beyond the key 4, so what do I know.  Some of the effects are rough.

X-Men: Days of Future Past - (1st viewing) - The best of the McAvoy films.  Nice attempt to tie everything together.  Not sure it works if you think about it hard enough, but don't think that matters.

X-Men: Apocalypse - (2nd viewing) - Always felt I missed things by not seeing DoFP beforehand.  I was wrong.  This is an incredibly boring film.  And overly long.  The entire 20 minutes spent on the military base were pointless filler only serving to provide a cameo.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix - (1st viewing) - Don't think this was as bad as the reviews I heard upon release.  Been forever since I've seen Last Stand, but I think I just watched it here.  Redoing Phoenix I get.  But not when it was written but the same guy who missed the first time.  Also, I thought Jennifer Lawrence looked disinterested in Apocalypse, but it was an entire new level here.
 

My overall feelings on these movies is a big meh.  And I think DoFP is the reason why.  While it is the best of the bunch, it causes more problems then it solved.  Being the direct sequel to First Class is issue one.  Outside of the core 4 (Magneto, Xavier, Mystique & Beast), and a cameo, every single character from First Class is dead.  We, as the viewer, were given no chance to attach to that team.  Just dead.  But we get all the old favorites.  Or some.  But they aren't the main story and generally upstaged by the other future mutants.  Who we dont get attached to and, then, dead.  Moving on to Apocalypse, we focus on some of the original movie team.  Fine enough, but that also removes the characters from all danger.  The ending of DoFP show most alive and well.  So while the events don't follow the timeline we know as X1-X3, we still know in this timeline no one dies.  Thus, my boredom.

Hindsight and all, if the movies were tweaked and the order mixed around (with DoFP as the last film), that would have been a fitting sendoff for the Fox X-Men franchise.  Kinda similar to Endgame, but fitting.  And I some of the reviews I listened to today talk about 'nerds complaining about continuity.  Stupid Nerds.'  While I am, it is only because they started it by trying to tie the Stewart & McAvoy films together. 

 

When Marvel gets around to making X-Men movies, I hope that Magento is nowhere to be seen.  He has been in every single one.  And these 4 all had multiple heel/face turns.  It got old.  "Let's save the day.  No, I'm gonna murderkill everyone.  No, save the day.  Anybody fancy a game of chess?".  Has to be something better.

I feel like one of the main problems with this run was that Jennifer Lawrence became a massive star and, as such, drove the focus of the rest of the series. Her character was a cypher to begin with. A toy between Xavier and Magneto, she was never written as anything else. Does it suck? Yup. Does it mean they tried to do more with her? Yup. But the more they did, did nothing to expand on her character other than thrusting her to the forefront. Honestly, it would have been more interesting had January Jones become a big star after the first movie. That, at least, has more story potential.

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42 minutes ago, Dread said:

I feel like one of the main problems with this run was that Jennifer Lawrence became a massive star and, as such, drove the focus of the rest of the series. Her character was a cypher to begin with. A toy between Xavier and Magneto, she was never written as anything else. Does it suck? Yup. Does it mean they tried to do more with her? Yup. But the more they did, did nothing to expand on her character other than thrusting her to the forefront. Honestly, it would have been more interesting had January Jones become a big star after the first movie. That, at least, has more story potential.

It would help if January Jones had the acting talent to match her looks.

Apologies if that's a tad sexist, but my word, she was awful in First Class....

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7 hours ago, slothian said:

It would help if January Jones had the acting talent to match her looks.

Apologies if that's a tad sexist, but my word, she was awful in First Class....

That's beside the point, but I can't disagree.

Death By Metal: a documentary about one of the most influential musicians almost no one knows about: Chuck Schuldiner of Death.This is told from the perspective of family and bandmates and is pretty heartfelt. It's a sad story, and I guess I made the connection that he was basically the Brian Wilson of death metal.

Verotika: review forthcoming, but wow...

  • Features: 50
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Now, for some late 70s made-for-TV movies

Dr. Strange (1978) - In hindsight I'm glad I started with this one.  It is clearly the worst of the lot.  The broomstick that is the lead offers nothing.  And neither does the plot.  Nothing happens.  I was disappointed.  70s + Dr. Strange + amounts of drugs should have produced something.

