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D.W.

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The Dragon Warrior aka The One Warrior: So, this is an action movie starring Jason David Frank. First off, the backcover claims that it is based off, "A Variety of Popular Video Games." If by that, you're pretty positive that the writer played a few video games and decided, "Hey, what if I make a movie where it's just the protagonist going to place to place, fighting things!" From there, it just gets more silly. Jason David Frank obviously still never grasped actiing in the last few years and at least one supporting actress who might have forgotten how facial muscles work. Then you add in the sub-SyFY original film effects and the "twist ending" and it just gets so very bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUiKIPmJxk0 

Edited by dc20willsave

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No, it's just a pretty bad movie. I think the back cover just figured that someone would buy the movie if it was based off a video game and that someone would remember when Dragon Quest was called Dragon Warrior.

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 Freaky Fridays ,a blog that looks at bad paperback thrillers, recently posted about "The Glow." Which talks about the dangers of jogging, not heatstroke or dehydration but of geriatric cults which drain the blood of younger people. This is the rare entry that had a movie adaptation. 

 

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If not for the Milla Jovovich corollary to the Kate Beckinsale rule, Resident Evil 6 would be Tirades-worthy.

This is terrible. A tangled jumbled mess.They have retconned it to oblivion. Nothing that is happening makes any sense.

What is Umbrella's goal at this point? They went from wanting to make money from bio-weapons to wanting to wipe out earth's population because there are just too many people. Sure. 

There was one point where they put Alice in a deathtrap instead of, you know, shooting her in the face at point blank range. This is a woman who has displayed unbelievable fighting prowess and at one point had godlike powers. I yelled out "kill her!" while watching that scene.

Yes, Scott Evil has a point. The only time I ever want to see the main protagonist of a movie in a deathtrap is if Jigsaw is the one who built the trap.

This should have ended after the second movie. Alice is the biggest Mary Sue ever.

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It's realistically the only way the show can continue now.  It's how I always wanted us to go eventually because I hate when it feels like work.

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Con-Air is a GREAT movie.

Silly, yes, but so great.

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Do we have a timeline on the next episode? I saw a Twitter post on 8/4 that you had never seen such puppetry. 

Whenever it goes up is cool. The amount of work you guys do, with no pay, to provide dozens of hours of entertainment is unreal. 

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I'd estimate we probably have two more episodes getting done before the end of the year.  To be completely honest, no idea what next year holds.  

My life, in particular, is set to go through a lot of changes if things pan out the way I'd like them too, which would ultimately mean that at some point we stop doing the show.

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21 hours ago, D.W. said:

My life, in particular, is set to go through a lot of changes if things pan out the way I'd like them too, which would ultimately mean that at some point we stop doing the show.

Oh, well that's a huge disappointment. I hope Twilight 4 is one of those episodes this year.

I do hope you reconsider ending the show.

Obviously a monthly show is out of the question, and from how it sounds maybe even quarterly is out of the question. Maybe DW and @James D. can be Earth-2.net's version of The Rock. You show up once a year at WrestleMania, drop a People's Elbow on a terrible movie, bask in the glory and the cheers and then take off for another year.

But no matter how it goes, we have 70+ episodes of the Tirades we can go back to. I actually just listened to the Revenge of the Fallen episode again last week. Thanks for everything.

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To clarify, I'm not going to stick a knife in the thing tomorrow.  There were times in the past that I wanted to stop doing the show completely for much more serious reasons.  I actually quit like, three times before but I came back so quickly no one noticed.  Other times when I wanted to stop and just kept going because I had this dumb perception that it was the only thing James and I consistently got to do together and that he'd have no reason to be friends with me anymore if we stopped. 

As I get older, it's become apparent to me just how much of our lives we've devoted to this thing.  I came up with the idea for the Tirades Wiki back when I was still living in Maryland and that was SIX years ago.  That's a lot of time I've spent on the show, well, frankly, not working on other things in my life that I probably should have.  I've also had to consider how badly my desire is to ineloquently curse at movies into the rest of my 30s.  I can absolutely put "10 years of audio editing" experience on a job application now (and just did a couple days ago), but I don't know if I'd actually want any prospective employers to actually hear that work, especially the older shows.

If I get the job I want, I have to stop the blog, the Youtube, and yes, I'll have to also stop doing the one remaining thing I still contribute to this site.

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On 9/14/2017 at 6:41 PM, D.W. said:

If I get the job I want, I have to stop the blog, the Youtube, and yes, I'll have to also stop doing the one remaining thing I still contribute to this site.

That's perfectly reasonable. You looking to be a games journalist?

My own blog doesn't interfere with my work or have anything to do with it, but I've had people try to get me fired anyway because they don't like my opinions.

Well, we have 7+ years of archives to enjoy.

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2 hours ago, S-T said:

That's perfectly reasonable. You looking to be a games journalist?

That's the goal, yeah.

I'd have to stop doing my own stuff because all of that focus would go elsewhere.  I don't think they'd mandate that I stop doing it but there'd be no point since no one visits it anyway.

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Ok, I just put Breaking Wind at the top of my Netflix DVD queue.

So if you do cover it, I will be able to comment on it.

I feel dirty.

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1 hour ago, S-T said:

Ok, I just put Breaking Wind at the top of my Netflix DVD queue.

So if you do cover it, I will be able to comment on it.

I feel dirty.

From the wiki:

Any comedies (Yes, most of them are bad. A two hour podcast with us saying "this wasn't funny" over and over is worse.)

 

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