JackFetch Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 From http://www.movie-moron.com/?p=10562 MAY Iron Man 2 Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson Director: Jon Favreau Release Date: 7th May 2010 The red and gold suit didn’t see all that much combat in the first movie so expect that to be ramped up this time. Rourke (Whiplash), Johansson (Black Widow) and Rockwell (Justin Hammer) are the new trio of villains. Robin Hood Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, William Hurt, Mark Strong, Danny Huston Director: Ridley Scott Release Date: 14th May 2010 It’s the 13th century and Robin Hood is an archer in the army of King Richard fighting against the French. When Richard dies, Robin travels to Nottingham, a town suffering under a despotic sheriff. There he falls for the spirited widow Lady Marion. Hoping to earn her hand and salvage the village, Robin assembles a mercenary gang to prey upon the indulgent upper class and correct injustices. …This story is too well worn for me. Originally it was going to be from the sheriff’s point of view – much more interesting. Shrek Forever After Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews Director: Mike Mitchell Release Date: 21st May 2010 In this fourth installment, Shrek is feeling over-domesticated. He used to send villagers running in terror, now they ask him to sign their pitchforks. To regain his ogre mojo, he strikes a deal with the crafty Rumpelstiltskin. When the pact goes wrong Shrek must confront what life would be like in Far Far Away if he had never existed. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina Director: Mike Newell Release Date: 28th May 2010 Hollywood finally makes an Arab the good guy. Oh wait, he’s Persian. Doesn’t count. Jake Gyllenhaal gets a tan for this adaptation of the long running, and jumping, video game series. He plays an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a world-destroying sandstorm. Also thrown into the mix is a dagger that can manipulate time. Producer Jerry Brukheimer is hoping this is another Pirates Of The Caribbean, i.e. a big budget much-loved pantomime. Sex And The City 2 Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth Director: Michael Patrick King Release Date: 28th May 2010 - JUNE - Killers Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Catherine O’Hara, Tom Selleck Director: Robert Luketic Release Date: 4th June 2010 From the director of The Ugly Truth, 21 and Monster In Law comes this action-comedy-thriller. Ashton Kutcher stars as an annoying hitman at the top of his game who falls for an annoying computer tech (Heigl) and decides to quit his job. Years later, he finds out that there’s a hit out on him, forcing him and his wife to run. Tom Selleck plays Katherine Heigl’s dad. The A-Team Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, ‘Rampage’ Jackson, Jessica Biel Director: Joe Carnahan Release Date: 11th June 2010 It’s been a long time coming. I remember reading casting rumours for this when I was at school. That was 15 years ago. In the end they simply cast the stars of 2009’s sleeper hits, Taken (Liam Neeson), The Hangover (Bradley Cooper) and District 9 (Sharlto Copley). But they fit. The plot sees a quartet of Iraq War veterans looking to clear their name with the U.S. military after being framed for a crime. ‘Rampage’ Jackson has an almost impossible task trying to fill the shoes of Mr. T, but he has plenty of charisma on offer. Get Him To The Greek Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Rose Byrne, Sean Combs, Elisabeth Moss Director: Nicholas Stoller Release Date: 11th June 2010 Russell Brand reprises his role as Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall in this story of a record company intern (Jonah Hill) with two days to drag an uncooperative rock legend to Hollywood for a comeback concert. It’s a spin-off, and is directed by the man behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but Jonah Hill is not reprising his role from that movie. The Karate Kid Starring: Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson Director: Harald Zwart Release Date: 11th June 2010 Would Jaden Smith be starring in The Karate Kid if it wasn’t produced by his dad Will Smith? Aw hell no. The plot has been switched around quite a bit for this remake. Now work pressures cause a single mother to move to China with her young son, where he embraces karate, taught to him by a master of the self-defence form. The new Karate Kid is a lot younger (11 years old vs. 23 years old). If the Mr. Miyagi role (now ‘Mr. Han’) is anything like the original, this’ll be a chance for Jackie Chan to show another side of himself on screen. It’ll have to go a long way to capture the charm of the Oscar nominated original. The director of Agent Cody Banks and Pink Panther 2 is in charge. Jonah Hex Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett Director: Jimmy Hayward Release Date: 18th June 2010 Jonah Hex, a scarred bounty hunter in the Wild West, first appeared in DC comics back in the 70s and a movie version has been talked about for just as long. The plot here sees him tracking a voodoo practitioner who’s bent on liberating the South by raising an army of the undead. John Malkovich is the one on madman villain duties – back where he belongs. Putting Josh Brolin opposite Megan Fox feels odd as they are literally at opposite ends of the acting ability scale. Meanwhile the director is an ex-Pixar animator whose only previous feature is Horton Hears A Who, and he’s currently being forced to do reshoots under the eye of a more experienced director (Francis Lawrence) thanks to an obviously concerned studio. Toy Story 3 Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Michael Keaton, Whoopi Goldberg, Timothy Dalton Director: Lee Unkrich Release Date: 18th June 2010 It’s been 14 years since the first Toy Story and 10 years since Toy Story 2. This time Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the toy-box collection are dumped in a day-care center after their owner, Andy, departs for college. Can they survive the playful but careless pre-school children? Grown Ups Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, and David Spade Director: Dennis Dugan Release Date: 25th June 2010 Adam Sandler has got the whole Happy Madison crew together for this ensemble comedy about five childhood friends / basketball teammates who reunite to honour their late coach at the lake house where they spent their younger days. Now they’re middle-aged, and have wives and kids in tow. