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The Master

The Box

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This actually looks pretty interesting, however, I have two problems with it:

01. Cameron Diaz trying to pull off a Southern accent is hilarious in a bad way.

02. The trailer uses music from... well, I don't want to spoil it. Hear it for yourself.

Oh, and here's a parody of the film, which I saw before the actual trailer.

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The trailer for the actual film didn't work for me.

But the parody was really funny, and was how the film would actually go to me.

The film looks to be a moral film, but then goes into "he has people everywhere" and the trailer just got dull from there.

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At the 1:15 mark does someone whisper "[inaudible] is bullshitting me"?

To me it sounded like, "just push it".

I was feeling it until "someone you don't know will die if you push this" - cut to 30 seconds later - "you're going to push the button and kill your wife".

I already have to watch Saw this year, I don't need another movie hurting my brain.

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I'll go to see the movie, mainly because I like the short story and the episode of the Twilight Zone that was first adapted from it as well as liking some of Richard Kelley's other work. That said, I'm going to have reservations about it until I actually see it.

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I think there's a twist in the way the offer is worded: "First, someone, somewhere in the world -- whom you don't know -- will die."

We're meant to assume he means someone you don't know will die, but I think it means you don't know who will die. So it could be one of them, their son, or anyone in the world.

And it could be "just push it," but I can't tell.

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I think there's a twist in the way the offer is worded: "First, someone, somewhere in the world -- whom you don't know -- will die."

We're meant to assume he means someone you don't know will die, but I think it means you don't know who will die. So it could be one of them, their son, or anyone in the world.

It would be a pretty big slap in the face to both the story and the Twilight Zone episode if they did that. But, it's Hollywood, so I fully expect them to.

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This film has me worried because of one thing: Cameron Diaz.

Oh yeah, and it's not like Matheson has been well-treated by Hollywood either.

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Non-spoiler take on the movie: Not recommended.

Spoiler take on the movie:

The first bit of the movie is the same as the Twilight Zone version of the story with some Mars stuff thrown in, right down to Mr. Steward saying that the box is going to be given to someone they don't know. That's where the suck started to appear. The beauty of the story and tv versions is the ambiguity of why the box is there. That's thrown out the window because aliens got added. Fucking Aliens. Why? Why aliens? If that's not bad enough, then we get a bit of a morality play and, yeah, one of the members of the couple dies, partially due to the next person pressing the button. Not recommended and glad I didn't have to pay to see it.

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You know, sometimes I imagine Hollywood as this titan standing at the top of a hill, daring any and all good ideas to come along so that he can fuck them up.

And there are noble people forming lines in this direction, and when they get to the top of the hill, they toss something at Hollywood and say "there's no possible way you can fuck that up".

Hollywood simply laughs at the challenge, and in mere moments he sends it back to them with a love story tacked on, a useless actress cast in a main role, and/or a twist that completely negates the point of the entire story.

Yet they continue to line up, knowing that he will forever be there to fuck things up.

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I often fantasize about Richard Matheson walking through Studio City with a 12 gauge killing anyone who walks by. He should. He also drags a huge can of leaking gasoline behind him and after his killing spree is through, he lights a cigarrette, takes a drag and throws it behind him while saying "Burn, Hollywood, Burn."

Then he comes to my house and tells me I'm the son he never had.

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I often have the same dream.

Well, if you replace Richard Matheson with Kate Beckinsale and "son" with "rugged man-warrior".

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