Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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Beatrice at Dinner: Starring Salma Hayek and John Lithgow

Intriguing film for the first 2/3rds concerning racial, cultural and class differences that is completely ruined by its pretentious and imbecilic ending. Unfortunate, but don't waste your time. 

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Movies I watched it on the plane to London:

A Cure for Wellness: well, holy fuck if THAT wasn't directly up my alley. Woman behind me had a kid with her that was like 6 so I hope she was't watching through the seats. Hahahaha.

Split: Part delightful surprise, part a little too goofy. I know James MacAvoy is being lauded for this but I think the girl from The VVitch was even better than him. However, the best parts of the movie by far are the conversations he has with his therapist.

Fist Fight: this was totally fucking dumb, but kind of funny at parts. A small part of the plot is that a lot of teachers are being fired and that's usually a thing where viewers are like "damn, that's bad," and especially teachers think that. But, watching this, I'm like "damn, this all takes place in one day? Are these teachers ever going to step into a classroom?"

Airplane movies over.

Nobody Speak: The Trials of the Free Press: a Netflix doc positing the Hulk Hogan/Gawker lawsuit as the beginning of the eradication of free press in America. I liked it but I feel like I should be angrier.

Features: 73

Shorts: 22

Documentaries: 6

Rewatches: 0

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Okja: A mostly good but not-quite-great film. The first and last half hour or so are extremely strong and the superpig herself is marvelous, but the middle hour is hamstrung by Jake Gyllenhaal's character (who looks and acts the lovechild of Jim Carrey's Riddler and Tobias Fünke) and the music, which during the big chase scene sounds as though it was taken from an Italian comedy film. Good performances from the lead child actress and most of the other main cast. Definitely worth your time, but not for the faint of heart.

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Casting JonBenet: I'ma huge fan of weirdo documentaries and this is another one that ticks that box. I thought it would be an examination of the case but really it's a lot like Room 237 in that the film casts stars of a Lifetime-style movie based on the murder but instead of really doing the film, they merely interview all their "stars" about what they thought happened as well as filming some reenactments. I love that people will rail against violence in video games and movies and complain about Satanic themes in heavy metal, but this kind of shit gets a total pass, and even some critical splendour. This is nothing but crass and vile fantasy murder porn over a dead little girl by people from her community. But I'll be damned if it isn't entertaining as fuck.

Features: 73

Shorts: 22

Documentaries: 7

Rewatches: 0

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Wonder Woman: Since two of my roomies hadn't seen it.

Police Academy: This was that series I watched all the time when I was younger. It's definitely a product of it's time and some of the humor is problematic to say the least. Still, it's also interesting because after this one, the series slowly went from being from being a police themed Meatballs to more slapsticky fare.

The Mighty Ducks: It was on Netflix. I figured, sure, it'll be a good movie to watch during the afternoon.

Flash Gordon: It was on one of the random multiplex channels so sure, why the fuck not?

Films: 85
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 4

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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Sunshine: I would say that my science brain screamed in agony about how in forty years we will have to fly a spaceship full of nukes into the sun in order to restart it. But the art of the movie was so pretty that my science brain was able to tap out in favor of my artistic mind. Although some of the film edits with the villain were jerky and disorienting there was a great use of color. It also had a great score with "Adagio in D Minor" which many people remember as the music that played in KickAss when hit girl came to the rescue. I like my mothers comment near the conclusion of "They are all going to get Rogue One'd."

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On 6/24/2017 at 4:13 PM, Rjoyadet said:

Unbreakable : I came in knowing what the twist was and still enjoyed the movie. I loved the imagery like the glossy purple wrapping on the  limited edition comic book, and later Mr. Glass wears purple under a glossy coat and names his gallery "Limited Edition." I wish Bruce Willis was written to be more likeable. Stay tuned for a drawing of Mr. Glass walking alongside Mace Windu, Valentine, Dr. Octopus and Nick Fury.

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Get Out: I tend to multi-task when I watch movies. This is one of the rare films that I needed to give my full attention. It's a good horror film. It's a good comedy. It's good social commentary. It's so fucking good.

This is The End: Meh. It's an SNL sketch that got stretched out over an hour and a half.

Films: 87
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 4

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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John Carpenter's The Thing: Another incredible movie that lives up to its hype. How could people not have loved this when it first came out? 

Big Trouble in Little China: I need to watch this again because I had no idea what I was supposed to be feeling throughout. I get (and like) the bait-and-switch of Jack Burton and Wang's roles in the film, but once the magic crap started happening it was too much of a whiplash. And for most of the time, I wasn't sure how offended I should've been at a lot of the Asian stuff. 

Spider-Man: Homecoming (the second time): See here.

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From what I've heard, people didn't like it because it was a remake of The Thing From Another World from 1951. I'm a big fan of Howard Hawks, who produced and definitely had some directorial influence on it, and it has some some nice overlapping dialogue and use of shadows to hide the alien, but the remake is superior in every way. 

I love Carpenter, but if I had to pick one of his movies that was overrated, it would be Big Trouble. It's not bad, but I just don't see it on the level of his best works. 

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Harry Potter and The Grail of Fire: or whatever the title is. This is the second or third time I've seen this movie because it's my kids' favourite. I wanted to watch a Harry Potter film with them after going to the WB Harry Potter Studio Tour (which was admittedly pretty awesome) and we had this one and Order of the Phoenix and Prisoner of Azkaban to choose from. I wanted either of one of those as they're clearly much more up my alley and they're also not one of the 2 Potter films that I actually have seen. Next time we'll look at one of those. This was alright. Some bright moments, but I'm still not entirely sold. I will actively avoid watching this again.

Features: 74

Shorts: 22

Documentaries: 7

Rewatches: 0

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