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The Master

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Stavros on the insane difficulty of Farcry 3's challenges:

The "Kill this specific insanely dangerous animal with this archaic piece of supposed weaponry" challenges in Far Cry 3 are mad. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked me to smother a porcupine to death with my scrotal sack.

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Ian on first-world problems:

Here's a suitably mundane grumble!

Straight out of work, I catch the first of two trains to take me to Manchester for my training session at head office. I disembark to find my connecting train has been cancelled, so I have an hour in York to grab some dinner. With the time pressure taking priority over quality eaterie, I ducked into a Yates's. Quite the mistake. I proceeded to consume one of the worst lasagnes I've ever had. Back to the station, my replacement train has no announcer (although the train manager was stringently on hand to check tickets), and I may have to face the 90 minute journey without a beer.

Life is hard in the first world.

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Jack Fetch on Admiral Pike's hairstyle:

Because powdered wigs just went out of fashion again, and he wouldn't be caught dead in last years style.

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SuaveStar on Marvel crossing over with WWE:

Marvel's Insurrection. A UK only event, that will change the Marvel Universe, forever, but only in the UK, and nothing of real consequence will actually happen. Wolverine will appear*

*Card subject to change.

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SuaveStar on how DC Comics can un-out Nightwing:

Or go the Superman 2 route, where Superman just kisses everyone in America, to make them forget seeing Nightwing unmask. DC can call it one more kiss, and have variant covers of Superman swapping spit with each states senator in a special 50 issue variant cover. Then he finds out thanks the internet the whole world knows, and we can have a four issue mini-series of him going from pharmacy to pharmacy to find the right lip balm to get through this situation.

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Preston on the fuck-nuttery of DC Comics:

I fully expect at SDCC's big Six Man Tag Match next year, Bob Harras will turn on DiDio and Jim Lee, hitting them with big boots and leg drops, before ripping off his DC t-shirt, revealing he had been with Marvel, all along. Axel will then take the dirty pin on DiDio, before he, Quesada, Brevoort and Harras announce the formation of the M.W.O..

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Will on the acronym TNG, and Earth-2.net's inability to let a joke go:

And that's why we call this...

The Neverending Gag?

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DW on his job:

An Afternoon with Ludacris.

As many know, I manage a supplement store in Atlanta. Since we're so close to the airport, we get a lot of pro athletes and wrestlers as customers. We also have quite a few celebrities based in the area as regulars.

So Ludacris comes in today and gets some stuff. His total is X amount of dollars and 48 cents. He gives me the exact dollar amount and then digs through his pocket for some change. He pulls out a roll of $20 bills the size of a newborn infant, digs some more, then checks the other pocket. He pulls out a stack of $100 bills that is likely more than I will make in the next six months. He then puts that back and tells me to give him a second as he runs out to his car.

He then goes into a Cadillac worth more than everything I have ever owned in my life and possibly more than my very life as well. He's scrambling through his glovebox, under seats, everything. Finally he runs back in and says he can't find any change.

"Don't worry about it" I said, taking 50 cents out of my pocket and putting into the drawer.

"Good lookin out, man."

Then he grabbed his stuff and left.

This has been An Afternoon with Ludacris.

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SuaveStar on staying positive, Or SuaveStar on the mastery of the edit time-stamp (see the original post):

Happy birthday, Dubs! For you, I am going to try and be positive about something for 24 hours.

I lasted as long as I could.

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Will on the Captain America / NFL SuperPro mashup:

Oh good, they're getting use out of Cap's NFL Superpro armor from the 90s.

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Des on KnightWing's facial-hair confusion:

He said they'd skip time when appropriate.

Moustache. But yes, I agree.

Whoops. My brain went moustache=facial hair=beard.

We all look the same to you? Don't be beardist.

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Tom on the return of Heroes:

Wow, this is like digging up a horse they flogged to death just to give it another 13 lashes. You're basically whipping glue at this point.

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Des on his taste in movies:

Also, awakening the dead is not really high on my list of all-time worst things to do given the kind of movies I tend to watch.

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Tom on the potential special effects of The Flash TV show:

I hear they're consulting the special effects expert behind the Benny Hill show.

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Preston on the Alex Ross Archie cover:

Gosh, I hope Batman can get the cure for that Joker Toxin to Riverdale in time.

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Will, in a fit of brilliance, sarcastically distills the bullshit nature of the internet in a well-spoken manner.

There are many reasons I love humanity. One of those is that the human race, at it's core, embraces hope. Hope, in the end, is the ability to look at the future, no matter how dark the evidence may be, and say, "We can make it better." It is that ability that allowed us to do some things that seemed stupid at the time like create fire, harness electricity, or split the atom and become what we are. It allows artists to keep working at it for years despite not getting attention, in the hope that this is going to be the time they break through. A humanity without hope will fall apart and start cannibalizing itself. We, as a people, need hope to survive. In the end, even as the meteors crash down, destroying us, Humanity will still have hope that we meant something in the end. That we didn't go quietly into the night. Hope is salvation. Hope, even when past experience tells us that it's folly, is a human reaction. Even if the future comes and it's not the gleaming cities, we still have hope that the next future will be.

And then you have people who roll their eyes at hope and decide that everything's going to be crap anyway.

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Will on Josh Brolin's comic book movies:

I dunno, the remake of Oldboy wasn't entirely terrible and he wasn't the thing that made Men in Black 3 completely suck.

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Des on the official image of Wonder Woman:

Awesome! I just noticed she's standing in front of her jet!

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Will on Samuel L. Jackson starring in a Quentin Tarantino sci-fi picture:

Is it bad that I want it to be a Blaxploitation Sci-fi film so we can have C3P-Oh Hell No!

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Des on the death of Joan Rivers:

She died as she lived...during surgery.

*think of me what you will, but there is no better tribute to someone like her than a joke like that.

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Tom on childrearing:

A solid vote for a block of wood and some imagination, or failing that a job at the local textile mill.

Failing that it's 100% about the game libraries. That and the fact that there's really no difference barring the fact that your kids are saying Xbox a lot. If you tell them you got a PS4 when they specifically asked for an Xbox and then say "It's just as good" you might see a little part of them whither away inside. If they get bored of the Xbone and say they'd have preferred a PS4 then you can point out it's their own fault and make it an important lesson for them in consumer awareness.

This advice from my new book "How to blame your kids for everything".

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