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The Master

The minor annoyances thread

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You could probably misspell Chembakolli a few different ways.

Chembakolli, Shembakolli, Chemblekolli, Chambekolli, Thembakolli, Chembakokey, Chembakoala, Chocobolli, Schlembakolli, Chumbukullu, Champleconi, Franklefrofi, Broccoli, Frappakolli, Hokey-Cokey, Ballamori, Joseph Koni, Chanklebroni...

Is it racist yet?

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Dear Coworker:

Places that are appropriate to ask me about whether or not an email was sent by my boss yesterday:

-The hallway

-Your office area

-My office area

-The break room

Places that aren't appropriate to ask this:

-WHILE WE ARE BOTH IN THE BATHROOM AND I AM ON THE TOILET IN THE STALL NEXT TO YOU WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

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Some background: The Red Sox are pretty terrible this year. Jon Lester, their ace, was in the last year of his deal, and the Sox have been trying to lowball him. They couldn't come to an agreement, so he was traded to Oakland yesterday. The front page of the Globe has the story this morning as I'm in line at the Dunk's for coffee.

CRAZY GUY IN FRONT OF ME: (indicating paper) Do they know what they're doing?

ME: Well, They were clearly trying to give him less than he thought he was worth. They do that all the time. And this season is unsalvageable, so there's no point to keeping him around. So rather than wait until the season's over and get nothing, at least this way they get a little something that might be useful as they rebuild.

CGIFOM: That's not what I asked. Do they know what they're doing?

ME: (clearly still not getting it) I don't agree with what they're doing, but I see the logic behind it -

CGIFOM: Do. They know. What they're doing.

ME: ... um...

CGIFOM: You live in Brookline, right?

(note: Brookline is a very high-end community. It is not where we are standing, it is not near where we are standing, and it is not where I live.)

ME: ... um... yes?

CGIFOM: Henry (Sox owner) lives there.

ME: I... believe he does, yes.

CGFOM: So do you think he knows what he's doing?

ME: ... no?

Anyone who truly believes that there is any appreciable difference between a sports fanatic who wants to be sure he knows where the team owner lives for whatever reasons he has, and a comics fanatic who sends death threats to writers over Twitter because they don't like what he did with Hawkman last month, is very much mistaken.

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Dear Coworker:

Places that are appropriate to ask me about whether or not an email was sent by my boss yesterday:

-The hallway

-Your office area

-My office area

-The break room

Places that aren't appropriate to ask this:

-WHILE WE ARE BOTH IN THE BATHROOM AND I AM ON THE TOILET IN THE STALL NEXT TO YOU WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

i seriously can't stand people that want to have a conversation in the bathroom. The bathroom is an acknowledgment room only. A hi or nod is all I will accept. I've even got a coworker that was on the phone in the stall when I walked in.

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I used to work with a guy who ran his mouth constantly at the best of times, but did not get that no one wanted to engage with him in the bathroom. More than once I had to tell him "This can wait until I don't have my dick in my hand, dude."

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Working at the brand new Land Rover/Jaguar facility in Birmingham sounds great on paper, but after the 90 minute ordeal of getting onto (and off of) the site every day plus what my pedometer clocked at 6 miles of walking per day whilst carrying heavy equipment (and wearing new boots), plus security that appears to on secondment from Newark in 2002, plus daily battles with management, multiple inductions and then all the other usual site issues being magnified by all this I can safely say this was the worst week of my professional life. What should have been a 5 hour job took 4 and a half days.

My feet are blistered to hell, I've engaged in more pointless distance-covering than a pygmy Olympics speed walking team and I've dealt so much red tape I'm convinced at least 20ft of it is living in my bowels and leeching off me directly.

Oh and I've got news for you, there's no point acting so secretive about the new Jaguar, I was at the MIRA test facility for Land Rover/Jaguar last month, I've seen it.

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I'm starting to resent the way that the ice bucket challenge has become a stick to hit people with rather than a charitable awareness effort. If Bill Clinton doesn't respond to George Bush but his charitable associations still outnumber his 58-9 is he somehow a bad person now just because he's not responding to this PR version of Gangnam style?

I admire the invention, the awareness and fundraising aspects of course. I just don't think non-participation should be a black mark.

