Request thread (with scores!), updates, and random thoughts


D.W.
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Even though it wasn't they winner of the poll, Titanic The Legend Continues.

As for Fresh Suggestions:

Beautiful Creatures

Road House

Conan The Destroyer

Any of the three Dungeons and Dragons movies

Night of the Lepus

Hackers

The Swarm

The Rage: Carrie 2

The Core

The Marine (c'mon, it John Cena)

Southland Tales

I remember in high school my physics professor told us that "The Core" had the worst movie physics of all time.

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I know you said you wouldn't cover it before, but I think the universe deserves a second visit- Highlander- The Source. You can try and fit it into the Zeistian Continuity!

Also Resident Evil: Afterlife. Paul WS Anderson is thoroughly underrepresented in your back-catalogue. It's the worst of a series of subpar films, with the most obvious THIS SCENE type moments and blatant continuity fuckups. Plus I'm pretty sure the Umbrella corporation and Shield Corporation are if not the same then at least separated at birth.

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Totally agree with you there, I want to hear the horror expressed by James as he realises that Highlander 2 was only the second worst in the series.

I don't mind the first Resident Evil even if it's barely about Zombies, but Afterlife is the most preposterous physics defying, bad special effects Courtney-a-thon ever. It belongs in the Tiradesverse.

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I've always looked at most of the films in that series as being nothing more than inoffensive popcorn flicks. There are moments of clusterfuck syndrome but there's never enough there to trully make them Tiradesverse worthy in my opinion.

Dude, the final fight alone in that film is some of the weakest shit I've ever seen in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycXgJ2lDT7s

Plus every single movie has a Highlander 2 level of reboot to it. Is the world a barren desert now? Do they want Alice to be an army of telekinetic clones or a lone very human action hero? Whatever the last movie ended with they tie up 5 minutes into the next one, and Afterlife is the fucking WORST of all.

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Resident Evil movies:

Wesker was incinerated in Afterlife, only to be brought back in Retribution. No explanation was given as to how he got better after being incinerated.

The whole of Retribution was one big continuity error, including the ending scene making the entire movie completely irrelevant. As to whether they belong in the Tiradesverse... that is up to Mr. Deaux and Mr. Wilkins.

But what I am really anticipating is the upcoming review of Bloodrayne.

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For the next time you guys decide to tackle a Michael Bay film, I'd like to suggest 2005's The Island. In addition to being a rather shitty movie, it's also product placed to capacity, disjointed, is practically Ben Kingsley Paycheck The Movie, and is almost completely plagiarized from an earlier bad film, Parts: The Clonus Horror.

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See, I thought the Island was a film that actually had potential, commercialism gone awry and all. I mean, the exact same themes were explored infinitely better in Never Let Me Go, and of course any message that could have been put across was so bludgeoned by Bay's cinematic hammer that it was unrecognisable but it's so rare that I can point to a Bay film that was trying something and might at some point had levels that I can't put it in the tiradesverse.

I mean on the scale of bad it's no Octopus 2: River of Fear. Which we watched this evening.

Also, I forgot to mention this because I was chaining old episodes last week but the preview for your upcoming work in 2014? So awesome. Can't wait!

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The Bloodrayne episode will be out pretty soon.

:buttrock:

We're going to tackle IKWKM relatively quickly

I know who killed me? The Lindsey Lohan movie?

I have never seen it, but I cannot imagine it is very good.

The pain you guys go through for our entertainment...

:fist:

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Totally agree with you there, I want to hear the horror expressed by James as he realises that Highlander 2 was only the second worst in the series.

The more I think about it, the entire Highlander series after the first one is shit. The Final Dimension almost feels tolerable at times but that might be because it's sandwiched between 2 and Endgame which are undeniably bad films. So, while I'm certain another certain franchise might be the next one on the "Transformers Marathon of Hatred" docket based on the 2014 trailer, I'd almost rather hear the reviews of these shitstorms.

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