Every Film You've Watched in 2023

[Davedevil]

I think I watched that whole thing in one night. So good. I just might revisit it now, it's been a while.

[Dread]

Never Sleep Again is about as good as a "definitive" documentary on a film series gets. I thought Scream, Queen overstayed its welcome by about 40 minutes. Never Sleep Again, however, covers the whole series, but the section on part 2 is the most interesting and compelling part of the doc. Mark Patton comes across as a very sympathetic figure, which I think his own documentary doesn't do that well of a job on.

[S-T]

Started to watch The Mist. Interesting seeing three Walking Dead actors in that movie, though I really wish Melissa McBride had gotten more screen time.

I hated it when I watched it a decade ago. The anti-Christian propaganda irritated me and I thought the ending was unnecessarily bleak and cruel.

I wish there had been one actual Christian in the store to shut down Mrs. Carmody by quoting the Old Testament's condemnation of human sacrifice in Jeremiah 32:35 and the kings of Israel and Judah who were condemned because they caused their children to "pass through the fire." (They burned their babies to death in sacrifice to Molech.)

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Edit: Finished it. I was curious if it was as bad as I remember. It is worse. I hate it as much now as I hated it when I watched it in 2011.

Edited May 14, 2023 by S-T

[Donomark]

Best of Enemies:

A quick documentary about the late 60s series of debates between Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley Jr., and how the two men grew to hate each other. This is my kind of stuff, very nerdy, almost boring, but personally fascinating to me. 

[Dread]

Birdy: for another episode of Cage Dive

Daniel Isn't Real: watched this one again for an upcoming review (did the same last year, but we never got around to it). What a great little movie. I'll talk about it more on the podcast, but it was kind of important to watch for a work in progress I've got. The three central performances are incredible, but Patrick Schwarzenegger (yes, his son) is next level scary as the title character.

• Features: 45
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 5
• Rewatches: 3

[Donomark]

Kindergarten Cop: Directed by Ivan Reitman, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Another classic Arnie caper knocked off of my to-watch list. This one mostly bounced off me. It's way more akin to parodic "action guy deals with kids" genre that definitely would've probably been the trendsetter for it at the time. I was more invested in the main plot with the bad guy, but even that was rendered fairly thin. Arnold can do no wrong, but I always have a slight issue whenever he's portrayed as just some normal guy and not a big motherfucker. In this, he's Austrian born and he's from a family of cops, but it feels like it still could've been anyone. Commando, Total Recall, Predator...those are Arnie roles. He's the ubermensch, not anything close to an everyman.

What I did enjoy was his female partner played by Pamela Reed. That felt exceedingly fresh. A woman who was funny and competent and smart, but not a love interest (she actually has a fiancee so it's never even an issue). It's rare that you see a platonic Dynamic Duo in an action movie, let alone an Arnold film, and I really enjoyed that. Aside from that and the film's star, the movie had little to give me. Scenes like Arnold punching an abusive dad are fun, but you also feel totally manipulated. There's a disgusting scene where Arnold assures a parent that her son is only playing with dolls because he's practicing to look up girls' skirts (which is true), and the two share a sigh of relief. I came this close to turning the movie off after witnessing that. Usually products of a certain time don't go for the three-fer of being perverted, sexist and homophobic all at once.

[Missy]

To your point that this didn't need to be Arnold, that it could have been anyone, I agree. It's fondly remembered because "lol Arnie's with kids" and it came on the tail of Twins, but someone like Eddie Murphy or Robert De Niro could have easily slipped into the lead. However, with the aforementioned sexism, homophobia, and perverted jokes, one worries what "jokes" would have been added had the teacher been African American.

[Donomark]

Ooof, oh yeah. God. There's another gay joke or reference where some of the Mothers presume the new male teacher is gay because what kid of Kindergarten teacher would be a man? Then they see it's Arnold, epitome of male beauty, and instantly change their tune.

[S-T]

While Governor Schwarzenegger beating up the child abuser in Kindergarten Cop was meant to be an applause scene, it also continues the glorification of vigilantism in Hollywood, a right-wing populist theme I have ranted about on these forums before. And what makes it worse is that the Governor played a police officer. No sympathy for anyone who hurts a child, but we have due process for a reason.

[Dread]

Blood Creek: been meaning to watch this forever, It was good. Review forthcoming

• Features: 46
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 5
• Rewatches: 3

[Dread]

Well, it finally happened. I woke up with Covid 19. Since it is mild, I was all like "I can catch up on writing, and maybe read another chunk of that Joe Lansdale book. But, sadly, my brain doesn't work for reading right now. This shit is no joke. All visual media for me!!!!

Count Me In: a great documentary about drumming in popular music. 

Sinister Squad: I think I posted the announcement for this movie in the thread about Suicide Squad (the first one). It's like Zenescope comics version of Suicide Squad, the baddies are all fairy tale villains. Review forthcoming.

