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JackFetch

G.I. Joe 2

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Holy fuckballs! I didn't expect that. When the Cobra flags came down on the White House I was like :buttrock: and when Bruce shows up I was like :holyshit:

Also, H.I.S.S. Tank at 1:58!

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That looks exactly like what I expect from a GI Joe movie. And that is awesome!

As much as I wasn't a fan of the first movie, I'll be seeing this opening day.

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Okay... that is much, much, MUCH better.

Ninja fight on the side of a mountain? Check.

...

Actually, that's pretty much all I need.

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As a child, I used to tie thread between my bedposts and the bottom of the legs of my desk, and my Joes would then zip-line from the mountain (RE: bed) to the base (RE: desk). The second I saw the Joes doing that in this trailer, I nearly squealed. Literally.

Also, bullets firing so hot they look like lasers? Yes!

Roadblock? Yes!

Roadblock with a big fucking gun? Yes!

This could suck balls in terms of story, but as long as that little-kid button is pushed for me, I will not give a shit.

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I didn't grow up with G.I. Joe. I don't know who anyone other than Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Cobra Commander are. But I am super-psyched for this.

Speaking of the commander, he has his shiny metal faceplate thingy!

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Though that is most likely Cobra Commander, the mask looked more like a Viper's.

I forgot that the first movie ended with Zartan disguised as the President of the United States. Now that I remember that, the plot of this movie (as presented in the trailer) makes more sense.

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Some things I noticed from the trailer:

Those are Rattlers, but the Joes seem to be in them.

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Cobra in what looks like the G.I. Joe Killer W.H.A.L.E.

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Cobra Commander looks straight out of Hellboy with his German looking coat and mask.

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I don't know if this is a trooper or Cobra Commander in a snow suit.

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Snake Eyes training Jinx. This is going to be very ninja heavy.

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When it comes to Cobra forces using a WHALE, maybe Cobra took their leftover tech / vehicles after the fall of the Joes.

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Ok, is this Cobra Commander supposed to be the same one as JGL? Because JGL's not in this, so I'm guessing CC remains masked throughout if so.

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I wonder if the red ninjas on the mountainside will be the Crimson Guard.

Though it's a deep story to go through, I'm pretty sure those are the Red Ninjas, renegade members of the Arashikage clan who often fought with Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow. And Jinx, come to think of it.

This just looks great. I'm kinda sad to see Duke apparently die, because I like Channing Tatum, but he was very... un-good ... in the first film. And my biggest regret? We don't get to see Marlon Wayans die.

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I love how the trailer starts by outright telling you that all the shit characters from the first movie die right off the bat

I love how they reboot it by killing off everyone. It's a great way to say the first movie happened, but they also know it sucked.

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Baroness was pretty much ruined in the last one, and Rachel Nichols was nothing more than eye candy. Hell, she was so stupid that she refused to believe in the concept of emotions until the end of the movie. And she fell for frikkin' RIPCORD of all people.

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