Dan Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Fantastic Four (2005): It's astounding to me how a film that can get some casting decisions so spectacularly incorrect (Julian McMahon is an utterly charmless Doom, Jessica Alba tries her ass off but doesn't have the presence to turn Sue into a decent role) can get others so right on a metaphysical level (I doubt there will ever be a better Ben Grimm than Michael Chiklis, and Chris Evans' turn as Johnny actually makes me forget the same guy is also Steve Rogers). The interplay between everyone is actually pretty good; Alba and Evans have a great sibling dynamic, and the Ben/Johnny rivalry couldn't possibly be any better. However, overall this is a very, very, very weak movie. The story is barely there, Doom is not a good character, and the effects are not terrific even for the time. The actor playing Reed needs to be a firestorm of charm to overcome the character's inherent wooden blandness, and I like Ioan Griffudd well enough but he's not that guy. If I were writing an FF movie, this is largely the tone I would use - lighthearted and funny but not a laugh-a-minute sitcom - but the imagination and exploration just isn't there. It's a standard superhero origin story with some performances that make it work revisiting once in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc20willsave Posted October 29, 2014 Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 Hansel and Gretel: WHY DID PEOPLE KEEP GIVING CANNON MONEY BACK IN THE 80S?!?!?! Pretty much, back in the 80s, the studio, Cannon, made a series of movies based off Fairy Tales. None of them were that good. Despite having David Warner and Cloris Leachman, this is among the worst. It's so bad that it doesn't even have a Wiki page! Films: 66 Documentaries: 2 Direct to DVD Films: 6 Short Films: 1 Rifftrax/MST3k Assisted Films: 9 Rewatch: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjoyadet Posted October 31, 2014 Report Share Posted October 31, 2014 Space Station 76 (2014): I wanted to like this movie. I waited for months to see this, and was disappointed when I finally did watch it. There were specks of funny peppered throughout the movie but I did not feel it was worth it. Liv Tyler plays the new captain of a Space Station. Her observations on asteroids is ignored by the current captain and her interactions with the people living on the stations cause ripples but are not always appreciated. It started out promising, there were some references to Silent Running, Black Hole, 2001 A Space Odyssey and even some Dark Star. I think the biggest problem is that the parts that were theoretically funny were not executed with any humor. Almost all the characters were completely unlikeable. I was hoping it would end with most of them getting their come-uppance but it didn't happen. I am glad I waited to rent it from Family Video rather than pay the $5 on demand. I feel sorry for the 23 people waiting for the copy at the local library. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted October 31, 2014 Report Share Posted October 31, 2014 Shock Treatment: The sequel/spinoff/cash-in for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is a prime example of what happens when the creators of a cult midnight success try to duplicate it: this movie manages to try way too hard to be weird and outrageous while simultaneously being boring as fuck. Some of the music manages to be not terrible, and that is literally the highest thing approximating praise I can come up with. Rik Mayall's in it, though, and I wasn't expecting that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor Posted November 1, 2014 Report Share Posted November 1, 2014 Everything about Shock Treatment is terrible. Your attempt at praise is giving it too much credit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 1, 2014 Report Share Posted November 1, 2014 Rigor Mortis: because of my novel, I haven't seen a feature film in almost two weeks. Last night, however, there needed to be tradition. Rigor Mortis is a 2013 Honk Kong film that mixes horror, fantasy, pure cinema and Wu Xia. Think Guillermo Del Toro trying to remake Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon without the cumbersome restraints like a screenplay. As a result, it is a gorgeous film. Don't expect a rational story, or even an engrossing story. But I'll be damned if it wasn't one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen. Feature Films: 140 Documentaries: 22 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc20willsave Posted November 2, 2014 Report Share Posted November 2, 2014 The Brotherhood 3: Young Demons: David DeCoteau is the best at what he does and what he does is make movie where it's the men who get objectified. The premise: High Schoolers LARP while some guy in armor chases them around. Guy in Armor chases them until he forces them to.. well, he pushes them down by their shoulders in front of him. After that point, they all seem to have went to the school's Leather Fetish Closet. It's pretty bad. During one scene, I had to remind the people I was watching with that we weren't watching gay porn 11 times. Also, a good 75% of the movie is people walking down hallways, often with no dialogue while a fog machine breaks down. The WNUF Halloween Special: If you are a fan of old VHS or local TV/Public Access, major kudos, this movie is for you. It's a fresh new way of doing the found footage film, the closest example I can think of is the British TV Film, Ghostwatch. The film is framed as someone's TV recording of an Independent stations Halloween Special in which a news anchor is exploring a murder house with a pair of psychics. What makes it work for me is the little touches. A news cast comes before with some related and unrelated parts and the film is peppered with faux commercials, some pretty awesome. Parts will get fast forwarded. The ending does get a little predictable until I kinda realized what part of it was implying, then it became a kinda crazy touch. Films: 68 Documentaries: 2 Direct to DVD Films: 6 Short Films: 1 Rifftrax/MST3k Assisted Films: 9 Rewatch: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 2, 2014 Report Share Posted November 2, 2014 Superman Apocalypse: I think this is the last of the DCAnimated films I've seen (except TDKR). Pretty good. Loved the attention Barda got. Pretty great. Overall, not among the better of the DCAU films, but nowhere near the worst. Frozen: Kinda gross that this is the second time I've seen this this year. Megan hadn't seen it and, as the new music teacher at her school, figured that she should know what half the student body is still obsessed with. The comedy worked