Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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The Mack: Now this was a great movie. Whereas Superfly was deeply confused in going about portraying an anti-drug film by having an ungodly amount of drug endorsement throughout the movie, this was clearly a cautionary tale with a very sympathetic character in the middle. Richard Pryor is in this and gives a really soulful, heavy performance. It's a dark, serious movie peppered with moments of unintentional hilarity from the outright wackyness of the pimp life (Pretty Tony in general cracked me up) and weird-ass scenes straight out of a comic book. At one point Goldie indoctrinates his women by literally hypnotizing them as though he were Hugo Strange. One action scene involves guns in an accordion like is a Moore-era James Bond film. Those moments kept the film lively in hindsight, but make no mistake that this is a straightforward tale about destiny and morality. 

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Blade Runner 2049: One of the best shot, most visually stunning films I've seen all year. It's also one of the slowest films I've seen ever. Long moments of silence in scenes with characters occupying space. But this is a really good film that demands to be seen on the biggest screen possible. Terrific score and awesome, if brief, action sequences. Was talking to Harry and we both wish Ghost in the Shell was shot like this.

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Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning: Jesus Christ. Its definitely the worst of the series so far. Biggest fault outside of a rather out of nowhere mystery plot: The weird out of nowhere humor. Like, no one was likable but it's made worse when things are trying to be funny and you can't take a horror film serious. It just becomes a cartoon then.

Addams Family Values: Christina Ricci is just plain wonderful. Only real flaw to the movie is that so much of the plot centers on designated villain syndrome. You'd think the Addamses would fully embrace having a serial killer in the family,

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives: Aka, where the series gets supernatural. Well, moreso. I know I complained about the humor in Part V but the series is embracing it at this point so it's forgivable.  Still not the best in the series but it does make Jason formidable again after being killed by a 12-year old.

The Babysitter: 2017  horror comedy about a kid finding out his babysitter is part of a murder cult. It's good. The kid is actually not bad and it has some interesting scenes.

The Midnight Meat Train: The sheer amount of gore shouldn't be a surprise considering the title.  I enjoyed it quite a bit.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Still not sure if this is a Christmas or Halloween movie. Does it matter? It's good.

Films: 134
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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What We Do in the Shadows: A mockumentary about a group of Vampire Roommates. Funny though it has a few moments where it starts to get iffy about the lines between being a standard film or mockumentary.

Event Horizon: It's taken me years to get around to watching this movie. It's alternatively horrific and puzzling. It feels like it could use some more meat on it's bones but, at the same time, too much more would probably make the film suffer from fatigue.

No One Lives: The director also did The Midnight Meat Train so I figured I would give this a chance. Not making that mistake again. My first clue should have been the fact it was a WWE film. My second should have been Brodus Clay. Instead, we got a horror film that suffers the crime of being boring. You know Luke Evans's character is unhinged to begin with but he has like no charisma here so you never feel a reason to root for him as he kills a gang that tried to rob him and are indirectly responsible for his girlfriend's death. Really, scenes just feel like, "Oh, how is this person going to mess up and get killed here?" There's never any tension or dread. It's just... bad.

Films: 137
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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Genius Loci: feature for the festival

An Open Secret: a documentary free on Youtube about Hollywood pedophilia. I'm not one of those crazy Conservative "Hollywood is full of sinners and evil people" people as pedophilia is everywhere including your local school and church. But this movie clearly tells us that Bryan Singer, Gary Goddard and others have shit to answer to. Like the end of a baseball bat things to answer to. Infuriating.

Features: 128

Shorts: 124

Documentaries: 10

Rewatches: 1

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Batman vs. Two-Face: Adam West's final role is his most iconic. There's something to be said about that which involves discussions of fate. Like the last movie however, he can't help but sound like an 88 year old man. It's unfortunately distracting at the start, but eventually you get used to it. Burt Ward and Julie Newmar are both great, and they even snuck in Lee Meriwether.  But William Shatner is terrific as Harvey Dent/Two Face. His smooth-as-silk, charming Kirk persona made for an oily Dent and his Two Face voice was awesomely evil. There are highlighted scenes with some of the made up villains from the 60s show, like King Tut and Bookworm which are cool. The heavy hitters appear at the beginning and at the end, and are pretty dang funny at the end. It's a toss-up between which is better, this or the Return of the Caped Crusaders. This is more earnest and has less goofy gags, but I think I enjoyed it more because the gags could get a little distracting at times. 

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Kingsmen: The Golden Circle: I'm still stirring my thoughts for CBFR, as I'm really mixed on it. I was having fun a lot of the time, but it' definitely a checklist of inferior sequel hallmarks. I think my biggest takeaway will be that it felt more like a third movie in a trilogy rather than a direct sequel, and that deeply negated much of the impact of what happened in it. 

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Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood: Freddy vs Carrie basically. They went out of their way to give us unlikable victims in this one. That said, Kane Hodder is an excellent Jason and Jesus Christ is this the best Jason make-up in the series or what? Just creepy as all fuck.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan: After all the energy the last one gave me, this one pissed it all away. First there's all that time they spend on the boat, the leaps in logic (how did Jason sail a boat from Crystal Lake to the Ocean again?), and the fact that Jason looks cheap again. And then it just goes on and on.

John Dies At the End: Weird and funny.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday: It's not as bad as Part VIII but it's still really fucking bad. I like the idea of Special Forces just deciding to blow Jason up but then how he gets resurrected after that? What the hell? Then adding some really random mythology after that point that was never necessary? Yeah, no.

Films: 141
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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17 hours ago, dc20willsave said:

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday: It's not as bad as Part VIII but it's still really fucking bad. I like the idea of Special Forces just deciding to blow Jason up but then how he gets resurrected after that? What the hell? Then adding some really random mythology after that point that was never necessary? Yeah, no.

Did they add the mythology to mirror Halloween?

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