Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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The Matrix: While the effects and soundtrack are definitely dated, and the smooth leather sunglasses fashion is risible nearly twenty years later, the ambition, creative scope and integrity to its thematic backbone is more than sound to keep this classic almost timeless. This was the first time I fully understood all of the various philosophical discussions, the analogies, and how everything connected. Keanu Reeves isn't a bad actor, but this is a pretty notoriously soft performance. Laurence Fishburne is awesome, and the scene between him and Hugo Weaving near the end of the second act is unbelievable. That's the thing with the Matrix. Now and then it's date makes you forget how good it is, but there's always a few scenes that brings everything back.

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Double Date/Six Hot Chicks in a Warehouse/Curse of the Hag: features for the festival

Dysgeusia/Termitator/Scopaesthesia/Nobody Likes Your Butt/an Elder Man/Night Guard/8/Everything for the Movies/Death Breeds/3 Minutes With Angie/The Mountain King/Candyland/The Servant/Gurlimann/Madder Isle/The Good Samaritan/Surrounded by Death: shorts for the festival

One Of Us: a documentary about people trying to leave the Hasidic communities they grew up in. Fucking heart-wrenching. 

Features: 134

Shorts: 159

Documentaries: 11

Rewatches: 1

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Jason X: Very delightful. Yes, I loved the full-on camp of the entire thing.

Freddy vs Jason: After having gone through all the Friday movies this year and all the Nightmare last, I still say I prefer Freddy. Overall, it's a fun movie.

Cabin Fever: I had some major problems here. For right now, I'll just say it's not my cup of tea.

Films: 144
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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5 hours ago, Donomark said:

Hellraiser: Wow. This is the first horror film I've seen in, like, forever, that I found to be genuinely disturbing. It's a brutal, vicious piece of work that know it's doing and goes for it. Pretty damn cool.

Yes, it's a tad better than Saw.

Don't watch many of the sequels though. Only Hellraiser 2 really ties in to the original.

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1 hour ago, slothian said:

Yes, it's a tad better than Saw.

Don't watch many of the sequels though. Only Hellraiser 2 really ties in to the original.

Ahem...

Hahaha!

II is great. Three is rough, but has its moments. I'm a defender of Bloodline and Inferno (which is clearly a really great dark urban fantasy noir script that a savvy suit looked at and was like "We'll make it, but put Pinhead in it") to the end. Everything after that is a no go. Though, Lance Henriksen is in Hellseeker, so there's that.

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996): I've seen this maybe twice, and both times was back in the 90s. Watching it after so long, it was a fun viewing experience. You always hear about how this is one of the darkest, if not the darkest, Disney film. That's no joke. Frollo has to be the most evil Disney villain ever put on screen. I'd recommend this movie for Tony Jay's performance alone. It has to be his best animated role next to Megabyte. The movie's famously tonally imbalanced. Whenever it was serious, it was terrific. The animation is stunning, and the character's body language are realistically rendered so fully it's a step below the Ralph Bashki stuff from the 70s. The plot is somewhat thin, there's really not a major story, just a sequence of events. The "comedy" in the movie is completely distracting, and feels shallow compared to something like the Genie or Timon and Pumbaa. Basically the gargoyles were annoying, and I found myself for the first time ever saying "They're not gonna sing, are they?" But I wasn't bothered too much by the movie's bi-polar nature. It's surprisingly dark mood, Tony Jay and the animation save the movie from it's lame comedy and frankly forgettable songs, with the sole exception being "Hellfire". 

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The Autopsy of Jane Doe: Copy/pasted form Facebook: My annual horror movie I watch for myself on Halloween this year was THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE. I was kind of blown away. Not just because of the great performances of Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox (as well as Olwen Kelly, who plays Jane Doe and has more charisma as a corpse than a lot of actors playing living people) but because it shattered my writing brain. I mentioned I had two mummy movie ideas. Well, now I have one. Because this movies was basically the same idea I had. I'm not upset though. They did it brilliantly.

Features: 138

Shorts: 161

Documentaries: 11

Rewatches: 1

 
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Because I've lost my damned mind...

White Christmas: a better film than I remember it being when I was a kid. Dean Jagger is phenomenal, and amazing in this movie. Super-underrated. I still don't like Bing Crosby (sings through a yawn every time) or Danny Kaye (who is a real sore thumb in this one). Rosemary Clooney and the other woman (can't remember the name, but she kind of looks like I Dream of Jeannie) are pretty great. Ironically, the title song never gets sung in its entirety, which is weird, because that fucking dumbass "Sisters" song gets sung in full three times. Oh well...

A Bad Moms Christmas: I really liked the first one. This one doesn't really have Christina Applegate, and that hurts the movie a lot. Though, it was fun with Susan Sarandon, Cheryl Hines and the incredibly underrated Christine Baranski as the Bad Moms moms. These movies fall apart without Kathryn Hahn though.

Features: 141

Shorts: 161

Documentaries: 11

Rewatches: 1

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Thor: Ragnarok: It's a Marvel movie. It's not the best but it's not the worst. It is the best Thor film so it had that going for it. More thoughts over in the thread.

Jaws: The Revenge: There are embarrassingly bad sequels and then there's this. A shark literally travels miles just to antagonize an old woman.

Doll Man vs The Demonic Toys: It's a Full Moon movie. Kind of wonderful.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: I was pretty drunk by time we got to this movie but it's still my favorite in the series.

Films: 148
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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Susie's Beast/Trash Day/From Zombie With Love/Buzzcut/In The Deathroom/Bon Appetit/Flicker/esc/Shannon Act I: shorts for the festival

Pity Party/The Hookman of Loch Raven/13 Dolls in Darkness: features for the festival

30 for 30-The Nature Boy: a feature length Ric Flair doc. It took me until the end to tear up, but it was flowing pretty liberally. Also, I might have fallen in love with Charlotte.

Features: 146

Shorts: 179

Documentaries: 12

Rewatches: 1

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The Hunger Games: One of the more enjoyable action movies of the last few years. Always good for a watch.

Not Another Teen Movie: Of all the Movie Movies, probably the best one since it's more than just references. Like, it's actually trying to be an actual movie.

Bad Moms: I like all the actresses and Des said he liked it so sure, I watched it and I enjoyed myself.

Films: 151
Made-For-TV Movie: 2
MST3K/Rifftrax: 16
Repeats: 5

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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