pretty well the second time through and the songs weren't quite as draining. Megan's take away: "How come all the girls dressed as Elsa?!" Feature Films: 141 Documentaries: 22 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted November 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2014 I don't remember the kids trapped on that ski lift singing songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 2, 2014 Report Share Posted November 2, 2014 I don't remember the kids trapped on that ski lift singing songs. I loved this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjoyadet Posted November 3, 2014 Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 Fantastic Four (2005): It's astounding to me how a film that can get some casting decisions so spectacularly incorrect (Julian McMahon is an utterly charmless Doom, Jessica Alba tries her ass off but doesn't have the presence to turn Sue into a decent role) can get others so right on a metaphysical level (I doubt there will ever be a better Ben Grimm than Michael Chiklis, and Chris Evans' turn as Johnny actually makes me forget the same guy is also Steve Rogers). The interplay between everyone is actually pretty good; Alba and Evans have a great sibling dynamic, and the Ben/Johnny rivalry couldn't possibly be any better. However, overall this is a very, very, very weak movie. The story is barely there, Doom is not a good character, and the effects are not terrific even for the time. The actor playing Reed needs to be a firestorm of charm to overcome the character's inherent wooden blandness, and I like Ioan Griffudd well enough but he's not that guy. If I were writing an FF movie, this is largely the tone I would use - lighthearted and funny but not a laugh-a-minute sitcom - but the imagination and exploration just isn't there. It's a standard superhero origin story with some performances that make it work revisiting once in a while. Ioan Griffudd may not be that guy but every time I see him I only see Reed Richards. It may be because the only other movie I have seen him in was "102 Dalmatians" but when my girlfriend was talking about the ABC show "Forever" I replied. "Oh yeah, isn't that the one with Mr. Fantastic?" She did a double take. I do not think she ever saw the movies so she just assumed Ioan was my celebrity crush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 V/H/S: Viral: Pretty solid. I would say that it's about as good as the other two. I don't think it has lows as low as the others, but I'm not sure it has highs as high either. Feature Films: 142 Documentaries: 22 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted November 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 After "Safe Haven," it was inevitably downhill from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 Found footage doesn't get much better than Safe Haven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted November 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 Chronicle's the only thing on par I can think of and that's feature length. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 The first segment of Viral brings to mind Chronicle, in a lot of ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Sisters: De Palma, yo mama. Scooby Doo: Yes, the live action version. James Gunn wrote this and it's his most prominent screen credit in his career other than the top grossing film of 2014 (Guardians of the Galaxy). It's pretty bad. There's a lot of insane pot and sex references in this movie. It stars the top tier of teen stars of the era but Isla Fisher is the one who's come away with the best career. For obvious reasons: As The Palaces Burn: wow. One of the best doumentaries I've seen in a long time. Feature Films: 144 Documentaries: 23 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothian Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Who'd have thought that Isla Fisher would have gone on to have a greater career than Matthew Lillard or Freddie Prinze Jr.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted November 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Sisters: De Palma, yo mama. One of the best pieces of film criticism in film form ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc20willsave Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Detention: What the fuck? I mean, really, what the literal fuck? A horror comedy, I have no clue if I like this or scream. A slightly fucked up plot involving time travel, a slasher dressed as a fictional film slasher, and some other, just completely random elements. I... I have no clue what the fuck I watched. Really. I think they were going for absurdest comedy but in a day where I watched Too Many Cooks twice, it doesn't quite cut it. Films: 69 Documentaries: 2 Direct to DVD Films: 6 Short Films: 1 Rifftrax/MST3k Assisted Films: 9 Rewatch: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted November 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Ha. My enthusiasm's come down a bit since I've talked with some friends about it, but I still really like Detention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 Mr. Jones: This movie is way better than the Counting Crows song of the same name. Feature Films: 145 Documentaries: 23 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 11, 2014 Report Share Posted November 11, 2014 Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues: probably the most insane American film I've ever seen. True bizarro cinema. Feature Films: 146 Documentaries: 23 Shorts: 20 Rewatches: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted November 11, 2014 Report Share Posted November 11, 2014 9to5: A documentary dealing with the San Fernando Valley adult film industry. This is extremely graphic. However, it's incredibly fascinating. A documentary crew spent three years filming this, and as such it's a very warts-and-all depiction of what goes on in this industry, interacting with actors, producers, directors, and agents, at pretty much every level. It maintains a critical distance and doesn't tell the viewer what to think, but there is very clearly a lot wrong here. For every person who appears to have some semblance of their shit together, there are several (all of them women) who begin the movie clearly damaged, and are utterly, irrevocably broken by the end. The men, meanwhile, run the gamut from merely opportunistic and sleazy to outright monsters. It's very hard to watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted November 11, 2014 Report Share Posted November 11, 2014 Heh..."warts and all"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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