The news thread

[MaxPower]

Trivia, robberies and construction are the reason why 24/7 quickie marts have locks on their doors. In case some idiot states that sometime.

[Venneh]

New law promoting heterosexual marriage in Missouri makes divorce even harder and has some pretty interesting things to say about domestic abuse

...WTF?!

[Nicolette Opal]

My God...

Well, ladies: Welcome to 1959.

[KnightWing]

That... doesn't even... what?!?

[Venneh]

You heard it here, folks!

Want to divorce your husband cause he beat you and put you in the hospital? Too bad, he says it's an isolated incident and that you slapped him first, you can't divorce him! Your family can testify otherwise? They don't count, and you can't divorce him! And you can't keep your kids from him, even if he punches and hits them but doesn't leave an injury, cause it's infrequent and has to be proved separately for each kid! And if you don't measure up to these standards of evidence, the kids go to your husband!

Because fuck domestic abuse victims! You're just a lying woman!

I'm sorry, but because of what I've seen through my dad's work, FUCK YOU MISSOURI.

[Missy]

I don't know if this is the right thread, but these two used to be on the morning news on Chicago's local FOX affiliate. So.

I think this is pretty deranged, but Mike will like it.

First, the e-mail:

If Mama ain't happy, aint nobody happy!

Show me a great relationship and I'll show you a trained man, and a woman who made it happen.

I want to prove to you that every man is trainable. No, this is not what you think; it's actually what men want-the secret to a fantasy relationship.

If you think your man is in need of some training, send emails, videos, secretly recorded conversations, whatever you want. I'm only going to take on the really tough ones, so don't hold back in your submissions.

Come on... this is a great FREE opportunity. Don't blow it! I can show you how to take your man from clueless to trained in a few easy steps.

Send your submissions to info@trainaman.com to be considered.

And of course keep checking the blog for my latest miraculous transformations.

http://www.trainaman.com/

Make Mama happy.

Marianne

Yes Mike, THE Marianne. As in Murciano.

Check out the site.

I kind of feel bad for Bob Sirott.

I have no idea how I ended up on the effing mailing list of hers, though. Must've got my address off the mass e-mails the Fiction department sends out to grad students (without using bcc).

How did I miss this post?!

I might still have the hots for her, but what the fuck?!

As for that new Arizona law: Suns to wear 'Los Suns' uniforms to honor Phoenix's Latino community. Good for them! That's a small gesture, but also a very risky move. I applaud the team for having the balls to say, "Fuck it!"

[Dread]

Heh...balls.

[dc20willsave]

There was a man on campus with a large sign saying, "Do I look Illegal?" I should have taken a picture with him.

[Venneh]

I think there was an event on Facebook for that today.

[Doug]

Today the stock price of P&G briefly dropped from $66 to $30... .

[Koete]

Lord Jesus Christ suffers minor injuries in downtown Northampton crosswalk mishap

By Patrick Johnson, The Republican

May 06, 2010, 5:07PM

NORTHAMPTON - A 20-year-old Pittsfield driver was cited by police Tuesday after she ran down Lord Jesus Christ in a marked crosswalk at Main Street and Strong Avenue, police said.

Brittany E. Cantarella was cited for a crosswalk violation, said Northampton police Capt. Scott Savino.

Christ, 50, of Belchertown, was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital for treatment of minor injuries following the 3:30 p.m. accident. He was treated at the hospital and then released.

Cantarella was making a left turn from Strong Avenue onto Main Street when her car, a 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, struck Christ.

Christ was in a marked crosswalk at the time of the accident, Savino said.

Savino said officers checked Christ’s identification at the scene and confirmed it was his legal name.

Source

[Venneh]

Actual Republican Candidate Campaign Ad Run on TV in Florida.

Can someone please tell me how the hell this got on TV?

[Guest]

[Dread]

I would use that ad to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Fanelli hangs out with terrorists in airplane bunkers.

[Venneh]

DNR Warns of Pot Growing on Public Land

May 12, 2010

MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- The state Department of Natural Resources wants hikers, anglers and hunters to be on the lookout for giant marijuana grows on public lands.

State investigators uncovered two major illegal grows on public lands last year in Shawano and Buffalo counties. The DNR is working with the state Justice Department to find more grows, launching surveillance flights, foot patrols and a public awareness campaign.

Part of that effort calls for posters in parks and forests telling people what to look out for huts, tents and other makeshift structures, rakes and shovels, water jugs, chemical containers, disturbed vegetation and small clearings.

DNR wardens say people who spot anything strange should back away, remember any vehicles they saw, take global positioning system coordinates, if possible, and call police.

Source

Ladies and gentlemen, only in Wisconsin.

[Nicolette Opal]

Actually, totally not only in Wisconsin.

This is (and has been) a big problem in California and Kentucky...and any state with public land, national parks, etc.

[KnightWing]

14-year-old autistic boy charged with making terrorist threats... through stick figure drawings.

[Venneh]

Fertility clinic's embryo mix-up turns would-be mum into accidental IVF surrogate

AN American woman who spent years trying to have another child was given the choice of abortion or surrogacy after an IVF clinic implanted her with another woman's embryo.

Carolyn and Sean Savage turned to in-vitro fertilisation after years of miscarriages and heartbreak trying to add a fourth child to their family.

