S-T
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Deep into Season 3 of The Flash and the relationship between Iris and Barry is seriously creepy and cringeworthy. Joe West repeatedly refers to Barry as his "son," meaning that Joe's son is marrying Joe's daughter.
Um, ew?
Yuck.
This was avoided in the comics as Joe didn't raise Barry. You could have had them be next door neighbors and very close, without the super creepy vibe of a man's two children marrying each other.
Yes, I know they're not biologically related. But they were still raised in the same household, and Joe considers both to be his children.
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The Batman - This is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong movie, and it feels long. I thought about seeing this one in the cinema, but I took one look at the runtime and gave up that idea.
I loved what they did with The Riddler. It looks like this was heavily influenced by the Hush arc in the comics.
My one gripe:
SpoilerThe car chase between Batman and Penguin resulted in a freeway pile up that rivals the opening scene of Final Destination 2. There is no way Batman would allow that much collateral damage - especially this version of Batman, who eschews killing even murderous mobsters.
Overall, though, definitely worth a rental.
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I remember laughing at the scene in Freaky Friday where Anna Coleman is horrified to be in Jamie Lee Curtis' body. JLC was 45 when that came out.
I am three years older than that now.
Get off my lawn.
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Matrix Resurrections - The trilogy wrapped up the story nicely, so this is an obvious cash-in. That's fine. It gives me another movie to watch. But you really don't need to shatter the fourth wall by having the characters in the movie admit that this is a cash-in.
The Meg - This was much better than I thought it would be, though I would have given Ruby Rose a bigger role.
Honest Thief - What I saw of it I liked, but the DVD glitched out on me and I couldn't finish it. Fortunately each movie is only 83 cents with Redbox Plus.
The King's Man - Very different tone from the previous movies.
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Early lyrics, to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic:
He captured Harper's Ferry with his nineteen men so true
He frightened old Virginia till she trembled through and through
They hung him for a traitor, they themselves the traitor crew
But his soul goes marching on -
@Donomark and the hosts are correct about the racial overtones of the film. I thought when I saw it in 1999 that it was strange that a Black man was not discriminated against much more, given the historical setting.
The battle hymn of the republic is appropriate here with the villain being a Confederate general, because it was a Northern war song. An earlier version of the song referenced John Brown, who murdered a number of people in a campaign against slavery and was hanged for it. Brown's attack was one of the catalysts to the Civil War. (Though it would have happened without him.)
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Spider-Man: No Way Home: I called this "Fanservice: The Movie." But it was very well done and maybe my favorite Marvel movie.
I really wanted to see Tobey Maguire's version of Peter interact with JJJ from the MCU, and be stunned that the MCU's version of JJJ looks exactly like the Raimiverse version of JJJ, despite the fact that none of the Parkers are clones of each other.
SpoilerWas Tobey Maguire's character originally supposed to die after he was impaled by the Green Goblin? Because it sure seems like they intended for him to die, and then re-wrote the ending.
Dr. Strange is seriously OP.
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Little House on the Prairie. It's on Peacock. I don't remember much of it, since it has been over 35 years since I watched regularly in syndication.
Also, get off my lawn.
Also, digging The Flash. I wish I had got into this show years ago.
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The Eternals - It doesn't really make sense that they would not have stopped Thanos, especially after interfering in human affairs for thousands of years.
SpoilerPlus, the Celestials creating hundreds of new worlds that would eventually be populated by billions of sentient beings would kinda mess with Thanos' plan to stop the "Universal Population Bomb." It seems like Thanos' first target upon getting the power of the Infinity Gauntlet would be the Eternals.
I think The Eternals would be better existing in its own universe. They could always be brought in via the Multiverse.
It also makes no sense that the Eternals would not recruit the most powerful characters in the MCU to fight a potentially world-destroying threat. Dr. Strange would be very useful. So would Carol Danvers, who is powerful enough to at least go toe-to-toe with Ikaris by herself, and probably win. Even villains like the Abomination, the Vulture and Klaw would fight the Celestials out of self-preservation.I love the fact that Batman and Superman officially exist as fictional characters in the MCU, with one kid thinking that Ikaris is Superman.
