James D.

101+ Things I Learned From Movies

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53. Pair a crazy, loud black dude with a man of any other race and send them on a mission to stop some bad guys and hilarious misadventures will always follow.

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62. When being chased by a ghost or monster, the lone black person in the group will be the first to die. (If you're group is comprised of all white people, the sluttiest girl will die first.)

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65. Newcomers to a mysterious/scary town will always be spoken to by some scraggly old man or woman warning them of imminent danger in some cryptic way instead of actually telling them why they should be hauling ass out of town.

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67. If you're guarding a prisoner, and she happens to be a beautiful woman, and she wants you to come inside the cell so that the two of you can get to know each other better, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, open that cage door. There will be no sex. Only blunt force trauma.

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69. Hideously overcomplicated death machines will always have a helpfully labelled off switch.

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