Superman,Spiderman,Daredevil and Wolverine are in a bar...


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I just wrote this humor story for another forum, but I thought I'd share it here. Tell me what you guys think.

Peter Parker and Clark Kent are sitting in a booth in the VIP section. The bar is a bit more crowded then Clark really cares for, as a matter of fact he was sure it was over it’s capacity and is a potential fire hazard. Tomorrow he’ll have to report it.

“Hey! Hey! Are you even listening to me?” Peter asks slightly annoyed.

“Kind of hard not to” Clark says with a roll of his eyes.

“Well like I was saying, you don’t wear a mask right, but no one realizes that your Supe-.” Clark gives him a quick stare and Pete could see his eyes turning red. “Right and the worst part is you’re a reporter, you work with reporters. People who’s job it is to dig and uncover the truth and they can’t tell that your…” Peter catches himself before saying the word “Ahem um him” Clark was about to respond when Matt Murdock came over to the table. Using his cane to ‘find’ a seat next to Pete.

“Hey Matt here is blind and even he can see that you’re the ’boy scout’ ” Pete made the quotation marks with his hands as he said boy scout.

“How many times have I told you not to make fun of my disability? He’s right though it’s pretty obvious.” Matt says as he grabs the pitcher a pours a glass of beer.

“You forgot to play blind” Pete says with a smile. Matt lets out a sigh. Pete could be a real jackass at times.

“I thought Bruce was going to be here” Matt says as he takes a sip of his beer.

“He had some work to do” Clark says

“Work? Man all he ever does is work. He is a candidate for going postal the way he stresses. I can totally see him one day walking into Arkham and just unloading a Uzi in that place. All work and no play” Pete says with a smile. Matt chuckled a little but Clark sat there quietly.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with a little hard work. You should try it sometime” Clark says.

Pete just clutched his chest and said “Oww that really hurt my feelings…sniff…sniff” Clark just scowls at Pete as Matt looks up quickly and smells the air.

“Logan’s here” Matt says taking another sip.

“Well duh even I could smell him. I mean really you’d think a man with enhanced senses would bathe regularly” Pete says and both Matt and Clark laughed at that. Logan walks over to the table puffing away at his cigar.

“Hey Bub my enhanced senses include hearing” Logan says taking a puff and sits down next to Clark. Pete just shrugged.

“What are you going to do? Scratch me with your paws?” Pete says with a chuckle. Logan growls as reaches over grabs the pitcher of beer and starts to drink it while leaving the cigar in his mouth.

“That’s just gross, and have you ever heard of sharing? Like seriously I’m not splitting the bill if you drink all the beer again.” Pete says annoyingly. Logan raises his free hand and pops his middle claw.

“Aww man that’s really clever like I haven’t seen that before” Pete says with a roll of his eyes. A man in a well dressed suit walks over and stands in front of Logan.

“Excuse me Sir but there is no smoking in this establishment. So please could you put that out?” The man says nicely. Logan finishes the last of the pitcher lets out a loud bleach. Both Matt and Clark quickly cover their noses. Logan looks at the man puts up his fist and pops all of his claws. The tip of his claws stop right before the man’s chin.

“Bub I think you’ll make an exception for me” Logan says staring the man down.

“Um…well…yes, yes of course” the gentlemen says hastily and backs away.

“I’m the best at what I do!” Logan says with a smile.

“And what you do is get bad haircuts. I mean really what the hell is that? The guy from Flock of Seagulls had a better hairdo then that” Pete says as Logan just scowls at him.

“Hey Matt isn’t it the worst haircut you have ever seen?” Pete says and Matt just starts tapping his fingers on the table.

“You know Logan you really should put that cigar out” Clark says to Logan in a stern voice.

“Watch it Boy scout before I rip you a new one” Logan says with a grunt.

“Dude your claws aren’t cutting his skin. He’s freaking invincible!” Pete says and Clark nods with a little smile.

“Wanna bet?” Logan says cockily

“Hell yeah! I’ll bet my part of the bill.” Pete says

“I want in on this. If you cut his skin I’ll pay for your share next week” Matt says

“Yeah Logan I’ll take that bet” Clark says

“Hmph free beers and a chance to cut big blue you chumps are on.” Logan says. Clark puts his hand on the table Logan pops his middle claw and slams his fist straight down on Clarks hand. His Claw just bent back and didn’t even leave a mark on Clark’s hand. Logan lifts his hand and stares at it with his mouth wide open. His Cigar drops on his lap and starts to burn his pants. Everyone at the table bust up laughing.

“Dude that’s priceless! ” Pete says still laughing his ass off . The cigar starting a small fire on Logan’s pants, but Logan was still awestruck and wasn’t paying it any mind. Clark quickly opens his mouth and blows a short burst of ice breath at Logan’s pants. Putting out the fire and freezing Logan from his stomach to his knees. Which made both Pete and Matt laugh harder.

“Do you want me to bend it back?” Clark says to Logan trying to hide his smile. Logan scowled for a bit then cursed a little under his breath.

“Yeah” he says with a deal of anger.

“Uh-oh you better watch out Clark he might do a berserker barrage and get all of his claws bent” Pete says laughing so hard that he almost fell off of his chair.

“Well first you have to agree not to smoke on our night outs” Clark says with a smile.

“Grrr…fine…” Logan says

“Second you have to address me as Sir” Clark says prompting more laughter from Pete.

Logan let out another grunt then reluctantly nodded.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Clark asks

“Yes fine whatever” Logan says

“Yes what?” Clark asks.

“Grrrrr Yes Sir” Logan says

“Grr I’m the best at what I do!” Pete says imitating Logan “And what I do is get owned by Superman!”

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