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The Master

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My comment on a student's Creative Writing assignment handed in just now:

"It's lovely, but it would be lovelier if it wasn't written by Robert Frost 75 years ago."

Boom. Plagiarist dead.

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On 10/6/2017 at 8:52 PM, The Master said:

Wow! Was it a line or two, or the whole thing?

It was LITERALLY THE ENTIRETY of Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening.

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Long story short: This morning my boss was compiling WiFi stats to give to the organizers of an event that's been taking place in our building this week. In so doing, he noted a fair amount of pornography being transmitted over our network. He asked me to investigate. A few minutes later I had some interesting data about the user's habits, which I can trace back over a 30-day period:

  • This is clearly an employee.
  • He spends a lot of time on dating apps.
  • He spends some time on lingerie sites.
  • He also likes live cam sites.

Also:

  • He favors one adult site in particular.
  • In those 30 days, he's consumed at least 17 GB of videos from that site alone.
  • Thus totaling at least 23 hours of adult videos while on the clock.

Moral of the story: Don't watch porn at work. (Or, if you do, add the videos to your phone at home, like you would songs and ebooks, this way the network cannot pick them up.)

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After seeing the engines of the Falcon Heavy rockets I am convinced that Elon Musk is a fan of the Mean Machine from Wacky Races.

aHR0cDovL3d3dy5zcGFjZS5jb20vaW1hZ2VzL2kv

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I have made the following three New Years Resolutions:

1. I resolve to lose more of my hair in 2018.

2. I resolve to have the hair that remains go more gray in 2018.

3. I resolve that my beard will be more gray in 2018.

I am pretty sure I can keep these.

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It has gotten to the point that I have to physically pick up my Beagle in the morning to take her downstairs and outside for a walk. She's never been terribly thrilled with waking up early to go on a walk at 6:00 a.m. so I can get ready to go to work, but she just completely sandbags me any more.

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