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I'm starting to resent the way that the ice bucket challenge has become a stick to hit people with rather than a charitable awareness effort. If Bill Clinton doesn't respond to George Bush but his charitable associations still outnumber his 58-9 is he somehow a bad person now just because he's not responding to this PR version of Gangnam style?

I admire the invention, the awareness and fundraising aspects of course. I just don't think non-participation should be a black mark.

I am amazed that the power of goofy Facebook memes has been harnessed to do so much good, but there is a certain amount of this that feels like (and, quite frankly, is) publicly shaming people into making donations. It's been a fun thing, and ALSA has gotten so much good out of it that it's impossible to really complain, but that's an aspect to this whole thing I've been uncomfortable with.

(Also, that isn't me weaseling out of doing mine or complaining about it. It's late, but I'll have time to do it tomorrow. I knew full well it'd get to me eventually, I could have begged off but legitimately don't mind, and it's a good and important cause.)

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That was sorta how I felt when Henry Cavill did his in full Superman costume, giving us the best look yet at the updated suit for BvS.

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In the mid 1980s, TSR (the company that created D&D) held the license to make games from Marvel Comics. In addition to a VERY fun series of RPGs, they were branching out into what they called Adventure Gamebooks, which were essentially Choose Your Own Adventure-type things, except that in addition to having to make choices, the reader was also sometimes presented with the opportunity to roll a die to affect an outcome, and the success or failure of that roll would determine which page you would jump to next. Neat idea, didn't take. Anyway, they came out with eight of these books under the Marvel Super Heroes banner, and I have been collecting them, and today I got the last one I was missing (the sixth in the series, with the X-Men). I got it online, obviously.

When I opened it, I saw that while the interior was identical to the rest of the series, what I had gotten my hands on was the UK edition, which has not only a vastly different cover dress from the other seven, and is somewhat larger physically than the rest, but it's numbered differently, meaning I have two books labeled "#7".

It doesn't even KIND OF match.

10368250_10152289388016744_2211184231588

I am far more bothered by this than I reasonably should be. I have OCD, and I can generally keep it to a reasonable level, but this has me at the point that I'm actually considering throwing it away and tracking down another one. (Which isn't actually that big a deal. This is the rarest one and the most difficult to find, which means that it would set me back about $9 rather than the $5 the others all cost. These aren't in any real demand.)

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On today's exciting installment of the Further Adventures of the Annoying Chick Who Sits Behind Dan:

Annoying Chick is utterly stymied by her daughter's math homework!

Also, Annoying Chick's daughter is six.

Tune in next time for the two hour screaming telephone fight with Annoying Chick's husband about which sweater their daughter should wear to school tomorrow!

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On the 21st I bought a car part off of Amazon. I have never done this before as car part, I'd rather go to the store and be done with it. This was not available anywhere and my alternative was to spend $250 more for the entire kit. So here I sit on the 31st and not only have I not received my part, I cannot get any sort of response from the seller. I have yet to be charged for anything, which is the only good thing about this. I've tried to cancel the order, but I get no response whatsoever.

And to add on top of this, my dad (who is helping me fix my car) is getting pissed at me for ordering online, when it was his idea in the first place. He found the damn link and told me to order it. Car has been dead for two weeks now, which is by far the longest it has been broken down for. I get that, but he has a huge garage and it isn't in the way.

Just frustrating to no end.

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Work will go to any lengths to not update its systems. We have an operating system at work which has been virtually unchanged since the mid 1970s.

However, God forbid anything prevent me from having to spend an hour installing the latest version of fucking McAfee before I can actually do anything today.

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In a similar vein:

-God forbid my boss actually show up and do shit that needs doing before the holidays

-I would really like to be able to sleep in my own bed for more than one day this week

-Seriously someone please go create a LMD of me and send it in my place to everything this week I really don't fucking want to do any of it

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Every once in awhile I'll check in and see what Channel Awesome is still doing, and tonight I see that Linkara is about to get 40k in crowdfunding for an Atop the Fourth Wall movie. Now hey, credit to him for being able to crowdfund that much six years after he started doing it. But internet guys like him and James Rolfe that can do these kind of campaigns, it just frustrates me that they put it toward a feature length wankfest instead of using it to actually create something.

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