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Venneh

Shining McAwesome Chat Room Moments

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Pretty much what the title says.

* D.W.

FUCK

* Venneh

kate survived?

* D.W.

Purgatory

* D.W.

it was fucking purgatory

* Jack Fetch

no

* Venneh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAh

that was bullshit

* Dread

wow...I called purgatory in season 2

* Doug P

anyway

* Jack Fetch

The flash sideway was the afterlife

* Jack Fetch

Everything on the island was real

* D.W.

everyone called purgatory in season 1

* Dread

Hah! religious propaganda for 200 alex

* Preston

HAHAHAHAH

* D.W.

I understand that, Jack

* Preston

Seriously?

* Venneh

I love it when this happens.

* Venneh

At least it wasn't some kid's snowglobe.

* Preston

They should have just made the finale JJ Abrhams jacking off into a pile of money.

* D.W.

fuck, that might have made more sense

* Dread

i wanted Bobby Ewing to step out of the shower at the end

* Jack Fetch

I like it.

* Jack Fetch

It made perfect sense to me

*

10:35 PM

* Dread

I'm just glad i stopped watsing my time with it

* D.W.

it was great for an hour

* Venneh

What happened to Kate?

* Preston

I am so, so amused right now.

* TFG1Mike

i never even wasted my time with it after I saw the plane crash lol

* D.W.

then it spent the rest of the time patting itself on the back

* Jack Fetch

She escaped the island

* D.W.

they killed the big bad within the first 45 minutes and everyone else just survived

* Venneh

And went to heaben?

* D.W.

no, there was an alternate timeline

* D.W.

that was purgatory

* D.W.

the island itself was just a bunch of bullshit that they never explained

* Venneh

Yeah, it does that

* Dread

a microcosm of the show itself

* Jack Fetch

They explained what they needed to.

* D.W.

like fuck they did

* Dread

haha

* D.W.

I want those six years of my life back

* Venneh

Lost: The Show That Finally Pushed Dubs To Drink

* D.W.

I don't know why this surprised me

* D.W.

I knew it was gonna suck

* Preston

Haha

* Venneh

It just sucked even more than you expected.

* Venneh

It exceeded all expectations.

* Venneh

Just not in a good way.

* D.W.

What's the island? Fuck you, that's what the island is.

* D.W.

What's that light? It's a light made out of fuck you.

* D.W.

Why are they all on the island? They're all there to say fuck you.

* Venneh

I just want to say that I called it being a big fuck you.

* TFG1Mike

well I am going to finish watching this ep of SVU catch y'all later

* Kscriv

Dubs, do you have any two word message to send to Mr. Abrams?

* Preston

Hahaha

* Venneh

Take care Mike

* D.W.

eat dick

* Preston

I love this.

* Dread

Grey poupon?

*

10:45 PM

* Kscriv

can we just rip this chat log and put itas a review on the mainpage.

* Kscriv

I would be a shining endorsement to the lurkers to get involved up in here

* D.W.

What the fuck did purgatory have to do with what was going on with the island? Fucking nothing, buy some DVDs, nerd.

* Venneh

You know what?

* Dread

what?

* Kscriv

Chicken Butt

* Venneh

I'm going to go make a Shining Chat Room Moments Thread.

* Venneh

And I'm going to copy/paste most of the Dubs rage.

* Dread

POW!

* Kscriv

works for Kellen

* Dread

I was going to say "in the butt"

* D.W.

Where was Mr. Eko? He read the script and said it was below his standards and he was in GI FUCKING JOE

* Venneh

And the bit from the other night works too.

* Venneh

Where we pointed out that Taun Tauns are bigger on the inside.

* Chris Johnson

An ABC source reported that the DVD and Blu-ray release of season 6 will feature twenty minutes of additional scenes, some of which will have answers to questions, cut from the storyline due to running time.

* Dread

buy the dvd nerd

* TFG1Mike

has left the room

* D.W.

Where did Walt get his powers? From his ass, the same place we get all our ideas from.

* Kscriv

Didn't they get 3.5 hours of the network's time?

* Dread

they got like 100 hours and decided to reveal nothing. Except the most obvious answer. Brian K. Vaughn sucks.

* D.W.

Why the fuck are people giving birth in purgatory? Cut us some slack, we only had TWO AND A HALF HOURS to explain everything

* Preston

Because we

* Dread

to be fair, unborn babies go to purgatory

* Preston

've been making this shit up as we go along.

* Preston

Okay?

* Preston

Is that what you wanted?

* Kscriv

so they were abortions, LIKE THIS SHOW AMIRITE!?!?!

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Part 2:

* D.W.

baby was already alive in the real world and aged to like, six

* Dread

POW!

* Preston

They kept giving us more money, and here's the secret: We're not good writers. But there was money, and coke and hookers, so by God, we were going to keep trying.

* Kscriv

uiynhbtrftvgnhyjub

* Kscriv

I slam my head against keyboard and magic happens

* D.W.

what did the numbers mean? they're the answer to the Fuck You Equation

*

10:50 PM

* Dread

it worked at the time. who cares if it makes sense!

* Dread

Dubs, remember yesterday or the day before when I posted about how the show sucked because it made no sense. Then you defended it? That was awesome.

* D.W.

you're remembering wrong

* D.W.

"as far as being a great mystery with a rewarding and logical conclusion, it's an epic failure."

