Did I just hear that?


The Master
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  • 1 month later...
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  • 2 weeks later...

TOTALLY forgot to mention this last week but before and at times during Hellboy 2, two girls sitting in the row behind us were talking about DK and about how one went to a costume party with a bunch of friends dressed in a Batman theme. She was talking about how long she took turning a bikini and leaves/flowers into a totally awesome but very revealing Poison Ivy costume. She went on to say how self conscious she felt wearing it and didn't have it perfect because she couldn't find a green nylon bodysuit so she got pale green thigh high stockings.

I decided not to turn and lear both to see how hot she could ossibly be and to make it noticeable that people could hear her during the movie but after the movie, the credits are rolling and we stand up and she says, "I would totally go bi for Selma Blair" and I look behind to see the hottest redhead I have ever seen in my life, tv, movies, magazines and otherwise. Smoking hot. I almost said "I'd risk the poison"...you know if I wasn't a pussy or married. :)

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TOTALLY forgot to mention this last week but before and at times during Hellboy 2, two girls sitting in the row behind us were talking about DK and about how one went to a costume party with a bunch of friends dressed in a Batman theme. She was talking about how long she took turning a bikini and leaves/flowers into a totally awesome but very revealing Poison Ivy costume. She went on to say how self conscious she felt wearing it and didn't have it perfect because she couldn't find a green nylon bodysuit so she got pale green thigh high stockings.

I decided not to turn and lear both to see how hot she could ossibly be and to make it noticeable that people could hear her during the movie but after the movie, the credits are rolling and we stand up and she says, "I would totally go bi for Selma Blair" and I look behind to see the hottest redhead I have ever seen in my life, tv, movies, magazines and otherwise. Smoking hot. I almost said "I'd risk the poison"...you know if I wasn't a pussy or married. :)

Again, I say... you lucky bastard.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The other day, one of my co-workers came up to my register to buy a half dozen doughnuts and this happens:

(He leans down and takes a sniff of the box of doughnuts) and he whispers, "Smells like pussy!"

Now...I am no expert on women, but I've never encountered a vagina that smells like fresh baked glazed doughnuts.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This isn't a "Did I just hear that?" It's a "Did I just see that?"

I just watched a Capri Sun commercial on Cartoon Network that had a guy flopping around on a dock (as if he was a fish out of water) and then I see a chihuahua in a snorkel and goggles along with a shark walk up. The shark proceeds to squirt a Capri Sun package all over the guy on the ground and I swear to God it looked like the shark was taking a piss all over the guy because of the way the camera angles were situated.

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  • 4 weeks later...
The other day, one of my co-workers came up to my register to buy a half dozen doughnuts and this happens:

(He leans down and takes a sniff of the box of doughnuts) and he whispers, "Smells like pussy!"

Now...I am no expert on women, but I've never encountered a vagina that smells like fresh baked glazed doughnuts.

I think someone was trying to impress you with his knowledge of pussy.

Overheard:

"Hi, how are you?

I know.

It's not Friday.

We're not on vacation.

It's shitty outside.

I'm gay."

- Coworker to client on phone

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The other day, one of my co-workers came up to my register to buy a half dozen doughnuts and this happens:

(He leans down and takes a sniff of the box of doughnuts) and he whispers, "Smells like pussy!"

Now...I am no expert on women, but I've never encountered a vagina that smells like fresh baked glazed doughnuts.

I think someone was trying to impress you with his knowledge of pussy.

I think someone did the exact opposite.

This from a service representative at a certain airlines once, almost 3 years ago when my daughter was 15 months old and we were flying back to Hawaii:

"All right, sir, I have you and your wife in seats 12A and 12B, and the baby in seat 25D."

I took a deep breath and said as calmly as I could "Think about what you just said." I actually had to explain why this fell into the category of Not A Good Idea. Oy.

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This from a service representative at a certain airlines once, almost 3 years ago when my daughter was 15 months old and we were flying back to Hawaii:

"All right, sir, I have you and your wife in seats 12A and 12B, and the baby in seat 25D."

I took a deep breath and said as calmly as I could "Think about what you just said." I actually had to explain why this fell into the category of Not A Good Idea. Oy.

Well, maybe they wanted to give the baby a window seat? Airlines-we do the little things to piss you off, because we can.

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This from a service representative at a certain airlines once, almost 3 years ago when my daughter was 15 months old and we were flying back to Hawaii:

"All right, sir, I have you and your wife in seats 12A and 12B, and the baby in seat 25D."

I took a deep breath and said as calmly as I could "Think about what you just said." I actually had to explain why this fell into the category of Not A Good Idea. Oy.

Well, maybe they wanted to give the baby a window seat? Airlines-we do the little things to piss you off, because we can.

Maybe no one wanted the seat next to the emergency exit.

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