It worked, but Carolyn was told that because of her prior complications, this would be her final pregnancy.

Their dream was, however, shattered by a phone call less than two months into the pregnancy. The IVF clinic had implanted Carolyn with another woman's embryo.

They were offered two choices: Keep the baby to term and hand it over to its biological parents, or terminate the pregnancy, which went against their religious beliefs.

Doctors strongly urged Carolyn to terminate her pregnancy.

Still, the Savages decided there really was no choice. Carolyn became an accidental surrogate mother.

Another woman has my baby

The baby was the biological child of Shannon, 40, and Paul Morell, 39, from Troy, Michigan who had similar struggles with fertility.

After two miscarriages and three pregnancy attempts, they finally got pregnant through IVF with twin daughters.

Three years later, they were ready for a third child, and decided to freeze six embryos.

But before Shannon could be impregnated, they received an urgent call from their fertility doctor.

"I'm so sorry, Shannon, but there's been a terrible incident in our lab," he said. "Your embryos have thawed."

"Your embryos were transferred to another woman," the doctor said.

Shannon told the New York Post she was stunned. "Is she pregnant?" she managed.

"Yes."

Due to a human error at the lab - Shannon's embryos were filed under her maiden name, Savage, which is the same as Carolyn's.

"I couldn't have felt more violated," Shannon writes in a new memoir, Misconception (Howard Books). "Of all the people in the world - of all the people who have embryos at this clinic - why did this happen to us?"

She was conflicted. "Opposite desires tugged at me - I wanted my babies to survive, but in another woman? " she writes.

An 'un-easy' relationship

The Morells reached out through their lawyer to the Savages, hoping to start a relationship.

The Savages were uneasy.

The couples agreed to meet on April 27 in Ohio, two months into the pregnancy. As Shannon and Paul declared their utter thankfulness, Carolyn broke the news that "she hadn't wanted this meeting. She would have been fine without ever meeting us," Shannon writes.

But over time, the women warmed to each other, as Carolyn agreed to email Shannon about the progress of the pregnancy and sent weekly ultrasound pictures of the baby that the Morells had dubbed "Peanut". Carolyn even invited Shannon to an ultrasound in Ohio.

Carolyn admitted that it was difficult to carry a baby that was not hers. She told Shannon that it felt like she was "babysitting" the child.

Still, they bonded over a mutual love for family and deep religious beliefs. When Shannon discovered the sex of the boy, she decided on the name Logan and even ran the name by Carolyn to see if she liked it, too.

Shannon decided to give her boy the middle name Savage, after her own maiden name and his surrogate mother.

"There's a connection with these people," Shannon said in an interview with The New York Post. "He's given that name so he'll always remember what happened."

One hour with the baby

On September 24, the Morells got the call - their baby was on its way. They quickly packed the car and headed to Mercy St Vincent Medical Centre in Toledo. They were escorted by nurses to a private waiting area where Shannon anxiously watched the clock and sobbed. She would not be delivering her own baby.

Moments later, Sean appeared in scrubs, walking with an incubator and several nurses.

"It was a miracle. It was better than winning the lottery," Shannon said.

Carolyn, groggy from her C-section, held the 5 pounds, 3 ounces, (2.3kg) boy in her arms in a hospital room at Mercy St Vincent Medical Centre in Toledo.

They had been waiting for this moment for years, but as they looked anxiously at the clock, they knew it would last only little more than an hour.

After the baby was born, the families kept a respectful distance from each other. The Morells would send pictures and updates but left the decision to see Logan up to them. The Savages are currently working on their own book, tentatively titled Nine Months to Give out in February.

During Christmas break, the Morells made the trip to Ohio with Logan to introduce him to his surrogate parents.

They keep in contact fairly frequently now through email. Shannon says that the Savages will always play a role in Logan's life - and that one day he will be told the complicated story of where he came from.

"I think for the rest of his life, he should always acknowledge (Carolyn), on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day. He should always think of her because if she hadn't done the right thing, he wouldn't be on this earth," Shannon said.

Source

...So the options were abort the baby or carry it to term and have it taken from you because the clinic fucked up. WOW.

[Nicolette Opal]

Columbia University valedictorian steals Patton Oswalt joke, uses it in his valedictory speech.

[Koete]

Columbia University valedictorian steals Patton Oswalt joke, uses it in his valedictory speech.

Asshat.

[dc20willsave]

There's an interesting article on the kid who hacked Sarah Palin's e-mail address right here.

[SuaveStar]

As I said in the chat, he's an ass, who deserved it. Though it wouldn't have been a tenth as bad a result for him, if it was just an average person.

[JackFetch]

Yes, he deserved everything he got, but for God's sake news companies learn what is and what isn't hacking. Guessing someone's security questions using public information isn't hacking. It's social engineering. There is another story going around about those big highway signs getting "hacked" and the messages changed because they never changed the default password.

[Dread]

Does he deserve 20 years in prison? Hell no. He's a dumbass who tried to own up to the bead decision he made (which is more than I can say for most people his age) and he was ignored in favor of an arrest full of sound and fury intended to send a message. Ridiculous.

[Venneh]

Also, when you think about it, there's another big reason for people going after him.

He's the only identifiable member of 4Chan.