* Preston

You know how many episodes of Lost I've watched? Zero.

* D.W.

I knew it was going to be bad

* Kscriv

so, isn't there a show that was once really good that's wrapping up tomorrow?

* D.W.

I didn't know it was going to be THIS bad

* Preston

Could be worse.

* Dread

"They're never going to explain what the numbers mean, why Walt had superpowers, who the people shooting at the canoes were, why the statue was there, what the MIB's name is, etc. And I'm not expecting them to.

The only thing the finale is going to serve is to tell us what the ultimate fate of the characters will be. Great dialogue and character development is what the show will ultimately be praised and remembered for, and I'm fine with

* Preston

Could be Battlestar Galactia

* D.W.

and in a week, I will be fine with that

* D.W.

but right now, I'm pissed

* Dread

heh

* Chris Johnson

Y'know, I'm gonna watch the whole series this summer, and if I hate the ending, I won't care because the first season at least was excellent TV.

* Venneh

New topic has been made.

* Jack Fetch

It's funny because I'm reading on AICN and everyone loved it. You seem to be the only one pissed

* D.W.

good for them

* D.W.

they can buy the DVDS

* Dread

AICN is paid to like everything

* Chris Johnson

No, I've been looking around and people are half and half. A lot hated the last 10 minutes.

* Jack Fetch

I'm talking about the talkbackers

* Jack Fetch

fuck Harry

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Does anyone mind if I take Kellen's suggestion and put this on the mainpage Monday morning? ^_^

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What's the island? Fuck you, that's what the island is.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Haven't seen the episode yet, but if the island is purgatory then why isn't it piled high with unbaptised babies? I mean, seriously, the island should be crawling with them.

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What's the island? Fuck you, that's what the island is.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Haven't seen the episode yet, but if the island is purgatory then why isn't it piled high with unbaptised babies? I mean, seriously, the island should be crawling with them.

The "sideways" timeline they've been going back to all season has been purgatory, not the island.

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From our weekly Saturday Night E2 Movie, which, this week, was Empire Strikes Back:

From the chat:

# Venneh

But the Taun Tauns are bigger... ON THE INSIDE.

# Stavros

HAH

# Chris Johnson

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!

# Venneh

That needs to be a shirt.

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This evening, we alternated adding sentences to create a story. Here is the result.

dc20willsave

Marie never thought she would be having her wedding at Jim's Bowl-a-rama but here she was.

KnightWing

She would have been married in a church, but after the robot apocalypse of 2017, there weren't any churches left standing in Stephenville.

Nicolette Opal

At least that's what her fiance, Jimmy -- the town's resident psychotic -- insisted whenever she'd bring up wedding plans; arguing with Jimmy wasn't an option.

Venneh

So, here she was, in a Bowl-o-Rama, about to walk down the center lane towards the justice of the peace and her fian - husband, standing where the tenpins ought to be.

Chris Johnson

The bowling shoes she was wearing were not befitting of a bride, but she made do with what she had after the robots had incinerated all the high heels.

dc20willsave

That was at least the store Jimmy had told her though he smelled of gasoline, whiskey and, oddly enough, watermelon.

KnightWing

Marie wondered now why she had chosen to marry the town's resident psychotic, and whether or not his insane ramblings perhaps had a fraction of truth.

Nicolette Opal

Make no mistake, there were benefits: His large trust fund, his muscular (though jittery) physique, the way he made her laugh like no one else could...but is all that enough? she wondered as she stepped carefully down the waxed lane.

Venneh

She could hear the whispers of the assembled guests, most of whom were carrying shotguns; Jimmy had insisted on it.

Chris Johnson

Suddenly amid the haze of words spoken with a southern drawl, she heard the distinct sound of an object rolling toward her.

dc20willsave

Mrs. Appleton's 3rd grade girls class had been given the same lane and they were going to bowl, goddammit!

KnightWing

Marie heard a loud "SNAP" and looked down to see her crushed ankle as she fell to the waxen floor.

Nicolette Opal

"But that was part of the plan," Jimmy pouted as they strapped Marie to a gurney.

Venneh

They were still in the lanes, and of course, the girls were going to bowl come hell or high water; the next little girl took out the legs of the gurney.

Chris Johnson

Considering the day she had, Marie was probably thankful that the next ball collided with her skull.

dc20willsave

Marie would wake up two years thinking herself to be a Latino hooker named Chiquita Bananas.

KnightWing

Jimmy, on the other hand, had many more adventures in the years ahead, most of which also involved head injuries.

Nicolette Opal

But who would ever be able to tell Jimmy had a head injury?

Venneh

Especially when compared to his... well, the woman who was supposed to be his wife.

Chris Johnson

Jimmy's belief that his job was a professional possum wrestler kept him occupied enough that he wasn't much of a nuisance to the other members of the community.

dc20willsave

Jimmy decided, after getting bitten by a possum, that it was time to become the masked avenger of the the mid-morning rush hour known as The Possum Avenger.

KnightWing

Later that night, the Possum Avenger stalked the rooftops of Stephenville, listening intently for those screams of the innocent that would call him to battle for justice.

Nicolette Opal

At least that's what he thought he was doing; the reality of the situation was, after Marie's accident, after she woke from her coma, she sought revenge.

