Every film you've watched in 2022

[Dread]

Ghosts of the Ozarks: review forthcoming

The Batman: I was weary of the runtime going in but I felt it pretty much earned the runtime even though almost every scene was probably a few seconds too long. It gave the whole thing a laconic vibe that was maybe what they were going for. It didn't gel with me entirely. But the cast is incredible, the film looks beautiful and has a lot of great violence as well as some actual detective work. Reeves and Pattinson seem to understand Batman more than any other director/actor yet even though they made The Riddler the Zodiac Killer (which I didn't mind). Anyone who puts on the leotard is gonna be held up against Frank Gorshin and that is unfair to them. The music was great. Loved the Batmobile and the Batcycle. Zoe Kravitz. Ai yi yi.

• Features: 26
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 1
• Rewatches: 0

[Donomark]

Batman and Robin (1997):

This is the third time I've watched this movie in the last three years, since Ian held the Flickchart Forum for Batman's 80th anniversary back in 2019, this time done for the purposes of a commentary and discussion on Questions: We Don't Have Answers. The only thing worth mentioning here that I don't get too much into in that recording is that a lot of Arnie's wacky dialogue has stayed with me in the following week. Just his rampant glee and enjoyment at being evil despite his "tragic" backstory, it's really incongruous but that's what makes it really funny. "Let's kick some ice" doesn't really make any sense, you're about to destroy the city, whose "ice" are you kicking exactly? But that's exactly what makes it awesome.

End of Days (1999):

Arnold's follow-up after Batman and Robin (a two year hiatus allegedly due to health issues), and guess what: B&R is a better watch. This movie's a laborious, portentous slog that goes for atmosphere over everything else, and has more cuts per action sequence than Taken 3. Kevin Pollack is Arnold's bff cop buddy (recalling somewhat Jim Belushi in Red Heat), and I like Kevil Pollack a lot, but it's a thankless role. C.C.H. Pounder is wasted, the guy playing the Devil (Gabriel Byrne a.k.a.- "not-James-Woods") is wasted despite an earnest performance. Part of the last lingering thread of my Catholic upbringing is a bit offended at all the sacrilege, but that's more to do with how bad the Devil's plan was. He just ran around kind of hoping that Arnold would do his bidding, while showing a more vast amount of power, thus leaving so much to chance for no reason. That really kept me from getting invested, the incredulity of it all. And like Raw Deal, you can't play Arnold as just a guy. He's bigger than life, you gotta have him be bigger than life. By this point, Arnold's a decent actor. He's not that bad a performer. He can pull off dramatic scenes, but it doesn't work if he's written to be too normal. The whole thing's just a cock-up from start to finish. Boring and annoying to watch.

Turning Red (2022):

So I was barely aware of this until Twitter started popping off about angry wypipo kvetching about not relating to goofy school age kids. I really didn't know what the movie was about until I sated watching. I've been pretty consistently enjoying Disney's output in the last year or so, since Soul, but this is by far my favorite movie they've done in a while. Right away we're introduced to Meilin and her friends, who are a set of silly, energetic, lovable tweens. They balance the line between OTT and completely believable with a verve that reminded me of Steven in the early days of Steven Universe. It's a film about puberty and family and friendship and culture and learning who you are and want to be and handles all of those themes so amazingly, it almost makes your head spin. Legitimately funny without any of the 2010s era irreverence or overreliance on pop culture (the movie takes place in 2002, with Meilin being the same age I would've been, there are some cultural incongruences but they don't totally distract), unabashedly sweet and wholesome, this is easily my favorite movie of the year not starring my two favorite comic book super heroes. I want tot watch it again. 

[You Know Who]

3 hours ago, Donomark said:

Batman and Robin (1997):

This is the third time I've watched this movie in the last three years, since Ian held the Flickchart Forum for Batman's 80th anniversary back in 2019, this time done for the purposes of a commentary and discussion on Questions: We Don't Have Answers. The only thing worth mentioning here that I don't get too much into in that recording is that a lot of Arnie's wacky dialogue has stayed with me in the following week. Just his rampant glee and enjoyment at being evil despite his "tragic" backstory, it's really incongruous but that's what makes it really funny. "Let's kick some ice" doesn't really make any sense, you're about to destroy the city, whose "ice" are you kicking exactly? But that's exactly what makes it awesome.

Having listened to that review, the main nonsensical-yet-funny line that’s stuck with me is him gleefully proclaiming, “Your emotions make you weak, Batman!”

[Dread]

The Scary at 61st/Doctor Sleep (not that one)/The Power of Darkness: reviews forthcoming

Spider-Man: Far From Home: perhaps the greatest example of fan-service in film ever. It has its moments. Dr. Strange in the MCU is just plain awful. You'll never be able to convince me otherwise. Him being in a movie affects its score. Him being integral to the plot affects the score even worse. Alfred Molina and Willem Dafoe are back to show everyone what a good villain is. At least there's that. I was more jazzed to see Tobey in the suit than I thought I'd be.

