Did I just hear that?


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Jen and I went out for dinner this evening, and here are two choice bits I picked up.

While we were waiting for our table, two people discussed other restaurants in the area:

"Panda Express? What kind of food do they have?"

"Chinese. Asian. Oriental. All that."

Once seated, someone at the table next to ours asked the server, "Do those mashed potatoes have gravy? 'Cause I can't digest cheese."

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  • 3 weeks later...

Someone asked me what the best movie ever made was and I said Jaws. They laughed and said that it sucked. I asked what they thought was the best movie ever made and they said Zoolander. Zoolander!

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Someone asked me what the best movie ever made was and I said Jaws. They laughed and said that it sucked. I asked what they thought was the best movie ever made and they said Zoolander. Zoolander!

Were you volunteering in some sort of state-run hospital at the time?

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Someone asked me what the best movie ever made was and I said Jaws. They laughed and said that it sucked. I asked what they thought was the best movie ever made and they said Zoolander. Zoolander!

Were you volunteering in some sort of state-run hospital at the time?

It was a high school student.

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Someone asked me what the best movie ever made was and I said Jaws. They laughed and said that it sucked. I asked what they thought was the best movie ever made and they said Zoolander. Zoolander!

Were you volunteering in some sort of state-run hospital at the time?

It was a high school student.

Same thing, really.

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A few weeks ago, my girlfriend stayed after Japanese class at UV to help the students that aren't as far along as her (which would be, well, everyone). As expected, a vast majority of these students are just anime fans that will literally cosplay every single day and clearly have no actual interest in learning the language. These are (supposed) adults in their 20s, I'll remind you.

Anyways, there was this one mouth-breather that pretty much spent all day doodling. Amy, being remarkably more tolerant than myself went over and asked him what he was drawing. In his best non self-aware mix of Comic Book Guy and Napoleon Dynamite he spit out.

"It's a Croctapus. Duh!"

A croctapus, she was told, is apparently a cross between a crocodile and an octopus.

I must find this creature.

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No, this was somehow an eight armed crocodile of sorts. Amy's a damn talented artist and even she couldn't reproduce the sheer absurdity of it.

It was, technically, an adult.

Granted, it's Baltimore University, so the bar isn't really up there.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The other day at work two young (like 15-16 year old girls) walk by and I heard "so we were in his bedroom sitting on his bed, and he leaned in so I leaned in too. Then he kissed me and I was like Ewwww! You're my cousin".

I was laughing so hard I missed the next part.

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The other day at work two young (like 15-16 year old girls) walk by and I heard "so we were in his bedroom sitting on his bed, and he leaned in so I leaned in too. Then he kissed me and I was like Ewwww! You're my cousin".

I was laughing so hard I missed the next part.

Wait, I need more details. Cousin by blood or marriage? :angel:

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The other day at work two young (like 15-16 year old girls) walk by and I heard "so we were in his bedroom sitting on his bed, and he leaned in so I leaned in too. Then he kissed me and I was like Ewwww! You're my cousin".

I was laughing so hard I missed the next part.

Wait, I need more details. Cousin by blood or marriage? :angel:

Because a cousin by marriage isn't awkward or weird.

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All joking aside, the cousin could have been from someone's previous marriage. For instance, a girl I knew in high school had sex with her stepfather's nephew. That's the kind of cousin by marriage I was referring to, not it being her husband's cousin.

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Last night I overheard two ladies leaving a Christian bible study. This is what was said:

"So that's why the Jews are so successful. I thought it was just because they are God's chosen people."

I really want to know what the first part of that conversation was.

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Last night I overheard two ladies leaving a Christian bible study. This is what was said:

"So that's why the Jews are so successful. I thought it was just because they are God's chosen people."

I really want to know what the first part of that conversation was.

I am in TEARS.

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