Every film you've watched in 2014


Koete

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So, did V'Ger create the Borg or what?

The Borg predate V'Ger by millennia, so it would be the other way around. V'Ger went to a machine home world and was rebuilt, which is interpreted in some of the novels to be that V'Ger went to the Borg homeworld, was assimilated, then somehow freed from the collective and left to return to Earth.

In Star Trek Online, you can fight gigantic Borg ships that are literally just gigantic green V'Gers. It's pretty cool.

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The Thin Blue Line-Errol Morris' documentary of one of the most compelling and intense stories of a murdered cop ever, told in the MOST FUCKING BORING WAY IMAGINABLE!!! What a boring pile of shit. I will never understand why this is so widely lauded. The only entertaining part of the film is when a guy who talks about how he has total recall and then immediately goes on to doubt whether or not the car he saw was blue. That was some good shit. But it's buried in this clinical mess.

Feature Films: 31

Documentaries: 9

Shorts: 13

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I've give that awesome theme it gave us for TNG and the creepy music when the Enterprise approaches V-Gur, but why this one?

Remember that it had been 10 years since Star Trek TOS had gone off the air. You go to see this movie to re-enter this universe after a decade of nothing (well except TAS) and it's just perfect. Kirk is getting put back in charge of the Enterprise, you get reintroduced to all the old characters and you are reminded how much you've missed them. They are nostalgic and so are you, plus I love how it takes it's time pulling you back in. It's similar to the Abrams reboot except done with more class and a better understanding for what made the old show great.

I also think the story is pretty fascinating, a Star Trek story with some actual subtext and voice, imagine that. And nothing beats that Goldsmith score. It's not for everyone but I love it.

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The Thin Blue Line-Errol Morris' documentary of one of the most compelling and intense stories of a murdered cop ever, told in the MOST FUCKING BORING WAY IMAGINABLE!!! What a boring pile of shit. I will never understand why this is so widely lauded. The only entertaining part of the film is when a guy who talks about how he has total recall and then immediately goes on to doubt whether or not the car he saw was blue. That was some good shit. But it's buried in this clinical mess.

Are you sure people didn't mix this up with the much beloved "The Thin Blue Line" sitcom starring Rowan Atkinson? Because, it seems like a very easy mistake to make.

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Don't be ridiculous. Nobody likes Rowan Atkinson.

http://www.earth-2.net/theshow/episodes/e2ts_697.mp3

That being said, I've yet come across anything he's said or done half as good since 1989. And even when he's good, it's because he's part of an ensemble rather than trying to bear the weight and comedy of a scene all by himself.

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The Wind Rises (2013) directed by Hayao Miyazaki

A beautiful film with some of the best animation ever put on the big screen. It doesn't have a chance against Frozen but I'm pulling for this one tonight.

Feature Films: 7

Documentaries: 2

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The Cutting Edge - This was one of the five movies my UPN station would play every single weekend. For whatever reason it got stuck in my head this week, so I gave it a rewatch. There are so many montages in this thing. I think at one point I got a montage inside a montage. Also, this is not good by any standards.

Demolition Man - Another UPN weekly classic. Still as awesome as ever.

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Blackfish-Whew...sad. Just watched it with my History Through Film 12 course. Yikes. There's some tense and horrific imagery there. The testimony from the former trainers is pretty powerful, but it's the former runners of the local Sealand where Tillikum came from that was the most powerful to me.

Feature Films: 31

Documentaries: 10

Shorts: 13

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The Voyeur-Directed by Tinto Brass of Caligula and Salon Kitty fame, this one is a beautifully shot and story-driven softcore porn. Which, judging by his oeuvre, is not necessarily a surprise. It looks like a movie from 1981 with a huge budget. It was made in 1994. Brass does one thing and does it well. Too much peen to be completely engrossing, but still an interesting story of obsession and despair set against the backdrop of ass. They should put that shit on the DVD cover!