• Features: 30
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 1
• Rewatches: 0

[Donomark]

*pushes up glasses* I believe you're are referring to NO WAY Home.

[Dread]

5 hours ago, Donomark said:

*pushes up glasses* I believe you're are referring to NO WAY Home.

Haha! I can't keep them straight. I have to say the naming system was pretty awful, but the films are on the higher end of Marvel stuff.

.

[Dread]

Black Bear: I watched this with my gf in February, but forgot to log it. It's a must-watch for fans of Aubrey Plaza, but you aren't going to have a satisfying movie-going experience. I can almost guarantee it. What a weird fucking movie. It switches on you and shows how clever it is, but never switches again, really making it a head scratcher. Has anyone else seen it?

Dr. Strangelove...:for a thing. Looking forward to talking about it.

2001: A Space Odyssey: for a thing. What could it be?

Santa Sangre/Come To Daddy/Siege: reviews forthcoming

Carmine Street Guitars: a lovely 80 minute documentary about Rick Kelly, who salvages wood from old torn down buildings in New York to make one of a kind electric guitars. He thinks that Leo Fender got it right the first time when he invented the Telecaster, so Rick is alright in my book. I just looked up what the prices are and there's no available guitars on their site. But since they charge 230 USD for a guitar strap, I'm willing to bet I can't afford a guitar.

• Features: 36
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[Donomark]

Jujutsu Kaisen 0: Adaptation of the original four chapter manga series that led into the JJK series proper. It's a little confusing if you're not understanding when this takes place, which I wasn't until I got home. But it has a very Shinji-esque protag (voiced by Megumi Ogata) and heavily feature the babe Maki.

Morbius: It's a fact that since...2016ish, people have stood their ground against the Sony Marvel films. Is that entirely undeserved? I guess not, since their plans to include every Spider-Man character in a solo film is a really lame attempt at the cinematic universe clout. But it's also kinda weak to just write off the films on sight at the drop of an announcement. But also, Jared Leto has been burning through his Oscar goodwill for years as well, so Morbius had a lot going against it.

I liked it fine. The character is well adapted, and has a far better reason to exist separate from Spider-Man than Venom does. He probably has existed separate from Spidey in more of his appearances than not, he's not a rotating member of his rogues gallery. Jared Leto is good casting, and looks just like him from start to finish. The vampiric effect on his face I think look good, and the CGI I didn't find any more noticeable than any other special effects film. The character isn't the deepest, owing a lot in cinema familiarity with Bruce Banner's Hulk right down to Edward Norton's stopwatch. But in the final battle, he's got his black and purple look from the 90s, which was neat.

The real highlight is Matt Smith as the villain Lucien. As a self-respecting Doctor Who fan, I caught more than a few twisted takes on the 11th Doctor in his performance (it recalled Tennant's Killgrave essentially being an evil 10th Doctor), but it still makes for a terrific performance. His motivations blur as the film goes on, but his sense of enjoyment and threat presence are really entertaining. I found him sympathetic in the beginning, and entertaining by the end. IDK if Lucien will go down as a great villain or anything, but the performance is far better than the dregs of Yellowjacket.

The movie's choked with tropes and cliché's we've seen before. Tyrese and Al Madrigal play investigating agents that don't really add to much. Adria Arjona is the love interest. Jared Harris is the mentor father figure. Lots of things we've seen before, told initially at a breakneck speed. Morbius and Lucien's childhood friendship is told thru a flashback that's boiled down to a single scene, that's probably the biggest technical blip in the viewing experience. This film's a brisk hour and 44 minutes, but it would've benefitted from another 15 for breathing room. There's a really strong film here, with less clichés and more violence, although it's violence level is passable.

Here's the thing tho, the two mid-credits scenes are A.W.F.U.L. Like, SHOCKINGLY terrible. I know they've leaked online, and you might as well see them there. They're of a basement quality that's far below the metric that the film set itself at, and really justifies everyone's disdain for the Sony movies. Morbius is fine, nobody's gonna get mad at it, but holy crap those last two scenes honestly actually almost killed the whole thing.

[Dread]

Trouble Every Day/The Spine of Night: reviews forthcoming

• Features: 38
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[Professor]

On 4/1/2022 at 8:22 PM, Donomark said:

Jared Leto is good casting, and looks just like him from start to finish. The vampiric effect on his face I think look good, and the CGI I didn't find any more noticeable than any other special effects film.

I thought Morbius sucked.  The script (or edit.  Not sure which is to blame.  I'll assume both) was the main weakness.  Everything felt unearned.  A lot of tell, not show.  The friendship, the romance, the internal struggle all felt like boxes that were checked, rather than actual parts of the story.