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Scream 5: Did Sheriff Hicks have a son in the 2011 movie? I don't remember any indication of her being a mom, so including Wes is a pretty big retcon.
This franchise has always tried to make killers vulnerable rather than unstoppable beasts like Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers, but as I said before, if you're going to do that you need to show some physical consequences for the fights the killer gets into. Hey, how did you get that black eye and busted lip?
Dewey mentions his injuries and the long-lasting effects of those injuries, but Sidney and Gail have also also taken an enormous amount of punishment over four previous movies and don't seem to be suffering any long-lasting physical damage.
Anyway, I was digging it until the end, which I hated.
SpoilerToxic fandom exists, and it exists both from people who get unreasonably upset that their favorite franchise has been changed and from people who get unreasonably upset at any criticism of their favorite thing.
But this felt like they were going out of their way to make a movie to rant about their own fans. Not just of this, but of Star Wars and other franchises as well. And honestly I found it insulting. They seemed to think that all criticism is "toxic fandom," which is just bonkers.
Someone can offer reasonable criticism without being toxic. Someone can even offer very harsh criticism for comedic effect (see the Tranquil Tirades) without being toxic.
Also:
SpoilerI was surprised they killed off Dewey.
And:
SpoilerGiving Billy Loomis a daughter that no one has ever known about until now was even more forced than giving Sidney a brother in Scream 3.
And:
SpoilerThis movie suffers from Bullseye syndrome. Someone who has been severely injured and has been in the hospital for most of the movie hits a headshot on a moving target using a handgun, despite having no firearms training or expertise.
Nope. There's a reason police officers are trained to aim for center mass, and even then they often miss.
Also, was Amber wearing a bulletproof vest when Dewey pumped her full of bullets? Because that kills most people.
Her jump scare charge at the end was ridiculous. You take several bullets and get set on fire only to no-sell your catastrophic injuries in order to charge the protagonists. Come on, man.
And:
SpoilerI hate the abandoned hospital trope. No, you won't have an entire floor abandoned like that. Please stop doing that.
This made a ton of money, so I suspect there will be a Scream 6.
As I sat down to watch it, I immediately thought "I am looking forward to @dc20willsave and Skyler reviewing this for Earth-2.net: The Show."
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Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City - OK, you successfully filmed cutscenes from the game in live action. Congratulations.
This was not good. The Milla Jovovich movies (at least the first 4) were much better. Even the last MJ entry, which made no sense and abandoned continuity of the previous movies, was better than this.
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16 hours ago, Donomark said:
Streets of Fire: I got halfway thru and was called away for something, and didn't go back to it. I understand this was very influential on Japanese media like Streets of Rage and stuff, but this was so obnoxiously 80s that I couldn't get into it. Bad acting, bad dialogue, broad and vague plotting. Yeah, I don't regret not finishing it.
I guess you kinda had to be there.
Which I was. I am an old man. Get off my lawn.
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Contagion - I had nightmares early on in the pandemic, so I am glad I didn't watch this then. (Though I did watch Outbreak.) Very closely predicts several things about COVID-19 - the talk of social distancing, runs on stores and especially the conspiracy theories.
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Transformers: Dark of the Moon - It was bad. And the criticism I have of robots feeling pain and the "gore" that accompanies ripping a machine apart applies here too. If I took a sledgehammer to my toaster, it would not bleed or drool or puke. It's a machine.
But something occurred to me: I recently listened to the We Hate Movies podcast review of Law Abiding Citizen. One of them used an exaggerated accent to mock Gerard Butler. That was literally the voice of the soccer hooligan Autobots. This movie even ruins attempts to parody it.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Because I hate myself and want to suffer as much as possible. It's on Netflix.
Why would a robot fart? One of the little frenzy bots in Sam Witwicky's kitchen farted as it ran down the hallway. Jetfire farted too. And even if it did expel fire or hot gas, why does it sound like a human fart?
Also, robots feel pain. Why would robots feel pain? I realize Return of the Jedi did that a quarter century earlier, but why would a robot feel pain when wounded?
