Movie rules


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Let's see how many we can come up with.

1) Any cop that's not the main character is either a) a moron, b) a sociopath, or c) both.

2) Turning away from the road for even a second will always result in a car accident.

3) No one ever suffers hearing loss from a gunshot.

4) The only way to wake up from a nightmare is to sit up straight and gasp for air.

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8) Unless it's a movie produced by any of the various Christian film making studios, God and his various angels will usually be dicks.

9) Satan will usually be evil but this doesn't prevent him from being nice to you first, treating you nicely, all until you anger him and then you should start to run.

10) While we're at it, most deities are dicks. There will be a couple of nice ones in the middle there but they will usually die for the hero.

11) While we're at it, if your hero is an atheist at the beginning of your story because they have lost their faith, guess what they regain by the end of the movie?

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16) The maximum amount of time it takes to fall in love with someone is six hours.

17) The local news is on 24 hours a day and they're always talking about something important to the main character.

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18) Going back in time and killing Hitler will never succeed. It will just make the future worse or the time stream will just correct itself out if you don't do it first.

19) No one carries cash unless it's in a large sum in a suitcase or other carrying device.

20) You will never stop the bomb with a minutes to spare. It will always be with 1 or two left on the clock.

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28) No one has the same name unless it's played for laughs. Doesn't matter how common of a name Matt is, there is only one Matt.

29) There is no such thing as a small one room apartment since everyone, even a waitress living by herself, can afford a huge apartment with multiple rooms.

30) True love and the power of friendship will break any amnesia/brain-washing/mind-fuckery.

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31. Every single vehicle ever made is identical to the Ford Pinto and will explode in a massive ball of fire after the smallest crash.

32. It is against the laws of nature to simply kill someone, whether you are good or evil. You must dawdle for several minutes to give your opponent a chance to recover.

33. If you severely wound the bad guy of a slasher movie, you must never finish him off. You must instead run away so he can recover and come after you again.

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36) A loud outburst speech in your workplace where you quit will always be cheered by your former coworkers. If you have a workplace nemesis and they are not involved in said speech, this scene will include them giving you some kind of affirmation.

37) No matter who the person is, everyone is capable of having long stories or talking back and forth quickly. As well, everything will be somewhat funny even if making jokes would make no sense. In addition, no one talks about stuff that is not relevant to the plot. If you go onto tangents, congratulations, you wandered into a Kevin Smith film. Lucky!

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