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D.W. Explains It All:

D.W.

here is every Kesha song - "if you get me drunk enough, I'll fuck you. Wait, who am I kidding, I'll fuck you anyway. :chorus:"

D.W.

:bridge: :chorus: "whore, by the way" :chorus:

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Niki and I discussing Sex and the City 2.

* Venneh

Meanwhile, after reading the review of Sex and the City 2, I want to go rip my ovaries out.

* Nicolette Opal

yeah, I heard Sex and the City 2 was pretty awful

* Nicolette Opal

what'd the review say?

* Venneh

I'm going to let something from Texts From Last Night say it all, then I'll link up Ebert's review.

* Venneh

(805):

Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

*

4:45 PM

* Nicolette Opal

ha!

* Venneh

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=%2F20100525%2FREVIEWS%2F100529986

* Venneh

Exceprted:

* Venneh

Samantha is arrested for kissing on the beach, and there's an uncomfortable scene in which the girls are menaced by outraged men in a public market, where all they've done is dress in a way more appropriate for a sales reception at Victoria's Secret. They're rescued by Arab women so well covered only their eyes are visible, and in private these women reveal that underneath the burkas they're wearing Dior gowns and so forth. Must get hot.

* Nicolette Opal

oh my god

* Nicolette Opal

yeesh

* Venneh

Fire.

* Venneh

Rage.

* Venneh

Strangulation wth ovaries.

* Nicolette Opal

right?

* Venneh

But, if nothing else, I'm going to go see Iron Man 2 tonight, and because of that, it'll be an empty theatre.

* Venneh

Which will be fun, cause then me and my friend can fully appreciate the hotness that is Scarlett Johannson in leather.

* Nicolette Opal

* SuaveStar

ha

* Venneh

Brief updates. Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) is a high-powered lawyer who is dissed by her male chauvinist pig boss. Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) is still a sexaholic slut. Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) has the two little girls she thought she wanted, but now discovers that they actually expect to be raised. Mothers, if you are reading, run this through your head. One little girl dips her hands in strawberry topping and plants two big handprints on your butt. You are on the cell to a girlfriend. How do you report this? You moan and wail out: "My vintage Valentino!" Any mother who wears her vintage Valentino while making muffin topping with her kids should be hauled up before the Department of Children and Family Services.

* Venneh

YOU FAIL AS A MOTHER AND AS A HUMAN BEING.

*

4:50 PM

* Nicolette Opal

yow

* Nicolette Opal

i've always disliked that franchise, but this is just downright...

* Nicolette Opal

awful.

* SuaveStar

Don't you see the parallels between the show and real life?

* Venneh

I'm kind of horrible, but now I want to see Des see this, just to see how quickly he tries to strangle himself.

* SuaveStar

I mean who hasn't......I lasted as long as I could pretending that actually made sense

* Nicolette Opal

oh, I'd love to hear Des and Megan review this.

* Venneh

Megan's gonna review it next week

* Venneh

Des got out of it cause she's going to see it with her girls

* Venneh

The plan was originally for them to see it together.

* Venneh

"You knew when I married you I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.

* Venneh

What?

* Venneh

I don't even

* Nicolette Opal

*barf*

* Venneh

Seriously, if I ever am forced to watch this, there are large amounts of powerful alcohol involved

* Venneh

Preferably absinthe.

* Venneh

Or something that can knock me out in the first five minutes.

* Nicolette Opal

ha!

* Venneh

Meanwhile, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda run up against a culture clash in the Middle East, as their style and attitudes contrast with Muslim society. This clash, and comedy derived from their defiance, makes for "comic relief."[2] The sheik stops paying the bills and they have to return prematurely.

* Venneh

Comic relief.

* Venneh

Comic. Fucking.

* Venneh

RELIEF?!

* Venneh

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY, FUCK YOU AND THE FUCKING PRADAS YOU WALKED IN ON

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* slothian

there are still places that I've not paid much attention to

* slothian

Humberside (my ex lives there)

* slothian

Cornwall (very far away)

* slothian

Mid Wales (as it's mid-Wales)

* Stavros

Theres nothing worth noting in mid-wales, and cornwall is a desolate place

* Stavros

The cornish are a brutish, warlike people

* slothian

I'm hoping that once the blog is up to date, I can recruit some other volunteers to do something similar for a proper website

* slothian

* slothian

throwing pasties, eh?

* Stavros

you read my mind

* Stavros

Pasties are a serious business down there

* Stavros

Crusts hardened to be a tough as steel

*

11:00 PM

* slothian

* slothian

silly yokels

* Stavros

They're basically the Scottish without the gayer parts of glasgow

* Stavros

And here comes Suave

* Stavros

* slothian

heh!

* slothian

I was in Glasgow 2 months ago

* Stavros

Rough as old balls isn't it.

* slothian

wasn't too bad, but I couldn't live there

* SuaveStar

has entered the room

* slothian

Hey!

* Stavros

Hey Suave

* Stavros

Oh god

* SuaveStar

Yes....

* slothian

?

* Stavros

It was all Ian's idea

* SuaveStar

Was it....

* Stavros

Yup

* Stavros

Look at his guilty face!

*

11:05 PM

* slothian

well, I do have ultra psychic powers

* SuaveStar

That you do.

* slothian

it's like if Mike were coming here in 5 minutes, we'd start slagging off Chicago

* SuaveStar

So, my name was brought up, for some reason. Do I want to know?