I think we disagree on the special effects.  The vampiric effect could look good, and did from time to time.  It also looked really bad more often than not.  And the final fight CGI was just a mess that I struggled to follow.  Very similar to how I felt in Carnage so it may just be the Sony 'house style'. 

Whatever strengths this film has are with Leto & Smith.  They are trying, but are let down by the material.  And even saying that, I kinda feel like they were in different movies.

 

One thing about the ending that I do not understand, and since I'm not gonna watch this again

Spoiler

Michael makes two doses of the vampire killing serum, basically saying he is gonna kill Lucien, then himself.  Did I miss something as to why he is still alive at the end?  What changed his mind? 

 

[Donomark]

On 4/7/2022 at 5:39 PM, Professor said:

I thought Morbius sucked.  The script (or edit.  Not sure which is to blame.  I'll assume both) was the main weakness.  Everything felt unearned.  A lot of tell, not show.  The friendship, the romance, the internal struggle all felt like boxes that were checked, rather than actual parts of the story.

I think we disagree on the special effects.  The vampiric effect could look good, and did from time to time.  It also looked really bad more often than not.  And the final fight CGI was just a mess that I struggled to follow.  Very similar to how I felt in Carnage so it may just be the Sony 'house style'. 

Whatever strengths this film has are with Leto & Smith.  They are trying, but are let down by the material.  And even saying that, I kinda feel like they were in different movies.

 

One thing about the ending that I do not understand, and since I'm not gonna watch this again

  Hide contents

Michael makes two doses of the vampire killing serum, basically saying he is gonna kill Lucien, then himself.  Did I miss something as to why he is still alive at the end?  What changed his mind? 

 

Spoiler

Yeah, I agree, I thought of that. Where did his death wish go?

The flaws of the movie have been pointed out to me since I made this post last week. I still don't think Morbius is Z-grade, and that people are a little too eager to bash it, but it's not great. The weaknesses in the script, which I went it kind of expecting therefore it didn't faze me as much, are still genuine weaknesses. Those shouldn't have no effect on the quality of the movie, so it's definitely below average. Still don't think it's awful, but my positivity might've been a little premature.

[S-T]

Scream 5: Did Sheriff Hicks have a son in the 2011 movie? I don't remember any indication of her being a mom, so including Wes is a pretty big retcon.

This franchise has always tried to make killers vulnerable rather than unstoppable beasts like Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers, but as I said before, if you're going to do that you need to show some physical consequences for the fights the killer gets into. Hey, how did you get that black eye and busted lip?

Dewey mentions his injuries and the long-lasting effects of those injuries, but Sidney and Gail have also also taken an enormous amount of punishment over four previous movies and don't seem to be suffering any long-lasting physical damage.

Anyway, I was digging it until the end, which I hated.

Spoiler

Toxic fandom exists, and it exists both from people who get unreasonably upset that their favorite franchise has been changed and from people who get unreasonably upset at any criticism of their favorite thing.

But this felt like they were going out of their way to make a movie to rant about their own fans. Not just of this, but of Star Wars and other franchises as well. And honestly I found it insulting. They seemed to think that all criticism is "toxic fandom," which is just bonkers.

Someone can offer reasonable criticism without being toxic. Someone can even offer very harsh criticism for comedic effect (see the Tranquil Tirades) without being toxic.

Also:

Spoiler

I was surprised they killed off Dewey.

And:

Spoiler

Giving Billy Loomis a daughter that no one has ever known about until now was even more forced than giving Sidney a brother in Scream 3.

And:

Spoiler

This movie suffers from Bullseye syndrome. Someone who has been severely injured and has been in the hospital for most of the movie hits a headshot on a moving target using a handgun, despite having no firearms training or expertise.

Nope. There's a reason police officers are trained to aim for center mass, and even then they often miss.

Also, was Amber wearing a bulletproof vest when Dewey pumped her full of bullets? Because that kills most people.

Her jump scare charge at the end was ridiculous. You take several bullets and get set on fire only to no-sell your catastrophic injuries in order to charge the protagonists. Come on, man.

And:

Spoiler

I hate the abandoned hospital trope. No, you won't have an entire floor abandoned like that. Please stop doing that.

This made a ton of money, so I suspect there will be a Scream 6.

As I sat down to watch it, I immediately thought "I am looking forward to @dc20willsave and Skyler reviewing this for Earth-2.net: The Show."

[Dread]

Barry Lyndon: for a thing, but it took four days to watch this movie.

• Features: 39
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[S-T]

The Eternals - It doesn't really make sense that they would not have stopped Thanos, especially after interfering in human affairs for thousands of years.  

