Every Film You've Watched in 2017


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36 minutes ago, The Master said:

It's sad that most people only remember the movie for a few one-liners, rather than the fun action-comedy it is. Richard Tyson is one of those guys I wish got more mainstream work; between his voice, look, and line-delivery, he's a breath of fresh air when it comes to screen villains.

"It's not a tumor" is literally the worst joke in the movie. The better one liner is when the kid says "Boys have a penis and girls have a bagina" and Arnie says "Thanks for the tip." Brilliant and simple.

Overall, he's an amazing straight man in this film. Plays off against the kids brilliantly.

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Crying Freeman (1995): After watching the six OVAs and going thru the manga, I finally reached the Canadian Live-Action film starring Mark Decascos. It's great. This is one of the best non-Japanese live-action anime films I've ever seen. It gets the mood, mix of sex, romance and violence and characters all exactly right. It's a little cheesy (ok, A LOT CHEESY) but if you've seen the source material you'll feel the love the director must've had from start to finish.

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21 hours ago, Donomark said:

Only The Strong: By the numbers, hammy 90s movie about inner city schoolkids, gang violence, martial arts and teaching kids respect, only this time with Mark Decascos. I enjoy cheesy 90s fight movies, so this was entertaining. Mileage may vary tho

Zoom  Zoom Zoom!

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The Night Before: I mean, it's exactly what you think it is, but it's fun. Performances are great. I've enjoyed several Seth Rogen films, but I can't say I've ever enjoyed his performance and I enjoyed it here. So, there's that. Anthony Mackie is great here. Motherfucker is talented WAY beyond the shitty Marvel movies show him to be.

Bit By Bit/Esme Winters Master Musician of Magic/Dreaming of a Better Day/Entropia: shorts for the festival

Features: 165

Shorts: 229

Documentaries: 12

Rewatches: 1

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The Shape of Water: Best movie of the damn year. Go watch this. 

Doug Jones is amazing as the fish creature. And they do the sex multiple times! (The water leaking out the bathroom is a metaphor for her cumming, you see.) Also the real villain of the piece is toxic masculinity on so many levels, which I appreciate GDT for. The romance is so tender, and the way they build up the real villain of the piece is just perfect. I needed this film right now.

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Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: Still like the dumbest drug trup ever.

Films: 167
Made-For-TV Movie: 3
MST3K/Rifftrax: 20
Repeats: 7

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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The Disaster Artist: Pretty fun movie. I enjoyed the book better because there was so much more real-life craziness that they cut out of the story, which would've messed with their slightly more sympathetic view on Tommy Wiseau. Reading the book, he's pretty much an ignorant, unaware, one-dimensional ogre. There's more heart to the character depicted in Franco's performance which I get because it's a film with a narrative. Dave Franco's Greg Sestero is also pretty different, being much more wide-eyed and foolishly optimistic towards the experience than he ever was in real life, where he straight up did it because Tommy paid him an obscene amount of money. I was also a bit disapointed that there wasn't more Seth Rogen, who's a very enjoyable actor when he's playing a character who isn't himself. The sheer antagonism between Sandy and Tommy was reiterated throughout the filming chapters, and I felt that Rogen was just an audience surrogate who accepted all the weirdness with a shrug, as opposed to the real guy who was quite frequently pissed off. That only happens once in the film, and it's fleeting.

There's more stuff changed from the accounts in the book to fit the film's narrative,

Spoiler

(the Bryan Cranston scene is completely made up)

but I never really minded anything. It's a very fun viewing experience, and is goddamn funny once the filming of the movie starts happening.

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Freddy vs Jason: Research.

Home Alone: It's a holiday tradition for me to watch it. I grew up with it and it's always going to be part of childhood for me, even if it had moments of not being so great.

Santa Claus/Santa Claus Conquers The Martians: Wanted to watch the first two MST3k Christmas episodes. They're highly enjoyable. I need to watch the one from the new season again also.

Frozen: I'm still high on this one but in light of Moana, it definitely could have been a bit better.

Films: 169
Made-For-TV Movie: 3
MST3K/Rifftrax: 22
Repeats: 8

Best Film So Far: All About Eve
Best Film So Far that isn't one of Will's five favorite of all time: Duck Soup

Worst Film So Far That Isn't Showgirls: Cruel Intentions 2

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Bruce Almighty: dumb fun. Some hearkening back to Carrey's heyday. 

Top Knot Detective: feature for the festival

Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman/House of Frankenstein/House of Dracula: research

The Ruins/White Agony/The Old-Men/Bride of Frankie/Corpse Pose/Chiweenie/Horror, Sex & Hair Curlers/Living With a Monster/Fun/1st Day & Next Minute: shorts for the festival

Table 19: not bad for what it is. It actually goes some surprising places compared to my preconceived notions and Stephen Merchant is pretty hilarious.

Features: 176

Shorts: 245

Documentaries: 12

Rewatches: 1

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Atomic Blonde - Looks awesome and I love the soundtrack.  Has one really great fight scene and not much else.  Plot is nothing new, which I don't really care about, but I was just bored.  And if I never see another spy film where the last ten minutes just devolves into a series of 'shocking turns' it will be too soon. 

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