* Stavros

God I hate Chicago

* Stavros

They're all like "They filmed Dark Knight here"

* Stavros

or "We've got such a rich cultural heretige"

* slothian

It was simply us talking about threatening places and Stavros likened Cornwall to Glasgow

* SuaveStar

Glasgow has that sign "Welcome to Glasgow".....

* Stavros

The only thing Chicago is famous for is criminals

* Stavros

here comes Mike...

* Stavros

* slothian

and as you live in Glasgow, you were name-checked as we predicted you'd be in to see such a line!

* SuaveStar

ha

* SuaveStar

Just awesome timing then

* Stavros

Yup

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The Earth-2.net Chat Room Presents: Will and Chris Comment On The Emmys

dc20willsave

Okay, Tina Fey is in a song and dance number with Jimmy Fallon and the Glee Cast and Joel McHale just showed up.

Koete

Shit! Gotta turn on TV.

Koete

Son of a bitch.

dc20willsave

What?

Koete

NPH lost again.

dc20willsave

Ehh, at least the guy from Two and a Half Men didn't win.

dc20willsave

God I hate him.

Koete

Yeah, I guess that's consolation.

dc20willsave

I was cheering for Chris Colfer but I knew that was a farshot.

dc20willsave

I think I realized what's going on with Berry White.

Koete

What's that?

dc20willsave

The Golden Girls, individually, had a certain amount of awesome split between the four of them but when one passed on, the remaining got split between the remainder. Now that Betty White is the last one, she's got all of it.

Koete

Hmm. So when does she take her apprentice and overthrow the Republic?

dc20willsave

Tiny Fey might be her apprentice.

Koete

That makes sense.

Koete (on a parody of the Old Spice ads)

Brilliant!

dc20willsave

Yeah.

dc20willsave

Damn, it's looking like Modern Family is scooping all the comedy awards tonight.

Koete

Yeah. I haven't seen an episode, so I don't know if it's deserved.

dc20willsave

Tom Hanks just said I love You.

dc20willsave

C'mon Jane Lynch.

Koete

Colbert FTW.

dc20willsave

WOOO!

Koete

Not surpised.

dc20willsave

I've always loved her. Just glad other people recognize her for her pure awesome.

Koete

This feels like Modern Family v. glee

dc20willsave

Agreed.

Koete

Yeah, Betty White peeps better watch Community.

dc20willsave

Will do.

Koete

Yeah NPH!

dc20willsave

Well, there's one win for NPH.

Koete

Glee: 2, Modern Family: 2

dc20willsave

And the important thing is that Two and a Half Men is getting left in the dust.

Koete

:yes:

dc20willsave

Heh.

Koete

George Clooney bringing the awesome.

dc20willsave

As always.

Koete (on Jim Parsons winning for best lead actor)

Nice!

dc20willsave

HOLY SHIT!

dc20willsave

That just rocks.

Koete

Suck it Glee!

dc20willsave

Heh.

Koete

Woah, NPH and Tina Fey co-presenting?

dc20willsave

I know, right?

dc20willsave

Is it bad that I so want to see this new Kristen Bell movie?

Koete

Yes. Yes it is.

dc20willsave

I'm hopelessly in love with the girl.

Koete

Me too, but not that in love with her.

dc20willsave

Jimmy Fallon, got to hell.

dc20willsave

BURN!

Koete

Hmm. Apparently Fey and NPH was too much awesomeness.

dc20willsave

I know, right?

Koete

Oh no! Glee contender!

Koete

Not a worry apparently.

dc20willsave

Edy Falco does not look happy to win.

dc20willsave

I call someone thought they were voting Eddy Falco in The Sopranos.

Koete

I can see that. Did you see the ending of the show? Hilarious!

Koete

Now we're onto the "I don't give a shit" portion.

dc20willsave

Ditto. Let's point and laugh.

Koete

I was, but they had to show Deadliest Catch.

dc20willsave

We need to cull the cast of Jersey Shore from existence or, heh, reality.

Koete

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

dc20willsave

Yeah! The one I watch won!

Koete

I guess American Idol...isn't going to Hollywood.

dc20willsave

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

dc20willsave

What did we do before David Caruso became a meme?

Koete

I can't even remember.

dc20willsave

Yet another thing we have The Soup to thank for.

Koete

Hey, Oprah, you know how you can have a killer last season? Give everyone in America a million dollars.

dc20willsave

It's like I said, her last episode she declares herself a diety and as she ascends, most of Chicago is destroyed in her holy fire.

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The Earth-2.net Chat Room Presents: Will and Chris Comment On The Emmys Part 2

dc20willsave

Apparently Drama is shooting people.

Koete

Please, drama is taking off your sunglasses.

Koete

Oh man, how many poor bastards who waited for the DVD just had the end of Lost spoiled for them?

dc20willsave

Yeah, I know. They spoiled the end of last year's season for me then.

dc20willsave

Also, love how Fallon keeps on burning Leno.

Koete

Ooh, loss for Lost.

dc20willsave

Figured.

Koete

Ooh, another one. AMC is kicking their asses.

dc20willsave

Pretty much.

dc20willsave

Remember when AMC showed movies?

Koete

C'mon, they never did. That's like saying MTV showed music videos.

dc20willsave

True that.

dc20willsave

Burn Notice is the only one of those shows I've ever seen. Well, I still watch.

