Did I just hear that?


The Master
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This being the second to last week of the semester, teachers are bringing their students into the computer lab to fill out their online course evaluations. One of the questions on the evaluation is "How often was the assigned textbook used?" Having read this, one of the students looked over to her teacher and asked, "Do we have a textbook?"

The teacher's response was much kinder than mine would have been

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While at the Comic Book shop last night, talking with one of the guys about movies we were planning on seeing this weekend (him, Ninja Assassin, me, Invictus or The Princess and the Frog) we also touched on movies we had seen. 2012 came up and a woman in line whirled around and, with a huge n' happy grin on her face, snapped, "APOCALYPSE BUKKAKE!!!"

To which I replied, "Exactly!"

After I stopped laughing, that is. :lol:

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A student just poked his head into the computer lab and asked, "Is Mort Castle in here with his class?"

I glanced up, then around the empty room, then back at him. "No."

From the doorway he could clearly see the room was empty, save for myself, but he asked again, "Are you sure Mort isn't in here?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

He then shuffled off mumbling to himself.

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A student just poked his head into the computer lab and asked, "Is Mort Castle in here with his class?"

I glanced up, then around the empty room, then back at him. "No."

From the doorway he could clearly see the room was empty, save for myself, but he asked again, "Are you sure Mort isn't in here?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

He then shuffled off mumbling to himself.

Maybe Mort was using that invisibility cloak you got him last Christmas?

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Just a minute ago an older black woman was talking to another customer, a classmate of hers. She was complaining that her car was broken into this morning, and said, "Fucking niggers! I hate 'em!"

It wasn't used in that "I'm black so I can say it" kind of way. No, she used it in its most racist form. I was stunned, 'cause I've rarely heard black people use it that way, and, moreover, because normally she's a very sweet, quiet woman.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My five year old godson talking to his mother yesterday-

William: Mummy look what I made (presents a couple of construction toy things he's put together)

Katie: Very nice William!

William: Do you love them more than me?

Katie:...what?

William: Do you love them more than you love me?

Katie: Well, no William, I like them a lot but I love you more than anything.

William: Why?

Katie: Because you're the nicest thing in the whole world.

William: NO I'M NOT THE NICEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!! (runs back into the other room)

This child is deranged.

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For those that don't know or remember, I work in a college bookstore in the textbook department. I'm helping a man and his 12 year old daughter find his books, answering some questions. He asks me, "This is my first quarter so I don't know how this works but the government is paying for my books-" The daughter interrupts with, in a snotty voice, "Because you couldn't keep your job." What a brat.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The professor makes a kind of cute joke about how Christopher Marlowe and Thomas Kyd were probably gay together: "Kyd said that their papers were shuffled together, made people wonder what else was shuffled together, too."

This kid in the front row, looks EXACTLY like Gary Busey, says in the most opaque way possible, "They weren't homosexuals, were they?"

This is a class about 15th and 16th Century English Drama, mind you. If he can't pick up the subtleties in contemporary spoken English, he is going to die a thousand deaths in this class.

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This is more of a "did I just see that?", and it's probably a little too morbid for this thread, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

I'm pretty sure I just saw a dead body a few minutes ago.

While driving home, I was in the left lane (reverse that for you non-Americans) of a six-lane highway, when I saw a car abruptly reverse out of an entrance to a strip mall, thus briefly traveling in reverse along the right side of the road. That was kinda odd, considering that it's a very busy highway (and I've never seen anyone do that before in my seventeen years of living in this area). But as I drove past and the car moved out of the way, I saw a parked truck and three or so people standing warily in a semicircle around a mangled-looking body. Not bloody at all, but obviously twisted and completely still. No one was trying to help him, so I'm pretty sure he was dead.

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More of a "Did I just read that?", but creative spellings of normal names has gone too far.

I saw this alternate spelling of the name commonly spelled "Lindsey":

Lyndcey.

Seriously. I can deal with Lindsey, or Linsey, or Lindsie even Lindzy. But, "Lyndcey?" Fuck it, humanity, I quit.

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More of a "Did I just read that?", but creative spellings of normal names has gone too far.

I saw this alternate spelling of the name commonly spelled "Lindsey":

Lyndcey.

Seriously. I can deal with Lindsey, or Linsey, or Lindsie even Lindzy. But, "Lyndcey?" Fuck it, humanity, I quit.

I'd stop with Lindzy. Sounds like an emo who wants to be different.

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