The Punisher v The Joker


Who wins...?  

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Place: abandoned warehouse/docks [New York City]

Conditions: Rainy

The Players: One fateful afternoon turned Frank Castle from a loving father and husband into the one-man killing machine simply known as The Punisher. Using his extensive military training and Vietnam experiences to his advantage, Frank has taken up a never-ending war on crime. He has murdered everyone he deems a threat to society (or himself), including children and old men. No one is safe. With Castle, there are no courtrooms or revolving/deadlocked/corrupt legal systems. There is but one sentence: death. You sell drugs, you die. You rape, you die. You murder, you die. Castle knows how his war will end -- with his own death -- and he's content with that knowledge, because he knows, along the way, he will have murdered countless mobsters, punks and other degenerates.

Much like Frank Castle, all it took was one ill-fated day to turn a down on his luck comedian into The Joker. Driven mad by the death of his pregnant wife and a plunge into a vat of toxic chemicals, the unnamed comedian made it his mission to take revenge upon the man he deemed responsible for his colorful transformation: Batman. With a fractured mind and a lust for murder, The Joker has slain thousands upon thousands of innocent people -- including Jason Todd/Robin and Commissioner Gordon's second wife -- and won't stop until someone kills him.

Set-Up: Moments before Castle can leap from the rafters and break up a hefty drug transaction, The Joker unexpectedly strolls into the warehouse. Castle holds his position, realizing the clown-faced lunatic and hardened mobsters might kill each other -- thus doing his job for him.

Despite the mobsters' twitchy fingers and the guns trained on him, The Joker rambles on and on about branching out and adopting a second city to call his own. (While he casually circles the men, a faint powder fills the air.) And if he's going to open a new base of operations, he needs money. Before too long, but not before The Joker has finished his ramblings, everyone around him drops dead from the poisons fumes. Thinking it's over, The Joker casually grabs a briefcase full of money (dropped by one of the now dead mobsters) and heads outside.

Quickly taking a position upon the rooftop, Castle steadies a sniper rife and takes aim at the back of The Joker's skull. However, Castle suffers a blow to the back of the head just as he pulls the trigger. (The Joker cackles madly as the bullet harmlessly whizzes by.) Enraged, Castle quickly rises to his feet and takes a moment to survey the curvy Harley Quinn standing before him. Thinking she has him off guard, Harley lunges at The Punisher. Heartless to the end, Castle pulls a knife from his hip and stabs the woman in the throat. Quinn grips the gushing wound, staggers backwards a few steps and slumps to her knees. A frown crosses her ghost-white face as she gurgles a few harsh words for The Punisher. And, without hearing so much as one last venomous joke rattled off by her insane lover, Quinn falls dead -- face first -- into a pool of her own blood.

After yanking the knife from Quinn's throat, The Punisher climbs down from the rooftop. Too much time has passed since he last saw The Joker, so all Castle can do is head in the direction he last saw The Joker heading. It isn't too long before Castle rounds a corner and is smacked in the face with the briefcase. Rattled for the second time, Castle looses his balance and falls onto his butt.

Seizing the moment, The Joker pulls a gun from his pocket and places it against Castle skull. However, before he can pull the trigger, he feels the cold steel edge of a blade being pressed into this throat...

[How does this end...?]

Note: Batman, nor anyone else, can interfere until after the battle is said and done.

Edited by Master Yoda
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Joker's shocked to see Castle react as fast as he did and Castle destroys his neck. In the time it takes for him to die, Joker gets three shots off, one of which clips Castle in the leg. They're both wounded, but Joker will eventually die of major blood loss, while Frankie Boy will gimp away.

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Punisher slits Joker's throat, but as he staggers back, Joker fires two shots right into Castle's shoulder and chest. Joker dies almost instantly from blood loss, but Castle can barely breathe to get away. He trudges towards the roof exit, when Batman swoops down. Castle is much too injured to put up any kind of real fight since one of his arms has been rendered useless. Not to mention he may also have a collapsed lung. Batman handcuffs him and takes him to the hospital, after which he will be transferred to Arkham.

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Yarrik: What I'm about to say is not meant to offend, nor is it specifically directed at you. So please don't take it the wrong way. You're simply the first to do it, so I need to point your post out.

Having said that, this is exactly the kind of post I don't want to see any more. The initial set-up specifically asks "How does this end...?", so simply writing "Punisher" or "Joker" doesn't satisfy the question. Look at the posts written by Logan and James. They did as asked and finished the scenario. That's what I want everyone to do. That's the fun of this. I write one ending, you another, and we wind up discussing our different takes on the situation.

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Sorry Yoda. Let's try this again...

Punisher slashes up Joker throat, but not without taking a shot himself. Joker dies from bloodloss, while Punisher limps away, only in time for Batman to show up, who simply brood on about not wanting any deaths.

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I choose teh Joker, because he's a freaking genius. The only reason he's failed to kill Batman is because Bats is a smart as he is. Frank Castle, meanwhile, just doesn't match up, and would be quickly shot in the face.

You think The Joker is as smart as Batman? I say the only reason (well, two reasons) Batman hasn't permanently bagged him is because 01. Batman won't kill the psycho and 02. The Joker is too unpredictable.

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Joker is a genius, he's just a super super psycho. I don't think any Steven Stupid could invent any of the Joker's wonderous toys, unless he has some supplier I don't know about.

Anyway, I chose Punisher without really thinking about it. However, if Frank was waiting for a drug deal to go down, chances would be he would already have rigged the warehouse to work in his favour.

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