Koete

I haven't seen any. But I was pulling for Christina Hendricks.

Koete (on lead actor in a drama)

This is a competitive one.

Bryan Crasnton was deserving.

dc20willsave

True that.

Koete

Hell yeah, Community bit!

Koete Yay people nobody knows!

Koete

Hell yeah John Lithgow won.

dc20willsave I think you're not an actor until you're on a Law and Order.

Koete

Most bizarre name I've ever seen.

Koete

Oh shit Breaking Bad, Dexter is taking you on.

dc20willsave

Okay, I like this guy.

Koete

Shit, was Jimmy Fallon just...funny?

dc20willsave

I think Jimmy Fallon was funnier when he was always stoned and obviously just reading the cards.

dc20willsave

But yeah, he was kinda funny.

Koete

The Billie Joe Armstrong bit specifically.

Koete

Props to that Twitter guy for tweeting what everyone was thinking.

dc20willsave

Heh. I love Tina.

Koete

Ha!

Koete

Huh. Kyra without a southern accent doesn't make me want to stab something.

dc20willsave

Ah, Colbert, I could kiss you.

Koete

I love how all of these clips are sticking it to NBC.

dc20willsave

Conan isn't actually allowed to make fun of NBC right now but everyone is doing a good job of it for him.

Koete

Yeah Joel McHale!

dc20willsave

Ah, The Tony Awards. TV few of us watch.

dc20willsave

I swear, I so want to find a way to biologically have Ricky Gervais's children.

Koete

Typical Brit. Giving everyone beer.

dc20willsave

Why do you think I want Ian to come to C2E2.

dc20willsave

Free Beer, duh.

Koete

If we can get Stavros, we can hatch a sitcom plot to get twice the free beer.

dc20willsave "Ian refused to get me a beer." "Tom called me a bloody wanker and was going to hit me with his cricket bat if you didn't buy me a beard."

Koete

Oh shit, that Human Centipede line sent me rolling.

dc20willsave

Ditto.

Koete

YEAH CONAN!

dc20willsave

HA!

Koete

Dammit, really wanted Conan to win it.

dc20willsave

Ditto but it happens.

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An exclusive preview of Preston's forthcoming (NSFW) children's books:

Preston

I want to write a children's book. Children see the world through innocent eyes. ...My book will change that.

Rachel

thirsty.....

Rachel

o.O

dc20willsave

...

Koete

Dr. Ennis.

Preston

Dr. Who-now?

dc20willsave

You want to out do Bambi in fucking Children up.

Preston

...Yes.

dc20willsave

Admirable. I blame the way I am today on Bambi.

Koete

You'd be a mash-up of Dr. Seuss and Garth Ennis.

Preston

I prefer to think of Warren Ellis.

dc20willsave

"Your Mother's a Tramp"

dc20willsave

Nobody loves you said the Dick in the Lamp."

Preston

...Yes.

Koete

"Your sister's a crack whore," said Winnie The Whiskey Bottle.

Preston

"From the top of his mountain, The Mean Old Grinch stared/ Down on the town of Who-Ville, his green ballsack bared."

dc20willsave

"They were happy before you, until that one time they were drunk. They'd run, and they'd fuck, and take drives in the hickimajunk."

SuaveStar

And took a piss in the water stream. While all of whoville had to dream.

Preston

"'He moaned most angrily, voice filled with hate./ "Fuck off, I'm too hungover, and my girlfriend's period is late."

dc20willsave

"Billy shot at his parents, they ran and they screamed. He giggled and laughed, his cock hard in his jeans."

Koete

How The Grinch Told You to Fuck Off by Uncle Preston

Preston

"So the Grinch didn't steal Christmas, he just spent the next forty years drinking himself to death./ ...I don't know, something that rhymes with death."

SuaveStar

While getting high on meth?

Koete

Sheer poetry.

Rachel

I'm just going to hide in the corner over there....

Preston

...I have a future in children's lit.

Preston

You need to read my next book, "Harry Potter and the Secret of Your Mother's a Whore and Your Father Doesn't Love You."

dc20willsave

Followed by "The Lion, The Witch, and the Your Mom Regrets Chickening Out of The Abortion."

SuaveStar

And Preston Jackson and how the fuck did I get the last name Jackson?

Preston

Followed By "Where the Wild Things Are (Commiting Rape)."

Preston

...Too far?

dc20willsave

Then Preston will produce his first animated series, "Avatar: The Last Cumbender."

Preston

Nah, it'll be Dexter's Labratory.

Preston

...But with the Serial Killer Dexter.

dc20willsave

HA! That took me a second to get

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A talk on weather blooms into an age-old fight:

* Stavros

Thank science I live in a part of the world that is actually habitable.

* Kscriv

I'm thinking a little longer

* Kscriv

hey it's habitable out here

* Venneh

When it's not winter, it's okay.

* Venneh

The problem is that winter can last till May.

*

5:55 PM

* Kscriv

and start in September

* Stavros

This is why civilisation never really took hold on that continent.

* Venneh

Hey!

* Venneh

I'm semi civilized!

* Kscriv

I like to go out on the frozen water with a wooden stick and hit stuff into a net

* Koete

You're just jealous that you don't have a Jersey Shore.

* Stavros

Please, you guys are the apes as the start of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

* Koete

More like apes in Planet of the Apes.

