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The Master

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Thing was, it was a just a hook in his lip, no bait trapped in there or anything. I'm still trying to figure out how this happened.

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I'm all for making money in creative ways, but this is taking advantage of peoples' deeply rooted religious beliefs. And though I'm a staunch atheist, I find that repulsive, mostly because (I'm guessing) it will be older people with limited incomes who use this so-called service.

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I'm all for making money in creative ways, but this is taking advantage of peoples' deeply rooted religious beliefs. And though I'm a staunch atheist, I find that repulsive, mostly because (I'm guessing) it will be older people with limited incomes who use this so-called service.

Well, coming from someone who's been raised in a deeply-religiously-rooted family and known countless other families of the type (including older people with limited incomes), I find it laughable. One rather obvious flaw is that anyone who'd be enough of a believer to want to pay for a service like that would never entrust their pet to someone who professes that they will not be part of the rapture, despite the fact that they 'know' that it's coming. That might sound a bit harsh and judgmental, but that's the way it works. My grandparents wouldn't want to pay for a service run by people who essentially state that they are purposely going to hell.

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I'd like to round up everyone who believes in the rapture and ask them to step into my homemade rapture machine...

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I'd like to round up everyone who believes in the rapture and ask them to step into my homemade rapture machine...

Which, ironically, would make the government have you step into a gas chamber machine...

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I'd like to round up everyone who believes in the rapture and ask them to step into my homemade rapture machine...

Which, ironically, would make the government have you step into a gas chamber machine...

Which is ironic because the government is populated by people who believe in the Rapture. Saved!

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I just got busted eating a chocolate chip cookie by my sons. I faked a heart attack to get out of it and hit my head on the kitchen counter.

Which would have already hurt if I didn't have an adjustible orange belt around my head with a plastic screwdriver secured in the front.

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I just got busted eating a chocolate chip cookie by my sons. I faked a heart attack to get out of it and hit my head on the kitchen counter.

Which would have already hurt if I didn't have an adjustible orange belt around my head with a plastic screwdriver secured in the front.

Our lives are different.

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Surely they only have to worry if their pet is athiest or muslim or whatever?

I can hear the copy now:

Narrator (spoken with a firm, deep voice): Everyday it seems the world grows more violent [insert images of various wars]. And with the rapidly changing environment [insert images of hurricanes], and the world economy on the brink of collapse [insert images of foreclosed houses, the homeless], it seems as though The Rapture is truly at hand. [Narrator's voice softens] But as a good Christan, you rest easily because you know your place in Heaven is secure. [Narrator's voice deepens] But what about your beloved companions; will they be welcomed by God Almighty? Though your household might be Christian, who's to say your four-legged friends weren't born into non-Christian homes and kennels [insert images of Jews and Muslims taking dogs out of cages to sell to Christian families]. [Narrator's voice perks up, and a white light shines on the dogs and cats] Well now you don't have to worry! Because with our Pope-approved Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, you'll be able to ensure your pets' place at your side in the afterlife [insert image of a halo-wearing dog bringing a crime-free newspaper to his angelic master]. For just four easy payments of $49.95 you'll receive a vial of holy water, prayer sheets, and, as an added bonus, a gold-plated water dish! And if you call in the next ten minutes, we'll double the offer! That's right! You'll receive two vials of holy water, two sets of prayer sheets, and two gold-plated water dishes! Don't let this offer pass you buy, because we never know when The Rapture might strike, and you don't want your faithful friends... [insert images of stray dogs and cats roaming empty streets] left behind!

[Narrator's voice speeds up] Please add $7.95 for shipping and handling. If you're not fully satisfied with the Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, please return the unused contents for a full refund (minus shipping and handling). Please allow six to eight weeks for delivery. We're not responsible if The Rapture takes place before your Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™ can be delivered. CALL NOW!

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I just got busted eating a chocolate chip cookie by my sons. I faked a heart attack to get out of it and hit my head on the kitchen counter.

Which would have already hurt if I didn't have an adjustible orange belt around my head with a plastic screwdriver secured in the front.

Our lives are different.

You don't like cookies?

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Surely they only have to worry if their pet is athiest or muslim or whatever?

