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JackFetch

Game of Thrones

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The funny thing: There's still a Stark kid out there that I think even Martin has forgotten about.

Ha! My relationship to the show is so weird that when you said "Martin" I was like "okay, which one of these fuckers is Martin?" before realizing that he's the creator of the show...

I love the show and I only know like five characters' names.

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I refer to the Night's Watch guy that's always giving Jon shit as Commander Dickhead.

Ha! Not too far away from me. His buddy at the Watch is Samwise Gamgee to me. I know the last name Bolton, but they are officially Asshole Dad Bolton and Psycho Son Bolton. I didn't know that what's his name Khaleesi's blue ball buddy from the past few seasons was the Night's Watch guy's son because I didn't know what either of their names were.

When they were talking about Baelish owning the brothel, I was like "wait...doesn't Littlefinger own the brothel?" Then I discover they're the same person and I was like "damn...that was one of the characters whose names I thought I knew."

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There are these nightmarish things marching to murder everything. Meanwhile, Cersei doesn't want an arranged marriage. Very different stakes.

And yet, they are both written to be the end of the fucking world and we don't bat an eye. Great. Though I think a lot of it is simply a combination of her hatred of Margery and the idea of being married to teh gay.

Also, there's this. I was only able to pick out Brent Hinds when watching the episode, but the instagram picture and caption on it is pretty hilarious.

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Daenerys

Daenerys rides a Dragon. Discuss.



Also, does she have greyscale now?

Stanis

Burning your daughter alive. Cuntish.

Super exciting Dorne section!

Politics! Sisterly bickering! Jamie can't write!

Dorne? More like yawn.

Arya

Her section reminded me a lot of the stealthy following missions in Assassin's Creed II. Boring with way too long a wait until you kill someone.

As Episode 9s go: tame.

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Was it just me or were the extras a little too goofy during Cersei's walk of shame? I mean I couldn't stop thinking that the scene would be more horrific if they just watched her in silence.

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Ho boy...

Jon Snow is officially dead according to Kit Harrington which holy fuck, I think that, if true, kills a ton of fan theories.

That out of the way, holy fuck! Cersei's walk of shame was something else. On one hand, it's totally there for some of the fans to look at things and think of it as her comeuppance. Storywise, it works because it looks at the end like she's going to take what happened here and use it to fuck shit up.

Dany, I have no clue what they're doing there and I continue not to care.

Arya, I look forward to how they're going to work her story now.

Stanis's death is both fitting and disappointing. It feels it comes at the right time. On the other, I suddenly feel like a large amount of my time has been wasted following him. Still, glad it was Brienne that got to do him in.

So, was the entire Dorne plot thread this week just there to fill the running time?

I think Sansa got away. Good for her.

But seriously, that moment they killed Jon Snow. Jesus Christ! If it weren't for the fact that I remember that entire thing about a priest of the Lord of Light being able to Res a few seasons ago, I'd be 100% buying that he was dead. But Melisandre is hanging around Castle Black so more than enough time for her do that that voodoo she do. Maybe to make up for murdering a kid for no reason.

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Ho boy...

Jon Snow is officially dead according to Kit Harrington which holy fuck, I think that, if true, kills a ton of fan theories.

That out of the way, holy fuck! Cersei's walk of shame was something else. On one hand, it's totally there for some of the fans to look at things and think of it as her comeuppance. Storywise, it works because it looks at the end like she's going to take what happened here and use it to fuck shit up.

Dany, I have no clue what they're doing there and I continue not to care.

Arya, I look forward to how they're going to work her story now.

Stanis's death is both fitting and disappointing. It feels it comes at the right time. On the other, I suddenly feel like a large amount of my time has been wasted following him. Still, glad it was Brienne that got to do him in.

So, was the entire Dorne plot thread this week just there to fill the running time?

I think Sansa got away. Good for her.

But seriously, that moment they killed Jon Snow. Jesus Christ! If it weren't for the fact that I remember that entire thing about a priest of the Lord of Light being able to Res a few seasons ago, I'd be 100% buying that he was dead. But Melisandre is hanging around Castle Black so more than enough time for her do that that voodoo she do. Maybe to make up for murdering a kid for no reason.

I wouldn't take what Harrington is saying as gospel on that. What else is he going to say?

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A hell of a lot went down, so it succeeded as a finale, but some parts could have been executed better.

- I liked that Stannis sacrificing his daughter did more harm than good.

- Jumping to the battle being over was bullshit. I know the point was that they were hopelessly outmatched but give us a few battle shots.

- Sansa and Theon's escape was sloppy.

- Arya's assassination was brutal and her penalty was equally ironic.

- I have to think it being so obvious that Mycella was poisoned was on purpose to make the father/daughter scene more tragic.

- Tyrion and Varys trying to maintain order should be great.

- Cersei's atonement went on for a bit too long. It hit a point where I was a sympathetic to her and just kept going into excessive.

- The recap with Jon's uncle was a great bait and switch. Powerful moment to end the season on.

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They spent way too much money on cgi just to have nudity in that scene. Why not just film it where we don't see full body shots?

Jon Snow knew nothing until he saw that sign. Then he knew what was up. There is no way he's staying dead though. Melisandre came back when she did for a reason. The question is does dying and being resurrected relieve him of his oath? I really want to see him leave the wall and have adventures that don't involve ice and snow. Plus it gives him a reason to run into Samwell, which I'm 100% positive is going to happen.

Speaking of being resurrected, they practically beat us over the head with that new guard's identity.

I laughed when Reek threw that girl off the wall. What a satisfying death.

Which brings me to Arya. The way she brutalized that guy showed how far she has come. She wanted him to suffer.

The whole Dorne plot was a complete waste of time. I know it all led to the poisoning and possibly a war now, but It felt like they just wanted to give Jaime something to do for the season.

I have no idea what is going on with Daenerys. I like that she is on the run while her kingdom is having a civil war. She will have to fight her way back which gives her credibility.

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This show man...

...I just...

...I mean...

WHERE WAS GHOST!?!? You can pay for special tit-enabling CGI but not a Wolf/Dog to come and chew that little fucker in half?!?!

That finale just makes me angry. You kill off another beloved character in another rage inducing gut punch of a betrayal and waste my time on the most boring fetch-quest in TV history. One slutty pixie fighter does not an interesting family dynamic make.

If Seasons 6 doesn't show Hodor being COMPLETELY adorable I'm straight done.

Cersei's 'atonement' was pretty brutal though

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Just a few thoughts:

1. Jon Snow isn't dead. That much is apparent. With fire witch there for no other reason and that cryptic quote from earlier in the season from Aemon "Kill the boy and let the man be born." Last week he killed a fucking White Walker. He won't go out like a punk.

2. I'll believe Stannis is dead when I see his head on a pike.

3. One thing I have been incredibly certain of this whole time is that a Lannister would not be sitting on the throne at the end of the show. Now I am not so certain.

4. Daenarys went from having the most interesting part of her story since Khal Drogo was around to very little interest.

5. Arya: eh...who cares. Loved the violence, but I couldn't give a shit about this many-faced god nonsense anymore.

6. Sansa and Theon: interesting. Short shrift in this episode. Loved it when aggro whore got dumped.

If the next season is only Jaime and Cersei killing everyone in Westeros, I will be pleased.

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