Spoiler

Plus, the Celestials creating hundreds of new worlds that would eventually be populated by billions of sentient beings would kinda mess with Thanos' plan to stop the "Universal Population Bomb." It seems like Thanos' first target upon getting the power of the Infinity Gauntlet would be the Eternals.
   
I think The Eternals would be better existing in its own universe. They could always be brought in via the Multiverse.
   
It also makes no sense that the Eternals would not recruit the most powerful characters in the MCU to fight a potentially world-destroying threat. Dr. Strange would be very useful. So would Carol Danvers, who is powerful enough to at least go toe-to-toe with Ikaris by herself, and probably win. Even villains like the Abomination, the Vulture and Klaw would fight the Celestials out of self-preservation.

I love the fact that Batman and Superman officially exist as fictional characters in the MCU, with one kid thinking that Ikaris is Superman.

 

[Dread]

The Shining/Full Metal Jacket: for a thing...but WHAT COULD IT BE?

• Features: 41
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[slothian]

2 hours ago, Dread said:

The Shining/Full Metal Jacket: for a thing...but WHAT COULD IT BE?

• Features: 41
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

Now there's a cowinky-dink....

Also, I understand Cowinky-dink to be a popular song from a Canadian kids show of your vintage, Mr Doomsday!

[Dread]

2 hours ago, slothian said:

Now there's a cowinky-dink....

Also, I understand Cowinky-dink to be a popular song from a Canadian kids show of your vintage, Mr Doomsday!

This is true.

But I think you're referring to Skinnamarink:

 

[Dread]

Jackass Forever: rented this tonight to watch with the boys. It's maybe the most fucked up off them all. Lots of dicks and balls in this one. Yikes. Laughed my ass off.

• Features: 42
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[slothian]

On 4/11/2022 at 8:35 PM, Dread said:

This is true.

But I think you're referring to Skinnamarink:

 

I absolutely was!

[Donomark]

Enemy of the State: caught some of the first act on TV and torrented the rest cuz it's an old-ass movie by now.

I was honestly expecting to rag on this once I was finished because the film hinges on the scariness and paranoia of government surveillance, and it's clear that the filmmakers though they were being cutting edge with all the zoom-out sped up overhead shots and satellites in Earth's atmosphere zooming across the screen. But the acting quality still makes this at worst a mixed bag and at best a very watchable thriller. Will Smith is the main character and he's a slightly more serious 90s Will. Jon Voight is the government bad guy and Gene Hackman is the reclusive government good guy. It's those two actors that keep this a good movie. Gene Hackman is really excellent. I was sort of taken out of the movie from the start with the whole murdering a congressman because he won't vote the way you want him to thing, as that seems totally fantastical in today's day and age. The movie is essentially a 2 hour chase scene with technology and science, pioneered by a bunch of nerd actors like Seth Green, Jaime Kennedy and Jack Black. It's really interesting at the end of the day.

[Missy]

Saw that in the cinema because Jason Lee was in it, and was pissed when he unceremoniously died.

[S-T]

Spider-Man: No Way Home: I called this "Fanservice: The Movie." But it was very well done and maybe my favorite Marvel movie.

I really wanted to see Tobey Maguire's version of Peter interact with JJJ from the MCU, and be stunned that the MCU's version of JJJ looks exactly like the Raimiverse version of JJJ, despite the fact that none of the Parkers are clones of each other.

Spoiler

Was Tobey Maguire's character originally supposed to die after he was impaled by the Green Goblin? Because it sure seems like they intended for him to die, and then re-wrote the ending.

Dr. Strange is seriously OP.

[Davedevil]

Spoiler

I honestly don't know. It does seem like it definitely did happen, but it wouldn't be the first time they've "killed" the fan favorite. Groot being the first that comes to mind.

 

[Dread]

Cast a Deadly Spell: review forthcoming

• Features: 43
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 2
• Rewatches: 0

[Dread]

Witch Hunt: review forthcoming

Eyes Wide Shut: for the thing

Cypress Hill: Insane on the Brain: this is how I spent late night 4/20. Haha!

Leviathan: I saw this on Tubi and that it was leaving the service in a few days and watched it even though I have other movies to watch for the podcast. I've been meaning to rewatch this one for years. This has got a great cast for the Aliens ripoff. It's definitely the dumber drunk brother of Abyss (which I also want to rewatch).

Bridesmaids:watched this on a  whim with girlfriend and oldest bonus-daughter last night. It's so good. There's at least a chuckle every few seconds. Relentless and heartfelt and really well-acted.

The Social Dilemma: we are dooooooooooooomed

Prisoners: such a masterpiece. Hugely underrated Gyllenhaal performance. Underrated because Jackman's performance is so big (so great too). It is an absolutely heart-crushing and unrelenting ride.

• Features: 48
• Shorts: 7
• Documentaries: 4
• Rewatches: 0