* Venneh

I have the best soap ever: The pervasive scent of cinnamon buns and cream cheese frosting, underscored with cheap whiskey, tobacco stains, toffee candies and delicious filthy lucre.

*

6:00 PM

* Stavros

There are pubs in my city older than your so-called nations.

* Venneh

Called Mall Santa.

* Venneh

Yeah, and the food tastes it, too.

* Koete

Yeah? Well we saved your asses in World War II.

* Stavros

Did you? Or just you just jump in late to try and save yourselves?

* Venneh

This may be an epic chat room moment.

* Stavros

Newsflash, WW2 started in 1939. Did your alarm not go off?

* Stavros

Bizarre but tasty-sounding soap there by the way.

* Koete

Oh, I'm sorry! The correct answer was "well we saved your asses in World War III!" Thanks for playing Stsvros, I hope you had fun.

* Venneh

Don't you want to smell like a Mall Santa?

* Stavros

No. Because importing Santa and Malls was the first step in many that have corrupted this jewel amongst nations.

* Venneh

Oh, you in Chicago is going to be so fun.

*

6:05 PM

* Stavros

Every time I see a Santa's Grotto it's like handing over Hong Kong all over again.

* Stavros

I'm going to be psyching myself up by listening to Churchill speeches the entire flight over.

* Venneh

Wait till you try food with FLAVOR.

* Stavros

Do you mean flavour, or do you mean chemicals?

* Stavros

Deep fried chemicals

* Venneh

Flavour.

* Venneh

Spices.

* Venneh

Not bland blandness.

* Venneh

Or putting mayo on top of scrambled eggs.

* Venneh

Trufax: My friend went into a pub in England, thought of what could be fucked up the least, got scrambled eggs.

* Stavros

Look, I'll bring a large portrait of the queen, all you have to do is kiss it and you're back in the empire, all is forgiven.

* Venneh

Scrambled eggs came with an ice cream scoop of mayo on top of it.

* Stavros

I think you'll find the mayo thing is holland.

* Kscriv

could you bring the portrait just so I feel a little more at home in a foreign country

* Koete

Mike and Dubs will be all over that.

* Venneh

And then Preston and I will get drunk and burn it.

* Stavros

Will do Kellen. At least you know which side your crumpet is buttered.

* Kscriv

I sang God Save The Queen in elementary school

*

6:10 PM

* Stavros

I sang it before I got into bed tonight

* Kscriv

And for the record hearing My Country Tis Of Thee makes me throw up a bit

* Stavros

Including the secret 5th verse about how we sank atlantis.

* Venneh

That's what Americans do:

* Venneh

We take other peoples' music and languages into the back alley and gang rape them.

* Kscriv

you have some decent anthems

* Kscriv

...when sung by the anthem singer for the Chicago Blackhawks

* Kscriv

dude gives me chills every time I hear him

* Kscriv

still pissed the Hawks are out of town suring c2e2 weekend

* Stavros

Are they a polo team?

* Kscriv

die

* Stavros

Cricket?

* Stavros

Rugby?

* Kscriv

it's like that thing Manchester United does, but faster, more scoring, generally better

* Stavros

Fox hunting?

* Stavros

Shooting pheasants?

* Koete

Drinking tea?

* Stavros

Races around the world?

* Koete

Brushing teeth with pure sugar?

* Stavros

Competitive scotch ageing?

*

6:15 PM

* Koete

Using

* Stavros

Conquering Africa?

* Koete

Using "I say" in a sentence as many times as possible?

# Stavros

Indeed, what what.

And, later:

* Venneh

I can't wait to make you all cookies for C2E2.

* Stavros

Yay cookies!

* Venneh

Quintuple chocolate, Sweet Vengeances, and Princess Daisies.

*

6:20 PM

* dc20willsave

Damn, now I have to make something for people.

* dc20willsave

I can't be outdone by a girl.

* Venneh

^^

* Venneh

I have boobs.

* Venneh

My baking power is innate.

* dc20willsave

I'mn gay.

* Professor

has entered the room

* dc20willsave

Gay outdones vagina.

* Stavros

I'll make everyone sad by undermining the crude effort at civilisation you people have made.

* dc20willsave

Vagina's quiver in the face of a gay man's cooking.

* Venneh

LIES.

* Venneh

These are basic descriptions of teh cookies:

* Stavros

There's imagery for you

* Venneh

Sweet Vengeance were originally commissioned to be refreshments at a Magic: the Gathering draft and DDR tournament. They are jokingly known as Molasses Overkill.

* Venneh

Also, I thought that the point was vaginas don't quiver for gay guys.

* Venneh

(Sorry Will.)

* dc20willsave

Hey, if it weren't for my people, your's would have been slaughtered a few years earlier during the War of Independence.

* Koete

OUCH.

* Venneh

Sorry.

* Venneh

I can be awful like that.

* Koete

I think it's time for the next in the escalating dares, this time with cooking.

* Venneh

You can kill me later, Will.

* Venneh

Misa-Misa's Quintuple-Chocolate Friendship Cookies

* dc20willsave

So don't talk about how our uncivilized ways. Our uncivilized ways helped you brits know the lay of the land that a bunch of colonists couldn't even begin to muster.

* Stavros

The war of what?

* Venneh

Princess Daisies -- cherry and white chocolate droplets

* dc20willsave

The American Revolution.

