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Missy

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Something I think any of the guys who have to review Saw will appreciate, from Cracked's "6 Movie Plots That Could Have Been Solved in Minutes":

#3. Saw

What Happened:

In one of this franchise's trademark ridiculously over-elaborate murder plots, the Jigsaw Killer shackles Cary Elwes to a pipe and makes him follow a series of clues to solve a bunch of puzzles so that he can win the ultimate prize of getting killed.

After all the pieces come together and the film hits its climax scene, Elwes's character, Lawrence, is faced with one final decision: cut off his foot with a hacksaw and then murder his cellmate or answer a cell phone.

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What to do, what to do...

While we don't want to go into too many spoilers that aren't already obvious from the fact that the movie spawned six sequels, it is worth noting that on the other end of the ringing cell phone is his wife and daughter and the entire city's police force, who are waiting for him to answer so that they can bust in and save everybody.

If he answers the phone, everybody lives, Jigsaw goes to jail and Wesley gets to safely return home to his princess bride. The whole movie, nay, the entire never-ending facepalm that is the Saw franchise, hinges on this one scene. His decision...

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Let's just say he'd make a poor podiatrist.

What Would Have Made More Sense:

There is one important element to this equation that we have yet to mention: how far away the cell phone is from Lawrence. Or should we say... how close it is.

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While we admit we're not MacGyver, you don't need to be any kind of Gyver to think up creative ways to reach something lying only (ahem) one foot away if a body part depends on it. Consider the fact that, because they are chained to the sides of the room, the characters spend the entire movie trying to reach nearby objects through various improvised means.

In fact, one of the opening scenes involves Lawrence's Australian cellmate using his shirt and a bathtub stopper to shimmy over a tape recorder that lies much further away than that phone does now. In the pivotal scene, we nod in approval when Lawrence smartly begins to remove his own shirt... and then sigh heavily when he fashions it into a tourniquet instead of a phone lasso. Meanwhile, the phone keeps ringing.

Hell, we realize Lawrence isn't in the right state of mind. But surely, instead of screaming and crying in abject horror like the great actor he isn't, the cellmate could have lobbed one of the various shards of glass or broken tiles at his disposal just to nudge the damn phone closer to the other guy.

Of course, nothing beats the real kicker: After Lawrence cuts off his foot and frees himself, he still doesn't answer the fucking cell phone.

Here's the rest of the article

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