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard Director: David Slade Release Date: 30th June 2010 New Moon had the third biggest US opening weekend in history, and the juggernaut rumbles on. Barely 7 months later comes this next installment that sees Bella choosing between her love for Edward and friendship for Jacob. Again. And deciding whether or not to become a vampire. Again. The actress who played evil vampire Victoria in the first two movies was unceremoniously dumped in favour of a bigger name (Bryce Dallas Howard). The only curiosity is that it’s directed by the not at all sappy David Slade (30 Days Of Night, Hard Candy). - JULY - Knight & Day Starring: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Maggie Grace, Paul Dano Director: Lee Unkrich Release Date: 2nd July 2010 His Tropic Thunder cameo showed Tom Cruise do comedy, so now with his career still reeling after the Scientology madness, feature comedy seems a sensible direction to try out. Hence Knight & Day, which centers on a lonely woman (Cameron Diaz) whose seemingly harmless blind date suddenly turns her life upside-down when a super spy (Cruise) takes her on a violent worldwide journey to protect a powerful battery that holds the key to an infinite power source. The Last Airbender Starring: Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz, Jackson Rathbone, Dev Patel Director: M. Night Shyamalan Release Date: 2nd July 2010 Nothing to do with farting, The Last Airbender is a live-action adaptation of the first season of animated TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender. It follows the adventures of Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, who must put his childhood ways aside and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations. It’s written, directed, and produced by M. Night Shyamalan. Anyone who saw his last movie, The Happening, will be nervous. This is the first of a planned trilogy. Predators Release Date: 9th July 2010 Starring: Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, Alice Braga Director: Nimród Antal Produced by Robert Rodriguez, based off his old spec script, Predators will star Adrien Brody as a lean mercenary. The R-rated movie is a direct sequel to the first film, as Aliens followed Alien. If Rodriguez lets him get near the camera, it’ll be helmed by Nimród Antal, who gave us Vacancy and the not-so-great Armored. The Predator will look as it did in the original film, but is joined by new creatures, such as Predator dogs and Predator falcons. Inception Release Date: 16th July 2010 Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ken Watanabe, Marion Cotillard Director: Christopher Nolan The director of the Dark Knight upsets everyone by making a movie that isn’t a Batman sequel. But wait, this looks great. And all of Christopher Nolan’s other films have been terrific too. And what a cast he has for this. Inception is a mystery story set within the architecture of the mind. In other words imagine being able to physically enter the world of someone’s brain and steal confidential information that exists only in their memory. Or something like that. Is director Nolan trying out Heath Ledger-lookalike Joseph Gordon-Levitt with an eye to him taking over the Joker role? The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Release Date: 16th July 2010 Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Monica Bellucci Director: Jon Turteltaub I don’t think anyone reading this saw Fantasia when it first hit cinemas in 1940 but you may still be aware that Mickey Mouse played the role of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Well Mickey has been recast as Jay Bacochel from Tropic Thunder in this Jerry Bruckheimer-produced live action spin-off which sees him coming under the wing of Nicolas Cage and fulfilling his magician’s destiny to stop New York etc being destroyed by evil forces. Think of Harry Potter without any kids. Looks like fun, with some cool sorcery visuals. Dinner For Schmucks Release Date: 23rd July 2010 Starring: Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis Director: Jay Roach From the director of Austin Powers and Meet The Parents comes the tale of ‘an extraordinarily stupid man who possesses the ability to ruin the life of anyone who spends more than a few minutes in his company’. It’s a remake of the 1998 France black comedy The Dinner Game, which was about friends finding the most pathetic guests possible for their weekly dinner party. Salt Release Date: 23rd July 2010 Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor Director: Phillip Noyce Action-thriller starring Angelina Jolie as a CIA officer accused of being a Russian sleeper spy. The trailer is unintentionally silly, with Jolie jumping off a bridge onto a moving truck then hopping from vehicle to vehicle with ease. But big names have been attached to the movie (Salt was originally to be played by Tom Cruise) so there