I can hear the copy now:

Narrator (spoken with a firm, deep voice): Everyday it seems the world grows more violent [insert images of various wars]. And with the rapidly changing environment [insert images of hurricanes], and the world economy on the brink of collapse [insert images of foreclosed houses, the homeless], it seems as though The Rapture is truly at hand. [Narrator's voice softens] But as a good Christan, you rest easily because you know your place in Heaven is secure. [Narrator's voice deepens] But what about your beloved companions; will they be welcomed by God Almighty? Though your household might be Christian, who's to say your four-legged friends weren't born into non-Christian homes and kennels [insert images of Jews and Muslims taking dogs out of cages to sell to Christian families]. [Narrator's voice perks up, and a white light shines on the dogs and cats] Well now you don't have to worry! Because with our Pope-approved Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, you'll be able to ensure your pets' place at your side in the afterlife [insert image of a halo-wearing dog bringing a crime-free newspaper to his angelic master]. For just four easy payments of $49.95 you'll receive a vial of holy water, prayer sheets, and, as an added bonus, a gold-plated water dish! And if you call in the next ten minutes, we'll double the offer! That's right! You'll receive two vials of holy water, two sets of prayer sheets, and two gold-plated water dishes! Don't let this offer pass you buy, because we never know when The Rapture might strike, and you don't want your faithful friends... [insert images of stray dogs and cats roaming empty streets] left behind!

[Narrator's voice speeds up] Please add $7.95 for shipping and handling. If you're not fully satisfied with the Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, please return the unused contents for a full refund (minus shipping and handling). Please allow six to eight weeks for delivery. We're not responsible if The Rapture takes place before your Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™ can be delivered. CALL NOW!

Add a "Furry friends we put the sin back in the bin" and you got yourself a product.

Also, Des, Stavros is different, I think he's a jaffa cake man.

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I'd like to round up everyone who believes in the rapture and ask them to step into my homemade rapture machine...

Which, ironically, would make the government have you step into a gas chamber machine...

Which is ironic because the government is populated by people who believe in the Rapture. Saved!

Heh. Down here in Texas they say the exact opposite.

Everyone always believes that the government is populated by whichever faction they don't like.

I can hear the copy now:

Narrator (spoken with a firm, deep voice): Everyday it seems the world grows more violent [insert images of various wars]. And with the rapidly changing environment [insert images of hurricanes], and the world economy on the brink of collapse [insert images of foreclosed houses, the homeless], it seems as though The Rapture is truly at hand. [Narrator's voice softens] But as a good Christan, you rest easily because you know your place in Heaven is secure. [Narrator's voice deepens] But what about your beloved companions; will they be welcomed by God Almighty? Though your household might be Christian, who's to say your four-legged friends weren't born into non-Christian homes and kennels [insert images of Jews and Muslims taking dogs out of cages to sell to Christian families]. [Narrator's voice perks up, and a white light shines on the dogs and cats] Well now you don't have to worry! Because with our Pope-approved Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, you'll be able to ensure your pets' place at your side in the afterlife [insert image of a halo-wearing dog bringing a crime-free newspaper to his angelic master]. For just four easy payments of $49.95 you'll receive a vial of holy water, prayer sheets, and, as an added bonus, a gold-plated water dish! And if you call in the next ten minutes, we'll double the offer! That's right! You'll receive two vials of holy water, two sets of prayer sheets, and two gold-plated water dishes! Don't let this offer pass you buy, because we never know when The Rapture might strike, and you don't want your faithful friends... [insert images of stray dogs and cats roaming empty streets] left behind!

[Narrator's voice speeds up] Please add $7.95 for shipping and handling. If you're not fully satisfied with the Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™, please return the unused contents for a full refund (minus shipping and handling). Please allow six to eight weeks for delivery. We're not responsible if The Rapture takes place before your Christian Conversion Kit for Furry Companions™ can be delivered. CALL NOW!

That would totally work if not for the fact that most Christians believe that animals don't have souls in the first place.

Charlie Brown was right; everything's become too commercial.

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I suspected what the difference would be, but since the images were the same, I had to Google it to make sure. And sure enough, Microsoft has updated the Polish site so it matches the US version.

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Spot the difference between the Polish, and North American version of this Microsoft site.

North American

Polish

It seems the world has a lot farther to go.

I wonder if that's because they wanted to have a guy in there who looked Polish, and they just picked the one in the middle? I don't know what percentage of Poland's population is African, but it's probably a lot less than in the U.S.

I'm always a little lax to jump to the "OMG RACISM!" card.

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I suspected what the difference would be, but since the images were the same, I had to Google it to make sure. And sure enough, Microsoft has updated the Polish site so it matches the US version.

I guess when it's Kevin Rose that first tweeted it, something got done in a hurry. Also, it was such a bad photoshop it was funny.

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