jim

Falcon #2: Well, I suppose they toned down the Nation Of Islam flavored racism this time around, but it's still a literal white devil manipulating black and brown people for his own ego. Anyway. Can anyone who'se current in 616 tell me if Galactus is evil now? Because he's in the background of a panel of powerful beings talking about their greatest successes and failures? Last I checked (and it's been a minute) he's usually portrayed as a force of nature who'se aware of what he's doing and kind of sad about it, so seeing it here in this context throws me off.

Your monthly "Christ, why did anyone think these panels were okay" Crosswind update:

Thank you all for the clarification! I know Prodigy appeared in Sotomayor University in America one, but if Eli Brady appeared in more recent issues of America, I didn't catch him.

That's what I get for not doing my research before running my mouth. My bad.

4 Kids Walk Into A Bank 5-I enjoyed the comic and had to know what came next. They nailed suspense, while also being funny. Well done, gents.

Both, really.

I wouldn't bet on that. Anyway, fingers crossed it makes tons of money so Gail Simone can do what she wants, because frankly, she's owed by the industry big time.

It was PunisherMAX.

Garth Ennis and others' Punisher: I see why people call it a classic. It is. More to write when it's not next in my mind to Falcon #1.

Falcon #1: -You don't have to be from Chicago to know that there's no one under the age of 22 that uses the phrase "old-skool". What's worse is that it's spoken over the phone, so it'd be sch anyway. -I know we grant writers amnesia license to write characters no one's seen in a while a certain way but man, Patriot's dived into a Hydra base without fear, so why the fuck is he worried about automatic weapons fire? -Sam Wilson offers the dumbest, most "PUT DOWN THE GUNS, DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE KILLING KIDS" bullshit to the gang leaders I've heard in a while. -Look, I'll grant Mobb Deep is a massive influence in NYC, but a Prodigy tribute at the U of Chicago's cathedral (the same place where heads of states speak) is a bit fucking far. Of course, the writer (Mr. Barnes) won a Peabody, so I write that and maybe there was something at Mandel Hall, but I doubt it. -Also, no one I know downloads music anymore, they stream it. -Yeah, what the actual shit is this? EDIT: This comic reads like the experience of plug and chug, where you have a formula, you put the numbers in and you wait for the calculator to spit out the answer. Patriot sounds like he's new here, which he definitively isn't. Sam Wilson suggests the most trite bullshit. Mandel Hall looks okay, I guess? Close enough for government work. Grant Park is unrecognizable. If I'm given a choice, I prefer the Christopher Priest attempt at this in Deathstroke.

Feast your eyes on Cat Staggs' work on Crosswind. This is garbage.

Destiny 1 etc: By God, this gameplay loop is incredible. By God, this series has no characters. The only noteworthy one here is just Mal from Firefly, but a robot. 500 million and all Bungie delivers is space Borderlands.

If this is the execution of her pitch, then yes, Rivera's writing is the problem. According to industry gossip, the scripts are crazy far behind, which doesn't help. More later. At bottom: America reads like an expertly crafted parody. America Chavez sounds unrecognizable. Previously, she was a character of few words, now she sounds like she's forfuturereferenceonly's smurf account. The idea of filling in her history is a good one. The execution here is bad.

Destiny 1, House Of Wolves, Dark Below, and Taken King: There are two things that would sink a game that didn't have as good shooting of half a billion dollars in investment. -No in game map. There's still only the mini-map, and this is three years (?) after Destiny 1. -Lore is still relegated to "look it up on Bungie.com" and guess what, they took that lore down. But the gameplay loop is exquisite and Bungie's complete inability to write a story I care about is a plus, because I wanted a mindless shooter who'se story I could ignore and I got one.

Mage: The Hero Denied 1: I gave it a shot, and while the art was good, the story took a little too long to get moving for my tastes. Then again, I've only read bits and pieces of Mage, so my mileage varies. Also, I'm coming in at the end so shrug emoji. Blame! Master Editions 3 and 4: No really, they're called Master Editions. At $35 a pop, Master Editions are difficult to recommend, but I got 'em for $20, which feels a lot better. They condensed the ten volume manga into six volumes.Of those six books, they reprinted them at Akira size. I'd love to see them also throw in the Blame! errata volume somewhere, but I doubt that'll happen. w/r/t content, it's still a tremendously alienating road story with grotesques, bolstered by incredible architecture. The larger page helps draw me further into the world. As a bonus (or downside, depending) there's a couple panels where it's clear Nihei-sensei took shortcuts because manga is printed at a much smaller size and no one expects the Inquisition larger size. I liked it. Des, give a couple of the grotesques a look. Wic Div 31: Someone dies in Wic Div. It's a cool death. Insexts 13: They leave on a fine fight issue. There's also sex, but that's par for the course. Ms. Kristantina's work improved tremendously over the course of the series. Ms. Bennett says it may not be the end, while Ms. Kristantina works for Karen Berger on Mata Hari (?? Mara Hati? IDK.) About Halfway Through The Land Of The Lustrous v2: Yeah. Still great. I gambled a bunch on how much I liked that first book and I'm relieved the gamble appears to pay off.

