Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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Unbreakable : I came in knowing what the twist was and still enjoyed the movie. I loved the imagery like the glossy purple wrapping on the  limited edition comic book, and later Mr. Glass wears purple under a glossy coat and names his gallery "Limited Edition." I wish Bruce Willis was written to be more likeable. Stay tuned for a drawing of Mr. Glass walking alongside Mace Windu, Valentine, Dr. Octopus and Nick Fury.

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The Mummy (1999): or, What If Raiders of the Lost Ark knew precisely how silly it intrinsically was?

This was derided for years as a deeply stupid, empty nothing of a movie, and that's not totally wrong, but in recent years (especially since the recent Tom Cruise debacle) it's had something of a reappraisal. Yeah, you don't want to think about it too hard, but it's a hellishly fun couple of hours with a great cast, entertaining setpieces, and interesting use of CGI at a time when movies were really figuring out how to use it well. Brendan Fraser is great in this; he really suffered from Alec Baldwin Syndrome, in that he was a charismatic character actor with serious comedic chops trapped in the body of a leading man, so it was always very hard to take him seriously in lead roles (and he never got Baldwin's second act, which is a shame; Gods and Monsters alone showed how talented the guy is), but he's just about perfect in this. And John Hannah just about walks away with the movie.

Seriously fun stuff. Glad I ran across it.

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The Crow (1994): Honestly better than I remembered. It feels like a somewhat higher-budgeted-than-average direct to video flick, but it looks great, and Brandon Lee is terrific. It's also a lot funnier than I remembered it being. But most of all, Ernie Hudson is on fucking fire.

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Straight Outta Compton: As someone largely unfamiliar with the gangsta rap scene, especially the West Coast/LA scene of the late 80s and early 90s, I found this movie to be both entertaining and pretty enlightening. Plus, the music was pretty good too. 

Films Watched: 71

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On 6/25/2017 at 4:56 AM, slothian said:

Awesome movie - it's on the Pulp Diction slate at some point. 

Make it so.

MASH: Wow. It has great cast and it's not hard to see why it launched a TV show, but GOOD GOD -- there are so many things in this film that would not fly (or shouldn't be allowed to fly) in films made today.

 

Especially Hot Lips being publicly slut-shammed -- TWICE -- and Painless being "cured".

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Saying "MASH has some problematic elements" is like me saying "I have some concerns about the state of my government at the moment"; the movie is riddled with stuff that would never fly in 2017 and I'm not sure there's a single scene without something in it that could be considered objectionable. (Trapper John got his nickname from that time he sexually assaulted someone! Ho ho! We have fun!)

While I'm not defending the Painless scene - believe me, I'm not - I don't see it as conversion, because it's pretty obvious he's not gay, and that everyone knows he's just wildly overreacting to a stupid article he read "explaining" why he has so much trouble keeping his dick out of women.

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X-Men: Apocalypse: It's not the worst X-Men movie ever but it's far from the best.

Moana: Since, I would say The Princess and The Frog, We've been in what I like to think of as The Disney Revival. It's been a series of films where you can't help but think that the next one can't be better than the last and you are usually wrong. Outside of just being a beautiful film, and this is coming from the guy who usually doesn't care for computer animation, it's terrifically acted and well-written. Then you have the music. Jesus Christ, this is probably the best music in a Disney film since probably the 90s.

The Babadook: I've been meaning to watch this and, with the film's recent embrace by the LGBT comminunity for some weird reason, I figured, sure. What the hell. It's a pretty solid film. It's not scary but I don't think it's meant to be. It's more thriller to be honest.

Odd Thomas: Another one that I've been meaning to watch. I didn't at first because the cover art was generic. Then I avoided it because of the death of Anton Yelchin. So, ended up throwing it on and it's okay. His charisma is what holds it together because, otherwise, the plot is pretty generic. Like, is there a single person in this town that doesn't realize he's psychic except the villains?

Films: 81
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 3

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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14 hours ago, Dan said:

Saying "MASH has some problematic elements" is like me saying "I have some concerns about the state of my government at the moment"; the movie is riddled with stuff that would never fly in 2017 and I'm not sure there's a single scene without something in it that could be considered objectionable. (Trapper John got his nickname from that time he sexually assaulted someone! Ho ho! We have fun!)

While I'm not defending the Painless scene - believe me, I'm not - I don't see it as conversion, because it's pretty obvious he's not gay, and that everyone knows he's just wildly overreacting to a stupid article he read "explaining" why he has so much trouble keeping his dick out of women.

I mean...there's a black guy whose name is "Spearchucker."

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Dark City : The man that lent the movie to me suggested that I mute the movie until you get to the scene of Kiefer Sutherland looking at his watch. I did and having the exposition dump muted dramatically increased the quality of the movie. I did not expect to love this movie as much as I did. I love that a 90's dark movie had a predominately 1940's noir theme, good idea casting Jennifer Connelly as the female lead. It was nice seeing Rufus Sewell playing the hero for once. This movie was great!

eXistenZ : My first David Cronenberg movie.  All throughout the movie there are hints of the big reveal at the end. I found the commentary on religion interesting, maybe because it wasn't blatant and can be interpreted in different ways. There effects were great in the fact that they were queasy but you couldn't look away. There was even a psych out moment in the end where you think you are witnessing more body horror but it turns out to be an unconventional way of concealing weapons.

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The Legend of Tarzan: Profoundly unimpressive. Does more telling than showing, wastes a talented cast, and doesn't stand up to any historical scrutiny (e.g. Jim Broadbent was dressed as the wrong Prime Minister). Even the scenes with the animals were lackluster. Any scene where a dude fights a gorilla or a thousand wildebeest stampede over a bunch of colonial bastards should be amazing, but somehow, they're kinda dull.  

David Yates was so the wrong director for this. His style is too subdued for its own good here. 

O, and the white savior thing. It's still kicking around. Plus, Jane's still a damsel in distress. Based on Dan and Wendee's review of A Princess of Mars, I'm sure this is true to the spirit of Edgar Rice Burroughs' novels, and not in a good way.

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Transformers: The Last Knight: Not the worst in the series but it such a convoluted mess with enough plot holes that you can barely see the movie through them.

Also, has it become normal for movies to randomly change aspect ratios between edits? Is this a thing now?

Films: 82
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 3

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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The Belko Experiment: jesus, almost 2 weeks without watching a movie! That's what happens when you need to bank 6 episodes of your podcast, I guess. Anyway, review forthcoming because you know I wouldn't be doing anything else than working on upcoming episodes of Dread media right now.

Features: 70

Shorts: 22

Documentaries: 5

Rewatches: 0

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