Feature Films: 32

Documentaries: 10

Shorts: 13

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Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-It's remarkable how well this holds up. I bought the Blu Ray in Disneyland. I don't think they did much of an upgrade, but the film is still great. Hoskins carries the entire thing brilliantly and Judge Doom has to be one of the best movie villains of all time. That moment with the toon shoe? <shudder> A really great film noir detective story too. Old Hollywood gumshoe stuff with actual cartoon characters. Great!
Feature Films: 34
Documentaries: 10
Shorts: 13
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IN FEAR: upcomingDM
300: RISE OF THE EMPIRE: I was going to review this on DM, but that fell through. It's an interesting companion piece to 300, but it isn't as good. Perhaps you've seen the pony's one trick, but also, the historical story is better. I will say that adding Eva Green to the film was great. Her "battle" with Themistokles was great. Not a
Feature Films: 36
Documentaries: 10
Shorts: 13
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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - Fun. And I actually noticed a few jokes that I never picked up on before. Also, I want a Billy the Kid/Socrates movie. Them hitting on women in the food court is my favorite part of the movie.

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - Not as much fun. I get what they were doing with the lighting, but at least on my DVD copy, it looked horrible. Best part of the movie is Death. I love that guy.

The Girl Next Door - For some reason, this movie is on my self. I didn't buy it. My roommate claims it is not his. I have no idea where it came from. I have less idea why I decided to watch this during a power outage. I do know that it sucked and I would have been better off sitting in powerless dark trying to read.

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The Girl Next Door - For some reason, this movie is on my self. I didn't buy it. My roommate claims it is not his. I have no idea where it came from. I have less idea why I decided to watch this during a power outage. I do know that it sucked and I would have been better off sitting in powerless dark trying to read.

Which one? The sex comedy or the intense and brutal thriller? If it's the sex comedy, I understand. I disagree, but I will relent that it's based solely on the fact that Elisha Cuthbert. Just that. Elisha Cuthbert.

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Spellbound: A good enough documentary about children in The National Spelling Bee. There are some definite obsessive compulsive kids here, some parents who push their kids too hard, and some well-adjusted people making the most out of things.

TMNT: Cute enough and better than a couple other films in the series but I'll fully admit that it showed major signs that the series needed a reboot at this point. Too bad that the reboot we're getting has Megan Fox in it...

Bloodrayne: Watched it because the Tirades are reviewing it and I feel like I can't properly feedback a movie if I skipped it. This movie sucks. The end.

Thor: The Dark World: I look at the Thor movies in the Marvel Movieverse as being fantasy films, not super-hero flicks. That's how they've been built. It's kinda why Thor in The Avengers was a little off-putting. The character works much better in his own movies. That said, this might as well be The Loki Show because any scene with him in it immediately belongs to him and him alone.

Hobgoblins: A really shitty Gremlins knock-off that I don't think I could have endured if it wasn't for Mystery Science Theater 3000. One of the better episodes of the series looking at a really shitty movie. I mean, dead God, I think some of the characters were meant to be taken seriously but most were just caricatures.

Birdemic: Watched the Rifftrax Live version. There's something charming about the film despite being horrendously bad. Maybe it's the hour of unnecesary love story that happens at the beginning. Maybe it's all of those terrible green-screen effects. Who knows? Point is, it's a great bad movie that I'm sure the sequel ruins.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: As I said in the review on The Show, Better than the first one. It's too bad that it's a classic sequel in that you can't watch the second one without watching the first. That said, they flesh out the world much better and it's just all together more satisfying. With the exception of that ending.

Veronica Mars: I was debating if I wanted to do a big long segment on this. I still might. I liked it. It did feel like a longer episode of the show and parts of it were totally fan service but, overall, it's satisfying. I do believe it is partially new watcher friendly. There is the occasional off-handed reference to something that happened on the show and the ending did seem a little too tidy but, overall, a good watch and worth the couple of bucks I threw in.

Films: 11

Documentaries: 1

Direct to DVD Films: 3

Rifftrax/MST3k Assisted Films: 4

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