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age: Hell yeah. I missed a proper bombastic Final Fantasy ass Final Fantasy. It's a very specific itch to scratch. Also, a friend of mine remarks that they liked Fran because no one ever questions the fact that she's competent, and they didn't recall a time when any of the in game characters ogle her. The settings are sumptuous, in this case it seems like they mined Middle Eastern architecture and design to incredible effect. It's worth checking in on what happens when the imperial weight of Final Fantasy touches down. Also, we begin playing Destiny 1 soon. Expect us being snarky about Bungie's storytelling choices and in awe of their art direction in the near to medium term.

w/r/t Lobster Johnson, it seems like Dark Horse cranks out more and more of these tie-ins with diminishing returns. Also, this is a reminder to me that I need to buy the Guy Davis BPRD.

Ooku v1: Fumi Yoshinaga’s main (??) manga, about Shogun-era Japan, but with 3/4 of the male population dead. The archaic language didn’t bother me and the story compelled me. One of those “oh, the thing everyone said is good is actually good” moments. There’s some same face, because it /is/ Ms. Yoshinaga. I’m sold on the palace intrigue (female shogun arrives and upends the power structure inside the all-male harem). Ooku’s a good one. Land Of The Lustrous v1: Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Steven Universe, but I read this and immediately pre-ordered the next three volumes. The manga-ka’s style is lithe and exaggerated, bolstered by some stunning splash pages. Black Hammer 7: The team finally arrives at Kirby. I view this as a condemnation of DC and Marvel that they couldn’t figure out a way to publish a story that obviously honors their long histories. Lucifer 13: Two stories (the first by outgoing writer and Marco Rudy, the second by incoming writer and Ben Templesmith) which I enjoyed. This reminds me of a time Vertigo could reliably produce above average superhero adjacent work. The Unworthy Thor 1-5: Man, Coipel is great when you give him time. When you don’t, though… Legion of Monsters: Juan Doe and Dennis Hopeless turn in a fun mini. Years ago, it was the first time I saw Mr. Doe’s art. Returning to it, there’s a couple panels viewed from two feet behind Eliza Bloodstone’s ass which are eyeroll-y, but the collection holds up. Crosswind 3: The work Cat Stages turned in is a badly colored mess that makes it difficult to figure out where any given scene occurs. The process material in the back of the issue (props to the team for that) shows how reliant Ms. Staggs is on computer effects which she’s a novice at using. Hannah tells me she’s done a lot of IDW work, but if this is Ms. Staggs firing on all cylinders stay far, far away. Gail Simone appears to enjoy the bodyswap/fish out of water story she’s telling, which I enjoy more the more i recall of it. This, of course, ignores that the east side of Chicago is a lake and not an actual neighborhood. Redlands 2: Enjoyed it. Portions Of The Comic Book History Of Comics: Man, this is sad, funny and informative. Alan Moore’s secret origin is that he was kicked out of school for being “one of the most inept LSD dealers.” Comics! Also, the part about Stan Lee and Jack Kirby is so fucking depressing.

Trouble by Mark Millar and the Dodsons. This comic’s a stinker. It’s a misfire on almost every front. -The covers are embarrassing and everyone but the girl models are credited. Unless, of course, I missed the credit. -Mark Millar can write some gleeful dark comedy but as a romance comic writer he’s hilariously miscast. -The Dodsons draw good cheesecake, but why get the Dodsons on a project that thinks it’s for young girls? -For some reason Marvel needed it to tie into the universe somehow so the story’s about how Uncle Ben and Aunt May met. This also makes Uncle Ben canon impotent. -There’s portions of the Millar dialogue that feels incorrect. I cannot imagine any girl who has a lot of sex in high school happily saying post-coital “yeah, I’m super fucking pregnable.” They tend to be terrified of that. It’s a dumpster fire, but I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would. Detective Comics: The Black Mirror by Scott Snyder, Jock and Francesco Francavilla. This comic ISN’T a stinker. Hell, it’s great. Snyder spins a frightening, tense yarn and the two pencillers do great work. It inspired fear. East Of West 30-34 by Hickman and Dragotta. Finally, some guns go off. Hickman’s got a couple great lines, “Justice is what the strong do to the weak’ is my favorite and the series remains a well oiled clockwork machine. It’s like talking about 100 Bullets past a certain point, pieces are moving around the board and no one’s fucked up. Steady as she goes. Scarlet Witch 11 and 15 by James Robinson and Del Duca and Vanessa Del Rey. I’m kinder to Robinson than Hannah is because of the one shot format of the comic. If this was a traditional constructed as five or six issue minis, I wouldn’t’ve bought any of it, but thus far, I’ve bought six issues. I don’t think the story’s hard to follow, Scarlet Witch traces back her Romani heritage and fights off a larger threat (to the core of magic, maybe?) that only she can stop. Magdalena v1 by Tini Howard and like three other dudes, idk. Pure popcorn comics, but given Magdalena’s history in the Top Cow stable (TITS! WITH WOMEN! AND DEVILS!) this is an upgrade. I wouldn’t buy it at full price, but now I know to look for later trades at a con. I didn’t expect anything from the at bat and it hit a single.