And why does eviscerating robots look like eviscerating living organisms? They have blood? They bleed from their mouths?
I don't need to go into much more detail, because The Real Protagonists already did that.
He knows where it is. If he finds it.
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Also...
SpoilerLeatherface boards a bus with a bunch of Millennials and Zoomers on their phones. They don't notice him until he is about 8 feet away. One of them looks at the obviously crazy man, covered in blood, wearing a mask made of human skin, holding a running chainsaw and says "If you try anything, you're canceled Bro."
I hate this so much. I am Gen X, and I remember the bashing of my generation in the 90's. I am so tired of the tropes about Zoomers and Millennials being glued to their phone to the point that they don't know what is going on. And the threat to "cancel" him makes them look even more stupid and lame - and totally unrealistic. And of course during this massacre we have people commenting on the live stream about how the massacre looks "unrealistic."
And no one would gang up on him, kick him in the groin, try to gouge his eyes out, grab his arms, whatever? This is one elderly man with a chainsaw. He should have been subdued. Not without casualties, but that's where his rampage ends.
This idiocy had to be written by a Boomer, who has completely forgotten all of the bashing of Boomers by their own parents and grandparents.
The more I actually think about this movie the worse it gets.
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Texas Chainsaw 2022: This is the second direct sequel to the original movie that erased all sequels in between from continuity. The first one was 2013, when a woman in her early 20's was cast to play a character who was a baby in 1974.
Because math is hard.
Anyway, Leatherface is at least 70 years old, and probably older. He's even stronger than he was then. Sure. Because that's how the human body works. I mean, come on.
And then this happened:
SpoilerThey brought back Sally from the 1974 movie. (Different actor, same character.) Then they turned her into a complete and total idiot. She has Leatherface cornered. He is dead to rights. She could easily kill him with her shotgun. She lets him walk away. Then in the next scene he butchers here in a completely anti-climactic death. This woman has been waiting nearly 50 years to confront this killer again, and she goes out in the most lame way possible.
Also, once again we have Hollywood not knowing how tools work. Chainsaws don't slice through thick wood beams like it's not even there. They certainly don't slice through metal sewer pipes like they aren't even there. If Leatherface found a lightsaber, OK, fine, but that's not how chainsaws work. Please find someone who is not totally sheltered to advise you on how tools work.
I know virtually nothing about tools, so if the error is so bad that I am picking it up, you need to do better.
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Happy Birthday!!
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Happy Death Day 2U: This is a repeat viewing. and I still have the same problem with the mid-credits scene that I had in 2019. It would not be the first time our government has done some really horrible things in the name of “science” but it still makes no sense.
Jessica Rothe is amazing and carries the film. Her scenes with her mom are incredibly touching. I noticed how red her eyes were in one of those scenes. Little things like that make a silly concept believable. I liked this movie a lot more than the first time I saw it. With that said:
SpoilerHer ability to jump out of a plane and land exactly in front of her “boyfriend” from the other universe stretches suspension of disbelief to the breaking point. Yes, I am nitpicking that scene in a movie about time travel and parallel dimensions.
While I was trying to find my post to link here, I came across this prophetic statement I made about Cabin Fever:
QuoteThe concept of a fast-spreading lethal virus is terrifying.
Little did we know that six months later…
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I have the Castlevania collection for Steam. It's much harder than I remember. Even Simon's Quest. Of course, I don't have the reflexes I did 32 years ago.
Now get off my lawn.
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The Next Karate Kid - You can't get someone younger than 30 years old to play a high school bully? Or younger than 40, at least?
Amityville Uprising - Wow this is terrible. The "acting" of the first guy stuck in the "acid rain" was laughable.
F9: The Fast Saga - There is no reason this needs to be two and a half hours long. And taking a car into space. Riiiiiiight. That sounds like something from an Austin Powers movie.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage - This should have been an R rated horror movie. I hate the characterization of Venom. Way, way too much comedy.
The Marksman - Liam Neeson carries an otherwise weak film.
What are you watching and enjoying?
in General Discussion
Posted
We don't talk about Bruno.
(My kids love that song and now I have it stuck in my head again.)