* Stavros

?

* Stavros

Oh, the rebellion!

* Stavros

Are you ever going to finish that thing? It's taking forever.

* dc20willsave

That thing where a bunch of Yanks threw a hissy fit about taxes and thumbed their nose at King George.

* Koete

I already won Will. He missed a Simpsons reference.

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The reaction to the Superbowl halftime show:

* Venneh

WEll, that was a stupid entrance.

* D.W.

I have an old soul

* Venneh

Why helo thar Tron.

* Shingen

Is this supposed to be some kind of idiotic TRON Legacy ripoff?

* Kscriv

Black Eyed Peas have a dress code at their shows?

* Venneh

I'm fine with that.

*

7:10 PM

* slothian

Hey it's Vega!!!!

* Rachel

I dunno

* Shingen

mic botch

* Venneh

They sound awful live.

* Kscriv

makes it too fucking fake looking

* D.W.

* slothian

* KnightWing

has entered the room

* Venneh

I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night -

* Venneh

FOR PACK FANS

* Kscriv

somewhere the tech para idiots in town are feeling important watching that crowd, that makes me sad

* KnightWing

Have we already made Tron jokes?

* Venneh

Oh wow, this is so stupid.

* Venneh

Many.

* KnightWing

Dangit; yes we have.

* Venneh

But we can always more.

* Venneh

*use

* slothian

autotune is clearly the biggest star in US pop music

* Venneh

No shit.

* Venneh

Goddamn/.

* Rachel

This is.... interesting.... ~cough~

* Shingen

someone end of line these guys

* Shingen

get daft punk in here

* Shingen

they actually WERE in tron legacy

* slothian

"I'm so 2008, you're so 2000-late"

* slothian

...it's 2011

* Kscriv

all of these outfits must be burned

* Venneh

Tron comes in on a jet.

* Venneh

Decapitates everyone.

* KnightWing

no, she says "3008"

* Venneh

WIN

* Shingen

THIS GUY SOUNDS HORRIBLE

* KnightWing

Or at least she used to

* D.W.

they're doing Boom Boom Pow? Seriously?

* Venneh

I think they just triggered a migraine.

* Venneh

OW.

* D.W.

They have a new album

* Kscriv

OW MY EARS

* slothian

trust K-Dubs to find fault with something I said!

* Shingen

WHAT

* Venneh

Oh.

* Venneh

Hai dere Slash.

* Kscriv

TALENT!

* slothian

wait, what?

* Kscriv

HONEST TALENT!

* Venneh

Slash.

* Shingen

I'm like "ok they're sampling from gnr"

* Venneh

Of Guns and Roses.

* Kscriv

oh God no

* Kscriv

stop this

* Venneh

Okay, I can live with this.

* KnightWing

This is so ridiculous. Someone needs to volume-up the music.

* Venneh

She's so lip-syncing.

* Venneh

They all are.

* Shingen

there's still a chance he'll el kabong her at the end

* Kscriv

we can only hope

* Shingen

If they were lip synching they'd sound better than they do

* slothian

...where did Slash go?!?

* Venneh

HE ran away while he cou.d

* Shingen

back down under the stage

* Kscriv

he ran away from this abortion as...damnit Hannah

* Shingen

counting his money

* Venneh

* Venneh

Lag, bitches.

*

7:15 PM

* Rachel

~groan~

* slothian

Vega has a nice flashy suit...

* Venneh

They're trying to tell them to turn their tape up.

* slothian

It must keep him safe when he's jogging at night

* Kscriv

back to the agin rockers next year, AC/DC please

* Kscriv

*aging

* Venneh

Wow, they're desperate.

* Shingen

naw, bring back timberlake/jackson. they learned their lesson :-p

* Kscriv

hell, Jay-Z

* slothian

oh god

* Kscriv

he's got enough safe stuff

* Venneh

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

* Kscriv

or or Journey

* Shingen

FOR PETE SAKES

* Venneh

Not fucking Usher.

* Shingen

LET IT END

* Kscriv

because we didn't have enough Auto-tune

* Shingen

If Bieber shows up I'm turning off the tv.

* Kscriv

what's next, Ke$ha

* Venneh

DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS.

* Kscriv

the shit on the pre-game show with Keith Urban was better than this shit

* Rachel

This is better than before though.... in my opinion

* slothian

I can imagine that hardened fand of the NFL are loving this

* slothian

*fans

* Venneh

V burned out!

* Venneh

No.

* Venneh

No, we will not show you the love.

* Venneh

We will burn you.

* Kscriv

Lol E.

* Venneh

Oh god, that costume.

* Shingen

Hunka Hunka Burning Love?

* Venneh

The love is not here.

* Venneh

The love is far away.

* Venneh

Far, far away.

* slothian

....wait, Obama?

* Venneh

With your autotune.

* KnightWing

I just realized. Will I Am is wearing a modified version of Olivia Wilde's Tron suit.

* Venneh

Just now?

* slothian

damn, Fergie can't sing

* Venneh

No shit.

* Venneh

She needs the autotune.

* KnightWing

I han't realized it was the female suit until now

* KnightWing

Fergie can sing alright when she

* KnightWing

's....

* Shingen

She's not BAD, she's merely average

* Venneh

....

* Venneh

NO

* Venneh

YOU DO NOT RUIN THIS SONG

*

7:20 PM

* slothian

...seriously?