Amazing Spider-Man (1977) - This was something.  I give the costume and effects a pass.  But this dies at the feet of Nicholas Hammond.  He is not good, and the story doesn't help him much.  A complete schmuck.  Also, wrestling has ruined kendo sticks as effective weapons for me.

Captain America (1979) - Interesting choices made here.  Steve just wants to drive his van and paint.  Sounds right.  Don't know if Reb Brown has range, but he nails mellow.  But good lord that costume.  Fantastic.

Captain America II: Death Too Soon (1979) - Odd, in that nothing really changed (beyond the costume), but this was better.  Better may be the wrong word.  More fun?  Perhaps without having to do an origin the story had more to do.

Spider-Man Strikes Back (1978) - Maybe a cheat to call it a movie (since it is two episodes of the show), but it is how my VHS labels it & Wiki has it had a theater run in Europe.  So I'll count it.  Same as with Cap, this is better than the first.  Hammond is still a schmuck.

Spider-Man (Supaidāman) (1978) - Again, maybe a cheat, but how can I not?  Only 20 minutes, so call it a short?  I loved this.  It is Spider-Man fighting puttys and calling on Megazord power.  Pretty sure I did the same thing with action figures.

The Incredible Hulk (1977) - The classic.  Blows everything else here out of the water.

Spider-Man: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) - AKA the last two episodes of the series.  But released as a movie in 81, so valid.  The best of the American Spider-Man.  Finally figured out how to use his web.  Hammond is slightly less of a schmuck.  Slightly.  Portrays Jonah as a person, which is nice.   Also has the most incompetent henchman I've seen in a long time.  And a random Ted Danson.

The Return of the Incredible Hulk (1977) - Breaks the trend of the 2nd being better.  More to do with the guest cast than anything, which I'd imagine is a theme in the series. 


After all of this, why did the Hulk work, and the others didn't.  On first glance, it is Bill Bixby.  He can act.  Hammond & Brown not so much.  But I think it is more than that.  Hulk is played seriously and is ultimately a tragedy.  You get the sad walking away music and the quest for something.  Everything else had an upbeat funk groove and had no thru-plot. 

Random notes:  The 70s had a seemingly endless supply of gorgeous women.

Since all these aired on CBS, kinda surprised that the Hulk wasn't used to launch the other series, backdoor pilot style.  Was that a thing?  Or were TV movies into series more common?

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2 hours ago, Professor said:

Captain America II: Death Too Soon (1979) - Odd, in that nothing really changed (beyond the costume), but this was better.  Better may be the wrong word.  More fun?  Perhaps without having to do an origin the story had more to do.

You can't underestimate what Christopher Lee brings to the party. His just being there brings this up a couple of notches.

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Coffee & Kareem: oof. Bad. But I'll watch Taraji P. Henson in anything.

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  • Documentaries: 6
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Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956): Entertaining. Pop Culture osmosis spoiled much of this, or made it predictable but it was still a suspenseful film. 

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Goldeneye: I can’t stand Natalya but that is more to do with the N64 game than the movie. I failed so many missions because she decided to run into a hail of bullets. I regret selling my N64 because I could totally fire up that game right now.

I thought it was unusual that Natalya knew how to use a gun.

It seems so strange that the guy who played Boris was also Nightcrawler in X2.

One thing I never got: Trevelyan was bitter that Bond shortened the timer on the bombs. But Bond had just watched 006 get shot in the head at point blank range, or at least that is what 006 wanted him to believe. It just makes no sense for him to carry that grudge.

Films Watched: 17

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10 hours ago, S-T said:

Goldeneye: I regret selling my N64 because I could totally fire up that game right now.

Sorry to say that I did this within the last few years and it has aged terribly. Doesn't dampen my memories of playing the game but it has definitely been improved upon. There is a PC mod that integrates mouse/keyboard controls however...

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Kingpin: the performances are, to a letter, all great. The jokes are not. This has not aged well.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin: great crude humour which, if I'm not mistaken, was the film that ushered in the R rated comedy boom. 

  • Features: 53
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  • Documentaries: 6
  • Rewatches: 1
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Austin Powers 2: better than the first, and they featured Dr. Evil a bit more. He is a better character than Austin Powers. 

Powers believing Dr Evil could be his father creates a big plot hole in the third movie, when they were in spy school together.

