Every Film You've Watched in 2015


dc20willsave

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Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2015): Asylum Films without any of the self-awareness, Cannon Films was a B-movie production company active in the 1970s and 80s that specialized in making movies that were a lot like that other movie you liked, only far cheaper and with way more boobs. Headed by Menachem Golan and Yoram Globus, two serious characters that no one can talk about without doing an impression, their M.O. was to make a shit-ton of no-budget movies, release them, and if one of them somehow managed to hit, use the profits to continue making shit-tons of no-budget movies. The 80s saw them launching the careers of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, and gifting the populace with such gems as Over the Top, a Sylvester Stallone movie about arm wrestling truck drivers, Breakin', the definitive breakdancing opus, and Masters of the Universe, a movie that apparently made Stallone look at Dolph Lundgren and ask the director "You mean you actually gave that guy lines?" As someone who actually paid to see Superman IV: The Quest for Peace in the theaters, I had a fucking ball with this thing.

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Vampire in Brooklyn:

One of those movies I had been meaning to get around to watch for years, with Eddie Murphy and Angela Bassett. Written by Charlie Murphy and Directed by Wes Craven, this is meant to be a "horror-comedy" that fails spectacularly at both. It's too campy to be any type of scary, and too hi-jinksy to be any kind of intentional funny. It's not a good movie...

...and yet, by the end I had a lot of fun with it. Murphy's main character (as he does play with makeup in two additional roles) is played pretty straight throughout and although he's supposed to be from the Caribbean he sounds exactly like he did in Coming to America. That said he's pretty good when he takes the role seriously when the scenes call for it. He's teamed with a sidekick in the form of Kardeem Hardison, who's basically Rob Schnieder from Judge Dredd. It's interesting tho, knowing him from A Different World I never expected him to be an overtly comedic actor. Much of the laughs I did have came from John Witherspoon, who plays a great John Witherspoon as usual in everything he does. Bassett plays a haunted cop partnered with Allen Payne who looks like the future son of Drake and Donald Glover. Both are more than capable actors who bring a minimal degree of verisimilitude to their straight roles. Bassett's eventually turned into a vampire and though her scenes definitely get campy she never loses her dignity. She really is a terrific actress. I was kind of hanging in there in the middle just to get it over with, but by the end of the film I was really enjoying it, just on the basis of some of the wacky shit this movie was making these actors be apart in. It's not technically good, but it's a very enjoyable watch.

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I saw that it's on Netflix at the end of next month. Looking forward to watching it. I love to rag on Cannon but they always had some charm to them.

They were also, along with Larry Hama and Frank Miller, basically responsible for the obsession pop culture had with ninjas in the mid-80s.

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I saw that it's on Netflix at the end of next month. Looking forward to watching it. I love to rag on Cannon but they always had some charm to them.

They were also, along with Larry Hama and Frank Miller, basically responsible for the obsession pop culture had with ninjas in the mid-80s.

Cannon Films basically raised me. I'm very interested in that doc.

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Evil Dead: yes, the remake. As a remake, it might actually be better than the original. It is not, however, better than the first remake of the original: Evil Dead 2. That movie is a fucking classic. This was solid and had some good scares, but was pretty unnecessary because all it really changed from the original was the tone.

ABCs of Death 2: I was actually shocked how good this was. Once you get to F or G, there are already more memorable and quality short films than the first film. In fact, there are only like three stinkers, in my opinion. Very impressed. Oddly enough, there isn't one that's as good as D is for Dog, the high point of the first film.

Feature Films: 167

Documentaries: 13

Short films: 7

Rewatches: 3

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Evil Dead: yes, the remake. As a remake, it might actually be better than the original. It is not, however, better than the first remake of the original: Evil Dead 2. That movie is a fucking classic. This was solid and had some good scares, but was pretty unnecessary because all it really changed from the original was the tone.

Basically, as a friend of mine once told me, and I agree with it, is that, if that film hadn't been called Evil Dead, it would have been a lot better.

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Asterix - Mansion of the Gods: a very serviceable computer animated movie based on the french comic. Pretty funny in parts.

Dixie Ray-Hollywood Star: I have a subscription to Exploitation.Tv which is basically Netflix for vintage sleaze, the best prints of public domain, exploitation, grindhouse and horror. This one is basically an X-Rated Chinatown meets Hollywood Babylon. 

Feature Films: 169

Documentaries: 13

Short films: 7

Rewatches: 3

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From this weekend's Halloween Night (and also Hangover Sunday)

Bless The Child: Holy crap this movie. Kim Bassinger stars as the aunt of an austic child who is trying to recover said child from a Satanic Cult that totally isn't Scientology. Also, the kid is psychic/Jesus or something I guess. It's bad and there are multiple cases where we have literal Deus Ex Machinas showing up to keep the plot moving. I am constantly reminded that Kim Bassinger's role in LA Confidential might have been a fluke. Oh sure, she has some good roles here and there but then she can barely be called upon to do her job here. Then you have Christini Ricci in a thankless role as a former junkie/cultist who delivers some dumb exposition before getting killed. Seriously: "Eric has this religion only it's more like the opposite of religion." What the hell does that line even mean?

Plan 9 From Outer Space: The fun thing to do with this movie is to count how many days pass in it. It's close to a week during once chase scene alone. How can you tell? Well, because people keep running into a cemetery where it's night and then they run back outside where it's the middle of the day. I still love it. It's cheesy Ed Wood goodness at it's best.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Eternal: I was drunk and wanted to watch something depressing with good music. I went for this. I think I've watched it before this year.

The Mighty Ducks: Once again, flipping through channels, there it is. Tons of fun. Also, keeping with what Dan said back in the 10th Anniversary show, you can tell this is a kid's movie from the 90s.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters: Holy crap, this is one of the best of the DVD DC animated films. Outsde of some excellent voice work and some pretty good visuals, it is often intense with no sign of letting up. It helps that this version of the League is so interestingly put together. Of course a guy experimenting with bats who becomes a vampire would name himself Batman. The idea of Superman being raised by illegal immigrants is beautiful. Finally, I like this Wonder Woman. Only complaint is that, at times, it does feel like this is an uncompromisingly grim dark world (see how things are handled on Apokolyps) but still, it works for the League we got. Apparently, we're getting ten more shorts on this league next year. I would be happy to see a sequel.

Feature Films: 85
Direct to DVD: 5
Made-For-TV: 2

Repeats: 7
Riff-Trax Assisted: 12

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Justice League: Gods and Monsters: Holy crap, this is one of the best of the DVD DC animated films. Outsde of some excellent voice work and some pretty good visuals, it is often intense with no sign of letting up. It helps that this version of the League is so interestingly put together. Of course a guy experimenting with bats who becomes a vampire would name himself Batman. The idea of Superman being raised by illegal immigrants is beautiful. Finally, I like this Wonder Woman. Only complaint is that, at times, it does feel like this is an uncompromisingly grim dark world (see how things are handled on Apokolyps) but still, it works for the League we got. Apparently, we're getting ten more shorts on this league next year. I would be happy to see a sequel.

 

They did comic one-shots for all three of them and a 4 issue mini series too. The Bats one-shot was particularly dark. I am not normally a fan of grimdark but this world I want to see a lot more of. And who wouldn't love a Vampire Batman being voiced by Dexter Morgan?

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Hotel Transylvania 2: Good God this was awful. The first one was pretty good, but this is terrible. My sons said they liked it, but I could tell they didn't enjoy it immensely, as the first film was full of laughs. This was not. 

Feature Films: 171

Documentaries: 13

Short films: 8

Rewatches: 3

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