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JackFetch

Transformers 3

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I've repeatedly heard the phrase "Megatron, let's tango" attributed to Optimus Prime in this film. My brain bleeds with the stomach-churning awfulness.

What was wrong with "One shall stand, one shall fall!"

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There will never be a more memorable battle in a Transformers movie than Optimus vs. Megatron in the 1986 one. It's a childhood memory.

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I've repeatedly heard the phrase "Megatron, let's tango" attributed to Optimus Prime in this film. My brain bleeds with the stomach-churning awfulness.

I don't remember that.

There's only one scene (to my memory) where Optimus and Megatron meet, and he doesn't say that.

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I've repeatedly heard the phrase "Megatron, let's tango" attributed to Optimus Prime in this film. My brain bleeds with the stomach-churning awfulness.

I don't remember that.

There's only one scene (to my memory) where Optimus and Megatron meet, and he doesn't say that.

To settle this, Stavros, you'll have to go and watch this film in 3D to be sure.

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Megan Fox's replacement is a thousand times better. While it's obvious that she was cast for her looks, her character is actually sweet and caring, rather than just pointless and slutty.

Pointless and slutty is a pretty good summation of Megan Fox.

:unsure:

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OH, wait. It wasn't Optimus who said it; it was John Turturro.

"Tell Megatron: 'let's tango!'"

Doesn't matter, Stavros still has to watch it - it's been decreed!!

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OH, wait. It wasn't Optimus who said it; it was John Turturro.

"Tell Megatron: 'let's tango!'"

Doesn't matter, Stavros still has to watch it - it's been decreed!!

Don't make me do it! I went to see Bridesmaids tonight, it was good! It was gooood!(breaks down into inconsolable weeping)

OK, it's better that Optimus didn't say it, reports must have got it mixed up.

I'd bitch about those reused shots if Star Trek didn't reuse the same shot of a bird of prey blowing up several times. I can forgive little bits like Bay far more than using the same shot as the climax for back to back films (VI and Generations)

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Oh by the way, Knightwing, is it true that the first shot of Carly is a tracking shot of her ass? I don't want to say she's completely a sex object for Michael Bay when she might be only mostly one.

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He literally reused shots from The Island.

Michael Bay showing a lack of originality and creativity? Perish the thought...

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Oh by the way, Knightwing, is it true that the first shot of Carly is a tracking shot of her ass? I don't want to say she's completely a sex object for Michael Bay when she might be only mostly one.

Yup.

It lasts for about 5-10 seconds, and surprisingly, that's actually the only ridiculously oversexualized part of the movie. I expected at least a few more random chicks in cutoff hotpants or something.

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Look, it's a movie about CG alien robots who turn into cars. It's basically a sci-fi exploitation film with a somewhat decent plot. It is what it is.

You don't need to get on a soapbox declaring that Michael Bay's movies are 90% testosterone-driven. It's like pointing out that there were lens flares in Star Trek, or that there were fifty billion dutch angles in Thor.

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Look, it's a movie about CG alien robots who turn into cars. It's basically a sci-fi exploitation film with a somewhat decent plot. It is what it is.

You don't need to get on a soapbox declaring that Michael Bay's movies are 90% testosterone-driven. It's like pointing out that there were lens flares in Star Trek, or that there were fifty billion dutch angles in Thor.

Except neither of those other things were massively inappropriate for the subject matter of the film. They're selling kids toys for crying out loud!

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Wow. I didn't think it was possible for me to have any less respect for Michael Bay, and yet, here we are.

Yep. That reuse of the scene is just, wow.

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...ok I'm going to go see this film. Not because I'm convinced it'll be good, but because I want to make up my own mind about it. My brother, who isn't exactly a film buff but whose opinion I respect, said it was daft fun. More importantly his friend Joe, who has almost exactly the same taste in films and TV as I do to an almost creepy degree, said it was fun. And he frequently hates on stupid films.

Yes this is evidence that I have almost no moral standards or principles that I stick by. Tell me something I don't know.

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Yes this is evidence that I have almost no moral standards or principles that I stick by. Tell me something I don't know.

The 1461 Battle of Towton fundamentally changed the rule of the Leicestershire nobility, as those with Lancastrian sympathies were largely removed and replaced with men loyal to the new king Edward IV.

I need to trot out my History degree every now and again.

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OK I saw this.

The Good

-Michael Bay has an eye for action like no other director in existence, he can visualise and execute some truly stunning sequences. The wing-glider jump, the assault on Chicago, from a technical standpoint they're completely stunning.

-We got to see Cybertron, which was an awesome thing to put in the opening because it gave me total geek-chills, it was something I was hoping for from the first time they announced live action Transformers.

-Sentinal Prime- Good character, his discovery, betrayal and defeat holds the entire film together and he's never brutal or venal for it's own sake, he just prizes his own race above moral considerations. Leonard Nimoy was an amazing vocal choice, and the only concession towards making this anything less than serious was his use of the phrase "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few", clearly a reference to Spock but also powerful when regarding his motives here.

The Bad

-If you can do all the incredible things Bay can do in a film, why the FUCK do you settle for a dogshit useless script like this one? I literally just took off the glasses and closed my eyes whenever there wasn't a transformer on the screen, I frankly gave not one shit about any of the humans in this film, especially Sam. Almost all the rest of the humans are comic-relief of so clich├ęd that they didn't even need to speak, I knew what they were going to say. I wanted to punch every single character in this film in the face. It's one thing to hate an underwear model in a film, it's quite another to make me never want to see Francis McDormand again. The only human worth a damn in this film was Alan Tudyk, I liked him.

-Michael Bay has serious issues. The appears to think that cars and women are fundamentally the same thing ie- something he can admire pronographically through a digital lens, but something he hasn't been allowed inside since the unpleasantness.

So there it is. I'd say there was too much action, but frankly the parts in-between the action were so bad I was begging for shit to get blown up. I don't know if I regret seeing it, but I didn't like it.

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