Nightmare on Elm Street remake


JackFetch

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I was all jazzed up to go today after I got done with class. Now, I'll probably wait until it's at the bargain cinema. It's sad because A Nightmare on Elm Street is my favorite horror franchise so I forced myself to try and have high hopes. I'm especially disappointed with Haley's performance since, all things considered, I thought he did a terrific Rorschach. That same viciousness should have transferred well over to Freddy. Knowing now that it didn't is the worst part, especially with the knowledge that Robert Englund could have slipped right back into the role so easily. I think I'll rewatch Dream Warriors later instead.

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It was OK.

Not great by any means. I stifled a laugh when someone who wasn't even born when the original came out commented that it was "better than the original." Riiiiiiight.

Rooney Mara doesn't hold a candle to Heather Langenkamp. Not even close.

Kyle Gallner vs. Johnny Depp? Please.

Jackie Earle Haley is no Robert Englund.

The problem with remaking NOES as opposed to remaking Friday the 13th is that while Jason is a very generic killer who can be played by anyone, Robert Englund is Freddy Kruger. You need to knock it out of the park.

The lead-up to the parents killing Freddy was slightly more plausible. "He got off because someone didn't sign the search warrant in the right place" may be great fodder for a movie, but it is not grounded in reality. It's fearmongering designed to ease us into giving up our civil rights. (I'll stop here and avoid turning this into a political rant.)

"More plausible" should be "less implausible." No way do the parents get away with killing him like that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Went to see it today. Going to make a long list of what I thought, and will probably miss stuff.

First 30 minutes were fucking shit, this film was fucking dull, it had no presence, and wasn't interesting, Freddy was shit, he was just another annoying killer at this point. The killing of whats her face did nothing for me, and felt shit, when she's ripped up against the wall, it felt like a very shit nod to the first movie, and the way she's killed left no tension. To be honest, I didn't give a fuck about her, and when she died, I just said blah.

The boy sent to prison was also shit and nameless, and did nothing for me, did not interest me in the slightest, shit character with a shit actor playing him. It was only when he was doing his death dream that I gave a shit about him. When he died, I still didn't give a fuck. Quentin bothered me, not because the actor was shit, which he was, but because to me, he was the spitting image of a fatter faced Robert Pattison, so, I couldn't realy give two fucks about him. Thankfully, the actor was so fucking useless, I didn't feel like I was shortchanging him for his prick emo look.

Nancy was generic horror girl who I didn't care about, her drawing shit was just used as a way for paedo Freddy to get to her. It was shit, as was the bath homage scene. She sets an alarm, only to get called by Quentin, yes it was a nice change from alarms, but a bit of a stupid one. The way they find the photo of them as kids was also shite, and Nancy's mom was utterly fucking awful in this movie "You found the photo! Darn it, come around here while I tell you the story of Freddy...."

Clancy Brown was a waste of time in this movie, his role could have been filled by any shit actor. The google rip off they used to find the other kids was a shitty time cop out, for something that could have been followed up in a sequel(Like Dream Warriors did) while I'm at it, the scene of the parents burning Freddy although good in the trailer, in context was fucking shit. They chase him to a fucking site, awesome. In the original, they chase him to his boiler room, here its a generic factory. Also, the sweater reveal was shit and felt tacked on.

"We didn't want to believe it was true..." they didn't want to believe that a man who lived in a basement in a fucking pre school who hung around with kids could possibly be a threat to kids after all the injuries. Also, I don't know about America, but here, on staff janitors sometimes get an actual house on the grounds, not a fucking closet in the basement. Also, the nursery was in the middle of fucking nowhere, what did you expect?

Freddy for the....hour was shit. I couldn't believe in him, and he wasn't that good a villian. However when his real reasoning for keeping Nancy and Quentin alive was to actually fucking scar them and remind them of how much of an evil bastard he was when he was alive. I fucking loved that. It shows that this Freddy is an even sicker bastard that Englunds version. Englund just killed the kids for the most part, he didn't force them to relive the shit he did to them or their families when he was alive, this version wanted to let the kids know how much of a fucker he really was. The whole "we couldn't find his cave..." thing was bullshit.

Nancy is in his home for two minutes and finds it, and photo's of her, how the fuck did everyone else miss that? I know people in these movies are meant to be dumb, but jesus. The bit in the hospital was funny in a stupid way. Nancys mum being taken outside to be asked to sign a waiver for Nancy to be given something to sleep, and her mother having to think about her next set of actions. You can almost tell this actress was told this will be your defining career moment....oh wait Nancy fucked off, nevermind. The mother in general was shit, she wasn't interesting or entertaining like the original, and did nothing for the role, though in honesty, she was given fuck all to work with. Why was Freddy scratching the backs of the children with the knives when he was alive, wouldn't that be just dumb. That bothered me. Also, did anyone else notice the super 8 camera that was in his cave?

After Nancy falls asleep, Quentin passes it, and walks on, I was hoping he'd pick it up, and see Freddy had been filming one of the kids, or something, not for it to just be ignored. The final dream with Nancy was basically a greatest hits tape, it felt like it was out of Freddy VS Jason, the house looked the same too. Freddy was attempting to rape her.....alright..... The bit with the wet dream line, and the homages to both Johnny Depps death, and the death of horny kid in part 4"Wet dream" both felt forced and weren't all that good. However by this point, Freddy was actually menacing, and I enjoyed it.

When Freddy was taken into the real world, and his throat slit, that was a nice homage to the first death in the film. However, they have all this evidence to put their parents minds to ease that Freddy wasn't killed wrongly, and what does Nancy do? She burns it all. Smart move. Also, she leaves Freddy in the room. Atleast in FVJ, they cut his fucking head off to show he's dead. The ending with the mother going through the mirror was a nice homage to the original, but it wasn't anything special, the audience saw it coming. Most movies have been helped by CGI, and I think the NOES franchise should not use CG, the effect of Freddy going through the wall for Nancy was done a lot better in the original, and it probably cost a tenth of what it did in this movie.

So, all in all, it was very hit and miss. I do hope they make a sequel though, and even though I have said a lot against the film, I will be buying it on DVD when it comes out. If you're a big NOES fan go and see this with low hopes. If you're a halfway fan, or just looking for a good film to see, wait for the DVD.

If you're a big NOES fan go and see it in the cinema. If you're a fan but not a big fan, or have never seen the other films, wait for the DVD.

Edit: The other half made a damn fine point that I missed:

If they were five when all this bad stuff happened, why wouldn't they remember?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Caught up with it last night and found it to be bland and lifeless, but it didn't bore me. Haley was very good as Krueger and the movie had one classic line ("Why are you screaming? I haven't cut you yet.") in it. All in all the remake was about as good as either Freddy's Dead or The Dream Child were.

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