The Heavy Metal Order tl;dr Heavy Metal ran a crazy clearance sale on their website at the end of June. Said order shipped last week, and only after three emails, a phone call and a PayPal claim. This is super shady. Druillet-Loane Sloane Something Or Other Aside from a weird 90’s LOOK WE CAN USE PHOTOGRAPHY IN COMICS THANKS TO COMPUTERS, it’s bugfuck nuts and completely beautiful. Near as I can tell, it’s about a woman who commits an interstellar train robbery to wake up a religious/resistance leader by giving the sarcophagus he’s buried in a blowjob. Euro as fuck. Milo Manara-Fatal Rendezvous Manara draws a lot of rape. Like every other “rape story, but with a twist”, the female character comes to enjoy it and there’s information at the end not included in the extortion of her body. It’s difficult to complain when it’s $2, but still left a bad taste in my mouth. Juan Giménez and Roberto Del Prado-Apocalypse Sr. Giménez elevates the story about an American Vietnam vet that sees a child blow up helicopters Akira-style and meets that person again, decades later, manipulated by Vietnamese gangsters. Sr. Giménez’s watercolors remain stunning. The story’s okay, maybe it lost something in translation, idk. Juan Giménez-Overload Juan Giménez art book. Literal stunner for the art. Multiple embarrassing misspellings. At least one unclosed parentheses I caught, there might be one more. But look. Sr. Giménez’s work carries weight, and not merely in the breasts of his female characters. His Tarot deck is fucking incredible, from The Empress to Justice to Chariot, just goddamn, Juan Giménez. Please, Humanoids, find a way to expand on this for a re-release! I’ll even copy edit it for you! For free!

The Broken Earth: The Obsidian Gate-N.K. Jemisin Yeah, this one's heavy and brutal. Hannah said there was a lot of setup and exposition, but it felt necessary and didn't slow me down. It's great. My only major criticism is that the plot requires that everyone in this post-apocalyptic society goes directly from eating animals to get their protein DIRECTLY TO cannibalism. My headcanon is that a side effect of the apocalypse that begins the trilogy is that it kills all vegetarians as well as everyone who can identify a soybean.

Bayonetta: Devil May Cry with a female lead is a reductive (and accurate) description. What isn't in that description is how well executed the character of Bayonetta is. It's a Platinum game (Nier: Auto, Metal Gear Solid: Revengence) so it's no surprise that it's flawless control wise and hella responsive to play. Hannah and I may have more to say on a podcast, and perhaps with our first guest.

Yakuza 5. The first section's got a weird kinda WWE vibe hamming up a double crossing gangster plot. The second section we tapped out of after it went full Oz on us. Fun game, and some of the special attacks look super painful (see: The Essence Of Face Grinding) sit next to minigames about being a no joke safe taxi driver. We're full weebs. Darkest Dungeon: XCOM as a dungeon crawl. There's four dungeon difficulties and the first two are okay. The third is doable, if you're lucky and the fourth I haven't even tried yet. Superlative voice acting. At this point, I just look up how to beat bosses on Reddit because getting my team to a boss is a gamble and even they get there, they're bruised and softened up for a terrifically hard enemy. If I beat this game I'll record a prayer to RNGESUS.

Hellboy Library Edition v6: The guns went off. I cried. Hellboy's a masterpiece. Generation Gone #1: Okay, I secretly liked this comic, but it's still an Ales Kot work, which means there's a painfully obvious part at the front where Mr. Kot goes "DO YOU KNOW WHAT DARPA IS? LET ME EXPLAIN IT IN A WAY THAT'S SUPER CONDESCENDING" Better than Material and Sr. Lima does great work here. Basically: DARPA funds Akira and tests it on some kids from DefCon. Dept. H v2: I echo Hannah's thoughts.

I'll hold with my standby Brian "continuity is for other people" Bendis