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SuaveStar

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Black Mirror, Charlie Brooker's new show, is fucking DARK. Three Twilight Zone style tales in the series and in the first one the following occurs- A Kate Middleton equivalent is kidnapped and there is just one demand. She will be executed at 4pm later that day unless the Prime Minister has sex with a pig live on national television. Yup, you read that right.

Damn. Just damn. That was suspenseful, and the worst part was, you can truly believe that that could actually happen. It wasn't really exaggerated in any way, and the conclusion, was so damn realistic.

Finally got around to watching this. Hoooly shit. Are the other episodes as great as the first?

The second episode is better in my opinion, less shocking but incredibly creative and the characters are more developed. The third episode is this sunday.

I enjoyed the first episode more. But the third episode looks really interesting. They're really different from each other, yet in some ways, attacking the same themes, which is nice.

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Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - Well, this was fucking terrible. Actually managed to make me hate a well shot black and white film with minimal dialogue.

Gonna spoil the hell out of it since I don't think anyone here cares.

1) The final centipede ends up as ten people, not twelve.

2) The main character is a mentally challenged mute, though a major plot point involves him calling the three actors from the first film pretending to be Quentin Tarentino's casting agent. HOW. THE. FUCK. DOES. HE. DO. THIS.

3) This guy kidnaps and beats the fuck out of twelve people, often several at a time. It's also worth pointing out that he's obese and has horrible asthma. The movie will often ignore this by simply introducing a victim and then cut to them captured and in the room.

4) He always works alone in this parking garage and never has a superior to report to.

5) He has this giant empty garage full of crying and moaning people that no one ever notices.

6) The centipede gets up and crawls in a circle for no reason. He never threatens or gives them any instruction to, cause, again, can't talk.

7) The cute girl from the first one is back (as herself) and gets to be the front of the centipede this time. She's forced to deepthroat a comically long funnel and then gets her tongue ripped out (cause the mute also has super strength). There is no way she was paid nearly enough for these two movies.

8) The Wikipedia entry flat out makes up story points that never actually happen in the movie.

9) With about ten minutes left in the movie, he decides he wants to rape the girl at the end of the centipede, despite them saying earlier that he'd mutilated his dick to the point of pretty much nonexistence.

10) One of the victims is a pregnant woman. She's presumed dead about halfway through the film so the centipede is made without her. After the rape scene, she suddenly wakes up, runs to a car outside, goes into labor while trying to start the car, GIVES BIRTH IN THE CAR IN THE SPAN OF TWENTY SECONDS, then STOMPS ON HER NEWBORN BABY'S HEAD to hit the gas pedal and drive away.

11) Everyone except for the cute girl is killed. She hits him in the balls (despite not having any), then shoves the funnel up his ass and has a centipede crawl through it.

12) In the end, it was all a dream.

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Watched Rifftrax versions of Star Trek Generations and Star Trek (2009) so far today. Two movies that attempted to launch a newer crew into films, that featured the return of a TOS actor and frankly had some big gaping plot holes. However the latest one was so fun I forgive it's faults, Generations is frankly a big pile of crap.

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Watched Rifftrax versions of Star Trek Generations and Star Trek (2009) so far today. Two movies that attempted to launch a newer crew into films, that featured the return of a TOS actor and frankly had some big gaping plot holes. However the latest one was so fun I forgive it's faults, Generations is frankly a big pile of crap.

Funny things about both films: Generations was kind of unnecessary as a "launch" for the TNG crew, since the one TNG movie that really, really worked was First Contact, which basically treated itself almost like another episode of the series with little-or-no introduction. As far as the plot holes in XI, it turns out that all five trillion of those holes were filled by material that all ended up on the cutting room floor for the sake of momentum and overall storytelling. There's a few interviews with Orci and Kurtzman out there where they point-by-point discuss every single plot hole and explain what really happened. They really did think all of it through, but in the end it was decided to sacrifice 100% plot integrity for the sake of keeping the non-geek masses entertained.

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I know they had explanations, the extra comics filled in a lot, but I take a film on it's own merits.

Plus even this latest film felt the need to connect back to TOS, so you can hardly blame them was wanting a crossover film like Generations. The result was poor, but I think if I could do it all over I'd still want a film where Kirk and Picard get to meet. I'd just rather see one where Picard is worth a damn and Kirk doesn't go out like a bitch. Heck, I'd rather see one where the final set piece wasn't a fistfight between men who are all eligible for their bus pass.

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