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The Master

The minor annoyances thread

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There's a woman I want to ask out, but I'm consumed by butterflies and lost words.

Ah. Been there.

Had a student today groan while stretching and then whine about getting old. I said "Hey, I was watching Dallas on Friday nights before you were born and I'm the next youngest in the room so shut up."

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Knock her over the head with a club and drag her back to your cave. You'll know you've done it right because little cartoon birds will be circling her head.

It's worked wonders for me.

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Get her drunk, and make out with her. That's generally my modus operandi.

...

Though, since you don't drink it's more akin to date rape.

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As one of the women folk, I say just start chatting her up, see if there's a way you can hear music where she is (I assume she's in your workplace?), and go from there.

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Take a deep breath Mike.

I agree with Venneh. Try starting the conversation by mentioning a song you heard on the radio that struck a cord with you and ask her what she thinks. If this is a workplace situation, turn on the radio and ask if she has a station preference. That would give you an indication on her musical tastes, without making the situation awkward.

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Sadly, deep breaths don't help my anxiety attacks. Waiting them out is all I can do.

Also sadly, the radio thing won't work for several reasons, mostly because my area needs to remain (mostly) quiet.

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Then ask about what her plans for the weekend are (I am assuming that the concert is a weekend event). Tell her about her your plans to attend the concert and study her reaction. If she shows interest in the band playing, use that to open the doorway of asking her to go to the concert.

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Pine over her, idolise her and then just as you're building up the courage to ask her out she'll start dating another guy. The resulting fallout of depression and drink will provide a fleeting and meaningless get together with someone who you definitely don't like. Years later you'll find that she ditched that other guy shortly after you last saw her and got married and had kids with someone you've never heard of. Always works for me.

I say works, I mean crushes my spirit.

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Fuck my job. Fuck it up the ass. I am so incredibly sick and tired of getting shit on all day by fucking teenage douchebags with MBAs.

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Wife volunteered me to help her friends move.

If there is no beer and pizza I'm coming back pissed off.

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Yeah, that's kinda standard moving incentive. Moving isn't something you do because you feel like being nice, it's something you do because you're either getting paid or getting food. The worse part is that you were volunteered. You have my sympathy.

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There is a baby in my house. Nothing makes me feel more misanthropic than a child.

Try having two of them

:P

Move had pizza but no beer. this was the third best thing that could have happened behind pizza + beer or just beer.

Went to a friend's house and drank beer instead.

All is balanced in the Force

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I love gauging the reaction of other parents when I call my sons "spawn" and "offspring" in common conversation.

Nothing beats the looks of terror on the faces of soccer moms everywhere when I refer to them as my brood.

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I love gauging the reaction of other parents when I call my sons "spawn" and "offspring" in common conversation.

Nothing beats the looks of terror on the faces of soccer moms everywhere when I refer to them as my brood.

On a similar note, a female friend of mine referred to her future plans with her longtime boyfriend by saying "when Adam and I eventually breed...." I know that's technically correct but even so, I had to challenge her on the wording.

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I was reminded that it is, in fact, Memorial Day, by a parade marching outside my window at 9 this morning.

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Taco Bell discontinued the Spicy Chicken Burrito again. Bastards.

I can see why though. It's a huge cost-cutter seeing as it's the only thing on the menu not composed of flour, ground beef and refried beans.

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My brother leaves for Marine Corps Boot Camp tomorrow. I will not see him again until about late August or September. He will come home for awhile, then be shipped off to God knows where. It will be a long time before I will see him again after that.

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