Riding the Bullet: never got around d to watching this when it came out. It never really gets going for me. Mick Garris calls it his most personal and best film, but I can't see it.

Spoonful of Sugar/Speak No Evil: reviews forthcoming. These were from earlier in the week, so I can't blamee Covid for forgetting to log them.

• Features: 50
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 6
• Rewatches: 3

[S-T]

8 hours ago, Dread said:

Well, it finally happened. I woke up with Covid 19.

Hope you feel better soon.

I had almost no respiratory symptoms with COVID-19 last summer, but I had nausea, fever, and body aches. Almost identical to the symptoms I had with the second dose of the vaccine, but not as bad.

[Dread]

13 hours ago, S-T said:

Hope you feel better soon.

I had almost no respiratory symptoms with COVID-19 last summer, but I had nausea, fever, and body aches. Almost identical to the symptoms I had with the second dose of the vaccine, but not as bad.

Thanks. I'm better today. Just a little wiped out. Some coughing, some sniffles. Thank god the brain fog is mostly gone. Man, I did not enjoy that at all. 

[Dread]

Police Story/ Police Story 2: since I was incapable of reading for several days, I knew the healing powers of Jackie Chan so I watched these. They're both fucking great and full of amazing action better than damn near anything you will ever see in the western hemisphere. And they're funny. Hard to pick which one I like more, but I think I might go with 2. The first one feels more about set-pieces while 2 has a more definitive story. Supercop (PS 3) isn't streaming anywhere, but I need to get my hands on that blu ray.

The Call: this is from about 20 years ago. Halle Berry plays a traumatized 911 dispatcher helping Abigail Breslin who has been kidnapped by a dangerous man (Michael Eklund) and is in his trunk for a good portion of the movie. It's tropey and dumb and not as good as the similar one from last year with Jake Gyllenhaal, but it was still decent. 

• Features: 53
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 6
• Rewatches: 3

[Dread]

On 5/10/2023 at 2:45 AM, S-T said:

I wish there had been one actual Christian in the store to shut down Mrs. Carmody by quoting the Old Testament's condemnation of human sacrifice in Jeremiah 32:35 and the kings of Israel and Judah who were condemned because they caused their children to "pass through the fire." (They burned their babies to death in sacrifice to Molech.)

Honestly, we all wish there were actual Christians to shut down people like her in real life, but here we are.

[S-T]

Rocky V: Rocky should have died at the end. They set up the brain damage angle, and then there are no consequences for getting punched in the face repeatedly, slammed into things and slammed to the ground.

Rocky and Tommy are allowed to have an extended, brutal street fight at the end of the movie and not one cop shows up until after the fight is over. Rocky is not arrested despite the fact that he was also a willing participant in the street fight and assaulted the stand-in for Don King. It's almost like there are no police.

All of the emotional weight of the brain damage was undone by Rocky Balboa 16 years later, though I can't blame this film for what comes after it.

[Donomark]

You may be aware of it, but Rocky was originally meant to die in the street after winning the fight. Stallone changed that ending cuz it sucked.

Fast X
It's funny, I looked back and saw that I never wrote down my thoughts on seeing Fast 9, which I saw in theaters with a friend. Briefly, that film is one where the series absolutely jumps the shark. Not strictly because they go into space, but because the series becomes so meta that it openly takes itself far less seriously. I think this began happening after Paul Walker died, because while Fast 6&7 were definitely OTT, there was still a grounding to the proceedings, if only just. The third act of 7 absolutely began to lose its mind, but it keep on the right side I feel. By Fast 9, not only are they commentating on the ridiculousness of the plot, they're actively forgoing making the plots believable, and ditto for the characterization. Also Vin Diesel took himself WAY too seriously, throwing out all the natural charisma he has for the role of a stoic, silent superhero. That's not Dom from the series, that's...IDK, Bloodsport or some shit. He was the only one in the movie who was entirely humorless, but the plots now revolve round his character and the vortex he creates, and it really sapped the energy from the movie.

Fast X is an improvement. Right off the bat, Diesel plays Dom happier, more at ease and more mature. There's a glint in his eye that'd been missing since the first film. He's still Mr. Superhero, but there's a touch more flexibility in his performance. I think all the actors are having a blast, and it helps because as a Part 1 of ?, it watches like Infinity War where the characters are all separated and given things to do. Some characters are brought in rather organically, and it feels less contrived (mostly). Jason Mamoa is unquestionably the best series villain with the best gleefully flamboyant performance. He's chewing the scenery up like it's his last meal, and it's fun! Brie Larson is also really good too, although too many new characters are simply related to previous characters.

The series by this point is a soap opera, it's a telenovela. You either roll with the incredulous action and twists, or you don't. For the most part, I had fun, although two scenes nearly broke me. One involved the very last scene before the credits, and the other was the ease of how Cypher escaped her medical bed. That was one of the stupidest, most conveniently placed scenes I'd ever witnessed in my life.