must be something special about it? Little Fockers Release Date: 30th July 2010 Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Owen Wilson Director: Paul Weitz Gaylord Focker is now struggling to raise five-year old twins with his wife, the daughter of a retired CIA agent. The screenwriter says it’ll also deal with “themes of death and divorce and all these real things that as we get older, we start to think about, but in a really comical way.” Dustin Hoffman is reportedly out after arguing with the studio over the size of his part and the schedule. Harvey Keitel and Jessica Alba join the cast. Paul Weitz (American Dreamz, About A Boy) takes over from series director Jay Roach. Morning Glory Release Date: 30th July 2010 Starring: Harrison Ford, Rachel McAdams, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, Diane Keaton Director: Roger Michell Rachel McAdams plays an aspiring news producer trying to save a failing morning show by getting control of its feuding anchors (Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton). Ford has been picking terrible projects ever since Air Force One in 1997. This comedy doesn’t sound any more inspiring. And it’s opening against Meet The Parents 3, so is doomed. I wonder if he’ll be romancing McAdams in this, even though she’s 36 years younger than him? - AUGUST - The Other Guys Release Date: 6th August 2010 Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Eva Mendes Director: Adam McKay Ferrell and Wahlberg play NYPD detectives working in the forensic accounting department who rarely see any action. They idolise the city’s top cops (Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson), but when an opportunity arises for them to step up, things do not quite go as expected. Previous Adam McKay-directed Ferrell movies Anchorman and Step Brothers worked well and I expect Ferrell’s manchild will play nicely off Wahlberg’s macho aggression. The Expendables Release Date: 20th August 2010 Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke Director: Sylvester Stallone If you’re an old school muscle action fan, the nostalgia factor is about to be cranked up to 11. Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, and ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin all share the screen for this rumble in the South American jungle, backed up by cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jet Li, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke are also knocking about in there. The team has assembled to overthrow a dictator, they should be able to do that with pure awesomeness. Priest Release Date: 27th August 2010 Starring: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Karl Urban, Christopher Plummer Director: Scott Charles Stewart Not to be confused with Legion, which also stars Paul Bettany as an ass-kicking man of God, Priest is an action-horror which sees the titular character disobeying church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece. Based on the manga comic book from Tokyo! Pop, and produced by Sam Raimi, it’s been described as a “vampire western”. Not listed: MacGruber May 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Grown Ups Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, and David Spade This is how far I got before I came to the conclusion it would be the worst movie ever made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Grown Ups Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, and David Spade This is how far I got before I came to the conclusion it would be the worst movie ever made. Did you reach that conclusion with or without the Rule of Saw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Grown Ups Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, and David Spade This is how far I got before I came to the conclusion it would be the worst movie ever made. Did you reach that conclusion with or without the Rule of Saw? Saw doesn't continue to insist on giving Rob Schneider work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koete Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Good point, I forgot about the Rob Schneider Subtraction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delete Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Get Him To The Greek Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Rose Byrne, Sean Combs, Elisabeth Moss Director: Nicholas Stoller Release Date: 11th June 2010 Russell Brand reprises his role as Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall in this story of a record company intern (Jonah Hill) with two days to drag an uncooperative rock legend to Hollywood for a comeback concert. It’s a spin-off, and is directed by the man behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but Jonah Hill is not reprising his role from that movie. Yeah, this isn't confusing at all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackFetch Posted April 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Get Him To The Greek Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Rose Byrne, Sean Combs, Elisabeth Moss Director: Nicholas Stoller Release Date: 11th June 2010 Russell Brand reprises his role as Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall in this story of a record company intern (Jonah Hill) with two days to drag an uncooperative rock legend to Hollywood for a comeback concert. It’s a spin-off, and is directed by the man behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but Jonah Hill is not reprising his role from that movie. Yeah, this isn't confusing at all It's weird that Jonah Hill is in both movies, but playing different characters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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