The trailer is funny given how the Phantom Menace has aged. “If you see only one movie this summer, see... Star Wars. But if you see two movies, see Austin Powers.”

It does show how excited people were for that, when a rival studio openly says that in the trailer for their movie, even in jest.

Films watched: 18

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20 hours ago, S-T said:

The trailer is funny given how the Phantom Menace has aged. “If you see only one movie this summer, see... Star Wars. But if you see two movies, see Austin Powers.”

It does show how excited people were for that, when a rival studio openly says that in the trailer for their movie, even in jest.

Kinda reminds me of this one trailer for Monsters Inc.

 

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Bad Boys for Life: I remember first watching the trailer for this on this very board! This was actually better than I was anticipating, with moments of genuine drama and character interplay. It's by no means innovative or brilliant, but it's far more restrained on the levels of crass that the previous Bay film indulged in. It also avoids a lot of the cliche'd pitfalls of certain story elements like bringing in some younger characters and having a romantic interest for Mike Lowrey be not a damsel in distress. Pretty good.

 

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Upgrade: Echoing what I've seen posted all over the place, this is the Venom movie people wanted. A fun, stylized sci-fi revenge flick. But the bit at the end makes me think this would have made for a great ending to a second movie in a trilogy. Specifically, an Agent Venom trilogy.

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On 5/1/2020 at 3:29 PM, Professor said:

 

Amazing Spider-Man (1977) - This was something.  I give the costume and effects a pass.  But this dies at the feet of Nicholas Hammond.  He is not good, and the story doesn't help him much.  A complete schmuck.  Also, wrestling has ruined kendo sticks as effective weapons for me.

Spider-Man Strikes Back (1978) - Maybe a cheat to call it a movie (since it is two episodes of the show), but it is how my VHS labels it & Wiki has it had a theater run in Europe.  So I'll count it.  Same as with Cap, this is better than the first.  Hammond is still a schmuck.


Spider-Man: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) - AKA the last two episodes of the series.  But released as a movie in 81, so valid.  The best of the American Spider-Man.  Finally figured out how to use his web.  Hammond is slightly less of a schmuck.  Slightly.  Portrays Jonah as a person, which is nice.   Also has the most incompetent henchman I've seen in a long time.  And a random Ted Danson.
 

There will be ZERO TOLERANCE of any Nicholas Hammond dragging in my house.

*Realizes this isn't his house*

 

Something Borrowed: A 2011 adaptation of a novel with a sequel entitled "Something Blue" starring Kate Hudson, Gennifer Goodwin and John Krasinski about a woman who's having an affair with her best friend. I watched this film after dipping my toe into a review excoriating it, so I was curious. It's a slow burn, pretty basic for the first half where you're not immediately disdaining the premise but as time goes on the character mire in stupidity and by the end everyone is plainly awful. And the screenwriter doesn't understand how awful they are.

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The Return of Jafar: Essentially a pilot for The Series. Still odd that The Series has yet to make it's way to Disney+.

Recess: School's Out: Recess is one of those 90s shows that's always stuck with me. The movie is alright but what really makes it slightly above average is the decision of production to use 60s and 70s rock/funk music as incidental. It almost makes sense.

Recess: All Growed Down & Recess: Taking the Fifth: Less inspiring. One is essentially a complimation of segments from the show with wrap-arounds and one original, the other is unreleased segments from a partially produced season that they decided to recoup the cost on by releasing as a feature.

The Avengers: It's been a few years and I've put it off because it was on a few Movie Night polls for my friends. Just decided to say fuck it and watch the film. I enjoyed it well enough. The Whedon Dialogue is still very obvious and sometimes meh but it has a few good actions scenes that make up for it. "Hulk? Smash!" will always be a good quip.

Films: 77
Mst3k/Rifftrax/Other Assisted: 14

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Austin Powers in Goldmember: This is a lot of fun. The Dr. Evil character continues to be the best thing about this franchise. 

Films watched: 19

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Hail Satan!:Decent. It just felt really light. Could have used a little deeper of an exploration.

Total Recall: been a minute since I've seen this. Really fun. The effects hold up immensely and the action is great.

  • Features: 54
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  • Documentaries: 7
  • Rewatches: 1
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