Request thread (with scores!), updates, and random thoughts


D.W.
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I maintain that for a short break from films a bad TV showcase would be fun. Voyager episode Threshold fits that nicely.

I am going to guess they would not review that episode for the same reason they will not review Star Trek V, so let me just say...

Threshold taught evolution in a way that many rabid creationists would define evilution.

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We have zero interest in commenting on religious stuff and it has no bearing on what we'll be covering on the show.

Speaking of controversial powder kegs, any interest in historical or biopics? Not necessarily on the political/social issue ones (which could invite just as, "spirited" shall we say, feedback as religious topics) but on any that falls horrendously flat for whatever reason?

Babe Ruth bio pics alone can be considered a genre in of themselves!

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Considering it started as Twilight Fan Fict, 50 Shades of Shit.

As bad as it is, a lot of the problems with that film arise from more moral objections than quality which says something because it's pretty terrible. It's Tirades worthy but, since they haven't even done New Moon yet, I'd say wait until we know if it's a memorable bad movie or another one everyone makes fun of then is forgotten.

Now Jupiter Ascending on the other hand, that's screaming to be covered when it comes on on video. In fact, I'm sure Hannah has a jpeg handy somewhere showing how it's screaming.

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We have zero interest in commenting on religious stuff and it has no bearing on what we'll be covering on the show.

Speaking of controversial powder kegs, any interest in historical or biopics? Not necessarily on the political/social issue ones (which could invite just as, "spirited" shall we say, feedback as religious topics) but on any that falls horrendously flat for whatever reason?

Babe Ruth bio pics alone can be considered a genre in of themselves!

Hell, there's a ton of shitty historical films out there. If I haven't nominated it before, then Braveheart is the obvious example.

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While we're on the subject of movies featuring noted actors devouring the scenery, I know I have been a proponent of the horrendously awful (and unintentionally hilarious) film, Beautiful Creatures before. I would just like to reiterate how Tirades worthy it is. It's about a witch and the dull boy who falls in love with her. He seems so uninterested in everything going on that you can't help but think he's some kid who wanted to be an actuary who stumbled into the plot. But, really, it's a chance for a bunch of actors to camp it up big time. Tiradesverse Veteran Emmy Rossum is the henchwoman to Emma Thompson's alternatively strawman zealot and over the top witch. Jeremy Irons speaks alternatively like an over-emoting Shakespearean actor and someone who's paycheck is late and it's the worse thing ever. Then poor Viola Davis works with what's given to her but that's to be the magical black person who has no life but to solve the white people's problems.

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  • 2 weeks later...

They Saved Hitler's Brain: Just look at the title. Look at it. How can you not consider this movie? It was originally filmed as a shorter film but then the studio wanted to extend it nearly 5 years later so they hired a bunch of UCLA students to come in and film additional scenes. The two sets of film don't match and it just heightens how discombobulated the entire experience is. Also, Hitler's brain is actually a paper mache replica of Hitler's head that sits on a machine. And occasionally in the back of a car.

The Sword and the Sorcerer: Like many of the swords and sorcery films of the 80s, it feels like someone filmed their D&D session. That said, this one also has a hero. Who has a Three-Bladed Sword. That shoots other swords. Holy fuck. The special effects are as laughable as the acting but the real stand out is Richard Moll as a wizard.

Tales of an Ancient Empire: Technically a sequel to the previous film. I know I've already suggested it but barely went into the reason. What's the first rule of story telling? Show, don't tell. What if you made a movie where an omnipresent narrator barely even told, just refering to a major story event casually without us ever seeing it? What if you added in some terrible acting from Kevin Sorbo? What if the omnipresent narrator couldn't even explain a couple of embarrassing and confusing plot points? Yeah, this is probably one of the three worst movies I've ever seen.

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Yep. You can find They Saved Hitler's Brain in nearly any of those "50 ____ Movies" boxed sets they sell at Target or where ever for 10 bucks. Woo for the public domain. That's where I first saw it. You can always find some great fodder fora bad movie night in those cash grabs. Tales of an Ancient Empire has been on Netflix for years. Only troublesome one might be The Sword and the Sorcerer. The DVD is out of print but I'm sure you can find a copy somewhere.

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Maximum Overdrive: Stephen King directed a movie. It was terrible and he's even went on record as having been high the entire filming. It's also a movie about how everything mechanical wants to kill us due to a comet. If you haven't seen the ending, it beyond feels tacked on and the closest example to it would be Poochy's home planet needing him. Also, the lead evil truck has a Green Goblin head on it. For some reason.

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The Sword and the Sorcerer: Like many of the swords and sorcery films of the 80s, it feels like someone filmed their D&D session. That said, this one also has a hero. Who has a Three-Bladed Sword. That shoots other swords. Holy fuck. The special effects are as laughable as the acting but the real stand out is Richard Moll as a wizard.

On that note... how about Mazes and Monsters - the movie that was once seen as anti-D&D propaganda but is now shown as evidence that anti-D&D propaganda is stupid. No matter the message Tom Hanks still wants to distance himself from this movie as far as possible

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Maximum Overdrive: Stephen King directed a movie. It was terrible and he's even went on record as having been high the entire filming. It's also a movie about how everything mechanical wants to kill us due to a comet. If you haven't seen the ending, it beyond feels tacked on and the closest example to it would be Poochy's home planet needing him. Also, the lead evil truck has a Green Goblin head on it. For some reason.

Yeah, I still love Stephen Kings cameo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65GQg06SX90

Its better than the authors cameos in most movies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C83XnHsc-Ic

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