* KnightWing

When she's not in freezing temperatures

* Kscriv

I read Lol

* Venneh

NOT THIS SONG

* Kscriv

I HAVE NOT HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE

* Rachel

Yeah... they went here a while ago

* Kscriv

they're indoors, how is it freezing temperatures

* D.W.

that's the thing that always amazed me about Fergie, no talent and a face like a basset hound

* D.W.

yet still famous

* slothian

indeed

* Kscriv

boxes on their heads

* Kscriv

why?

* Shingen

this halftime show started out bad and with ONE exception has been steadily declining

* Kscriv

answer is obvious of course

* Venneh

It makes them hurt less.

* slothian

then again, to become famous, don't you just pay the media to declare you to be famous???

* Venneh

What is the exception?

* Shingen

Slash

* Kscriv

YAY! IT'S OVER!!!!!!

* Kscriv

WE'RE ALL CHEERING FOR THAT TO BE FINISHED

* Shingen

ok so my tv is still on

* Shingen

cowboys and WHAT?

* Venneh

And Aliens.

* Venneh

With Harrison Ford.

* Venneh

And Craig.

* Shingen

i knew they were running out of ideas for movies

* Shingen

this is just more proof

* KnightWing

It's pretty great-looking

* Shingen

Canada commercial comment:

* Shingen

TD IS GONNA BE OPEN ON SUNDAYS!?

*

7:25 PM

* slothian

Bond is fighting aliens as a cowboy!

* slothian

they have my money

* Venneh

Amen to that.

* Venneh

Preston tried to be an extra for that.

* Shingen

ah, mvc3 on facebook hit the nail on the head for me just now

* Shingen

"Ok, be honest. Who's watching the Superbowl just to see the new Captain America trailer?"

* dc20willsave

Wow, kinda glad we watched Black Eyed Peas with mute on.

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Dubs, on his post-Borders career options:

6:25 PM

* D.W.

has entered the room

* Garfield

Hey, Dubs.

* Venneh

Hello, Dapper Destroyer.

* D.W.

The Dapper Destroyer

* D.W.

that will be my villain name

* D.W.

hello, subjects

* Garfield

Do I address as The Dapper Destroyer?

* D.W.

indeed

* Venneh

DD.

* Venneh

That's shorter.

* Garfield

Hello, The Dapper Destroyer.

* D.W.

I plan on having a laser-based offense

* Venneh

Laser pants?

* Garfield

What about defense?

* D.W.

my monocle will shoot lasers

* D.W.

my defense will be a wall of lasers

* Koete

has entered the room

* Venneh

Hey Chris

* Koete

You'll need a laser cane.

* D.W.

naturally

* Venneh

Damn, you'll really have trouble with Mirror Girl.

*

6:30 PM

* D.W.

nope, that's what the anti-mirror lasers are for

* D.W.

I call them mazers

* Venneh

Not SUPER REFLECTIVE MIRRORS

* Venneh

"Where was I? Oh yeah, disembowled."

* D.W.

they'll break at the sight of my awesomeness

* Koete

And a cup of acid tea.

* Venneh

Nah, not quite.

* D.W.

I shall have a pet tiger named Lionel

* D.W.

he will eat faces

* Venneh

This is pretty awesome.

* Venneh

Just saying.

* Koete

And also has a monocle.

* D.W.

of course

* Venneh

And a tuxedo too

* D.W.

yes, but with the sleeves ripped off

* D.W.

and no pants

* D.W.

tigers hate pants

* dc20willsave

Got it. Dubs in his boxers, ripped tuxedo, and a monocle.

* D.W.

no, the tiger

* dc20willsave

Thats...

* dc20willsave

Ah.

* D.W.

I will be dressed to the nines

* D.W.

perhaps even the tens

* dc20willsave

Okay, missed the tiger.

* D.W.

everyone misses the tiger, until it's too late

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The mods have a bit of fun with each other and the kick button:

* Kscriv

kicked Venneh

* Venneh

has entered the room

* slothian

wait....

* Venneh

Bit late there, Kell.

* dc20willsave

Kellen, why did you kick Hannah?

* slothian

Kellen!!

* Kscriv

I'm catching up

* Venneh

kicked Kscriv

* Venneh

It's fun doing this.

* dc20willsave

:roll eyes:

* slothian

heh!

* Kscriv

has entered the room

* Kscriv

kicked slothian

* Venneh

You asked for it in kind, sir, and now we are even. ^^

* Kscriv

no kidding

* Kscriv

Everybody gets THE KICK!!!

* Venneh

I don't think Ian's figured out that button yet.

* slothian

has entered the room

* Venneh

Hey Ian

* slothian

fuck you, Scrivens!!!

* Venneh

Ian, you do know how to kick, right?

* slothian

....I'd kick back but I don't know how to

* Venneh

Go over and click on the person's name, when you do, a kick or ban option will come up.

* slothian

kicked Kscriv

* slothian

ah yes!

(A Bit Later)

* Koete

Squirrel!

* Kscriv

has entered the room

* slothian

kicked Kscriv

* Venneh

We shall see.

* Kscriv

has entered the room

* slothian

carry on

* Venneh

Ian, be nice.

* dc20willsave

Ian, are you addicted to power?

* Kscriv

he's British

* Kscriv

of course he is

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