[S-T]

7 hours ago, Donomark said:

You may be aware of it, but Rocky was originally meant to die in the street after winning the fight. Stallone changed that ending cuz it sucked.

I never knew that. I would have preferred that ending. It makes more sense in the context of the story and the brain damage Rocky suffered over the years. They set up the brain damage angle and did not follow through.

[S-T]

Cocaine Bear - Wow this was stupid.

[Dread]

Antman Wasp Quantumania: I thought this was upper tier Marvel. Still took two sessions to watch it. Probably 20 minutes too long. Interesting to see how they're going to play this now that they have a decent villain, but the actor is a piece of shit.

• Features: 54
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 6
• Rewatches: 3

[Donomark]

Falling Down: Directed by Joel Schumacher, starring Michael Douglas

Been meaning to watch this for a long time, I hadn't ever really heard of it until a girlfriend recommended it to me a few years back. 

To be honest, while the film is a really clever idea of a story, neatly directed by Joel Schumacher (Batman and Robin WASN'T HIS FAULT PEOPLE), I think it suffers from a problem it only could recognize decades later - and not at the time in 1993. The movie doesn't really view Foster as a threat, at least in the same way as people who aren't Cishet white men view him. 

I think Ebbe Roe Smith's script is confused. We start off with Foster being racist towards the Korean guy in an explicitly racist way, demanding that foreigners present gratitude towards (white) America. This scene is buttressed by incredibly stereotypical chicano gangbangers menacing him. So far, the antipathy Foster shows towards the world is racialized. 

The complication starts when he encounters and eventually kills the nazi guy. Just as an aside, I've grown to dislike movies where protags kill people with nazi beliefs, as it only works to absolve and separate their politics. A similar scene bothered me in the first Kingsmen movie, which justified Colin Firth killing a church full of people. But in Falling Down, we've got a nazi archetype rendered in crayon, killed by Foster in what was initially defense but ultimately cold blood. This works to make Foster not as bad as that guy, both in his own mind and the view of the movie, for its own sake or sake of the audience's piece of mind. That's cowardly. If he can terrorize a Korean shopowner but kills a cartoon nazi, that means that his racism against the shopowner was justified, in the movie's eyes. It's one thing for himself to see a difference, but with that scene the movie tries to have it both ways.

That's more of a technical read of the character, but on the whole, while Michael Douglas did a fantastic job - I was never behind this guy. The movie wants to you be, at certain instances. Not ultimately, but not completely against him either. But no, fuck this entitled, murderous, wanksty douchebag. He's every type of Repub scum that walks around today complaining about every little thing not having its back broken to conform to what he likes and is used to. I found the movie interesting, and Robert Duvall was terrific. Douglas was terrific. But at the same time, the failure to recognize the type of main character it was presenting frustrated me. 

 

[S-T]

The Call - Tobin Bell is in this movie, and he utters the line "I want to play a game." I say this for your benefit @Missy. It isn't a Saw ripoff, though. It was... OK.

Justice League X RWBY: I didn't like it. I really don't like the anime art style. Personal preference.

[S-T]

On 6/1/2023 at 11:09 PM, Donomark said:

If he can terrorize a Korean shopowner but kills a cartoon nazi, that means that his racism against the shopowner was justified, in the movie's eyes. It's one thing for himself to see a difference, but with that scene the movie tries to have it both ways.

I thought the same thing when I re-watched it three years ago. They want to have it both ways. No, D-Fens is a villain. You can't redeem him by having him kill a gay-bashing neo-Nazi. Especially given how he treats his family.

I was in high school when this came out, and my co-workers at the supermarket joked that D-Fens reminded them of me because I also had a flat top and glasses. I can't do the flat top these days, as it would look silly with the bald spot and receding hairline.

[Dread]

Shit, I've definitely missed some, but just in the past two days:

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: this one had a lot more of the different animation styles side by side and it did it beautifully. The writing is good, for the runtime of what we are given. I loved that we saw Spider-Gwen's story (a character I don't like in the comics but love in these movies) and the drumming thing in the intro was one of the coolest things I've seen in a  movie in a  long fucking time. That all said, this should have had a "Part 1" attached to the title. Otherwise, it's a bad look to do To Be Continued after 2 hours and 20 minutes of a kids' movie. I loved what I saw, but I walked out pissed off.

Knock at the Cabin: marketing issues aside (and they are big issues), I thought this was awesome. Dave Bautista was actually incredible in this. So was the little girl, and both of the dads. Great acting. The movie is damn near note for note perfect as an adaptation. I see why Shyamalan went with a different ending than the book, but I don't like his ending. Still, this is a banger. 

• Features: 56
• Shorts: 
• Documentaries: 6
• Rewatches: 3

[Donomark]

LOL A lot of people have reacted "WTF" at the cliffhanger ending. I went in knowing it was part 1 of 2, and just figured it was public knowledge.