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The Master

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My comment on a student's Creative Writing assignment handed in just now:

"It's lovely, but it would be lovelier if it wasn't written by Robert Frost 75 years ago."

Boom. Plagiarist dead.

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On 10/6/2017 at 8:52 PM, The Master said:

Wow! Was it a line or two, or the whole thing?

It was LITERALLY THE ENTIRETY of Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening.

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Long story short: This morning my boss was compiling WiFi stats to give to the organizers of an event that's been taking place in our building this week. In so doing, he noted a fair amount of pornography being transmitted over our network. He asked me to investigate. A few minutes later I had some interesting data about the user's habits, which I can trace back over a 30-day period:

  • This is clearly an employee.
  • He spends a lot of time on dating apps.
  • He spends some time on lingerie sites.
  • He also likes live cam sites.

Also:

  • He favors one adult site in particular.
  • In those 30 days, he's consumed at least 17 GB of videos from that site alone.
  • Thus totaling at least 23 hours of adult videos while on the clock.

Moral of the story: Don't watch porn at work. (Or, if you do, add the videos to your phone at home, like you would songs and ebooks, this way the network cannot pick them up.)

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After seeing the engines of the Falcon Heavy rockets I am convinced that Elon Musk is a fan of the Mean Machine from Wacky Races.

aHR0cDovL3d3dy5zcGFjZS5jb20vaW1hZ2VzL2kv

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I have made the following three New Years Resolutions:

1. I resolve to lose more of my hair in 2018.

2. I resolve to have the hair that remains go more gray in 2018.

3. I resolve that my beard will be more gray in 2018.

I am pretty sure I can keep these.

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It has gotten to the point that I have to physically pick up my Beagle in the morning to take her downstairs and outside for a walk. She's never been terribly thrilled with waking up early to go on a walk at 6:00 a.m. so I can get ready to go to work, but she just completely sandbags me any more.

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It ended on a bitter note with long-time paying customers abandoned and mistreated, but despite that I miss MyFamily dot com. (URL spelled out, as the service is dead now.) It was a really neat service that was great for keeping up with family. Totally irrelevant in the age of Facebook though, especially since there was a steep annual fee to have a site.

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When I saw Chris Hardwick was trending on Twitter I thought he had died. I kind of wish he had rather then this. His ex wrote an article accusing him of sexual assault and emotional abuse. If true, his career is probably over.  

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8 hours ago, JackFetch said:

When I saw Chris Hardwick was trending on Twitter I thought he had died. I kind of wish he had rather then this. His ex wrote an article accusing him of sexual assault and emotional abuse. If true, his career is probably over.  

Yeah, that was a pretty brutal read.

I've not really bothered with the Nerdist network, but there's no way in hell I'm going to start patronising it now.

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He sold Nerdist two years ago to Legendary. Nerdist put out a statement clarifying that he has nothing to do with them. They will most likely have to change the name now, which sucks because that's pretty much all they paid for. 

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On 6/15/2018 at 4:49 PM, JackFetch said:

He sold Nerdist two years ago to Legendary. Nerdist put out a statement clarifying that he has nothing to do with them.

Thanks for the clarification.

Hopefully innocent people aren't harmed by the allegations.

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Today a little boy who couldn't be more than seven years old walked up to me and told me a secret. 

 

Never talk to a cowboy when the lights are out.

 

I bet in ten years I will start a business, my business partner will help fund it. Later I realize he got the money from organized crime. using what we have and scraping together my savings I will pay back the mobsters. They send a thug to meet in a dark parking lot.  After giving the money back the figure in the dark reveals that he kills when the lights are out. The thug step out to have been the boy all along. His fellow members call him by his alias "cowboy." While losing consciousness I realize that is what he meant. 

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OK. My Beagle was recently at the vet. She will be 15 in November. Among other things, she has arthritis, so we have a pill we give her each day to help with pain and inflammation.  She has more energy now, is able to play a bit more, and doesn't seem as tender and stiff in the morning. So I'm glad to pay for the medicine. The problem is getting her to take the pill.

The first two days were fine, and then she decided she did not want to take the pill any more. So every morning I have to pry her mouth open , force the pill into the back of her mouth, and hold her mouth shut until she swallows it. Lovely. Just take your blasted pill. I realize a dog doesn't understand that the reason she feels better is because of the pill that I force feed her every morning. I even put peanut butter on the pill. Take it now? Nope.

Went back to the vet the other day to get more and told her about it. She was very surprised, because the pills are apparently tasty. One of the other pet owners had their dog jump up on the counter, get the bottle open and eat all of them. The vet suggested covering it with cream cheese. That didn't work either.

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