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JackFetch

Random movie and tv thoughts

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I recently started watching Austin Powers 2 again, and they literally looked at the audience and said not to worry about time travel plot holes. Wich brings me to @The Master's tweet about the Terminator franchise.

https://twitter.com/earth_2/status/1258272340909187087

I've always thought that the first Terminator movie represented an infinite loop. T-800 goes back, kills Sarah, and John is never born. So there is no resistance, there is no need to send the T-800 back in time, and history reverts to normal and John becomes a problem again.

Then the T-800 goes back, kills Sarah, and John is never born. So there is no resistance, there is no need to send the T-800 back in time, and history reverts to normal and John becomes a problem again. And it repeats over and over and over again.

And it's a pretty big plot hole that Reese is John's father. Who would John's father have been if not for that?

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My head canon is that Kyle is not John's father, rather it's the guy who called off the date with Sarah. That's the only way I can make the first movie work, in terms of John's parentage.

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The Terminator franchise is filled with bad time paradoxes and various other quibbles. I'm sure there's a podcast episode just trying to straighten out all the different timelines that someone can do. What we're likely dealing with, rather than a Stable Time Loop with some Predestination Paradox thrown in, is Divergent Timelines. This means, every time Skynet did something, it just led to a new Timeline rather than supplanting the previous Timeline. Off the top of my head:

  1. Timeline A: Presumably, John Connor is born (his father is whoever), Judgement Day occurs, and leads The Resistance to defeat Skynet. Skynet sends a bunch of Terminators back, John sends Kyle Reese and a reprogrammed Terminator. Everyone is happy.
  2. Timeline B: Sarah Connor is radicalized when she's chased all over LA by a Terminator sent to the past by Skynet. She meets up with and hooks up with Kyle Reese. She becomes pregnant with John and defeat the Terminator. It's parts lead to the creation of what will become Skynet. John goes into foster care, Sarah goes to prison, two more Terminators pop up, what will become Skynet doesn't happen. John might become a Senator. Who knows?
  3. Timeline C : Same as Timeline B but Skynet is still developed by the military. Sarah Connor dies of cancer. Skynet achieves sentience after a Terminator pops up and gives it a phone call. The Bad Terminator starts killing future resistance leaders. Judgement Day occurs, John kinda futzes into becoming leader of the Resistance. He presumably becomes Christian Bale and will eventually defeat Skynet, ensuring a whole host of more paradoxes.
  4. Timeline D : Sarah doesn't die of Breast Cancer due to future drugs and is, along with John, rescued by a Terminator that looks like River Tam and then taken forward in time. Both Skynet and The Resistance sent a fuckton of Terminators and Agents back in time in a bid to craft an ideal future for themselves. Eventually, John is taken into a future where he doesn't lead the Resistance but it's also a combo of Humans and Robots fighting Skynet and this would presumably have been solved but Fox canceled the show. Also, Sarah is now Lena Headly and a bad ass.
  5. Timeline E: Sarah's parents are murdered by a T-1000 when she's a kid and is raised by a T-800. Kyle Reese is still sent back but Sarah, now played by Emilia Clarke, and her Terminator Daddy have already dealt with the problem. John was ganked by Matt Smith who is also Skynet and he is turned into a Terminator who then gets sent to the past to develop an OS that will become Skynet. Kyle, Termidaddy, and Sarah go into the future to 2017, stop a successful product launch, kill John, and then tell young Kyle about Skynet to ensure the timeloop still occurs but Skynet still probably exists but there is no sequel to follow up on the mid credits sequence so meh. No word if Sarah is going to get cancer or not.
  6. Timeline F: One of the random Terminators that Skynet sent to the past kills John back in 1998 or so. It's then voop voops out of there to start a family or something. Sarah goes a little mental, killing all the Terminators Skynet sent back after that point. Presumably, these are all from Timeline A's mess because a different AI sent a Not-Terminator to the past to kill a woman in Mexico City. Things explode, Timeline F might or might not still end up getting blown up by an AI.

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10 hours ago, The Master said:

My head canon is that Kyle is not John's father, rather it's the guy who called off the date with Sarah. That's the only way I can make the first movie work, in terms of John's parentage.

That is a good point and something I never thought of. She got pregnant just before the events of the first movie and her boyfriend was being a (expletive) and blew her off after getting what he wanted. She latches onto Reese being the father because her ex is an (expletive).

But the movie is pretty explicit that Reese is the father... which is poetic but makes NO sense.

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They dropped the trailer on June 9. Or, 6/9.

"69, dudes!"

That is next-level marketing.

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So. As @Dread pointed out on Twitter, B&T3 will be released on August 21, 2020.

Which:

August = 8

+21
+20
+20

=69, Dudes!

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Hilarious as that is, will we have movie theaters back in business yet?

Maybe better to hold off until 8/20/2021.

I'm an eternal optimist.

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