The "I need to vent" thread


Missy

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This car payment is killing me. I have never had problems paying bills, and now I can't keep up. I've got disconnect notices because I can't pay some things. I went on a little tirade yesterday punching things and yelling, which made me feel better. I then went and changed my cell phone plan, my satelite package, and soon to change insurance companies saving all together about 90 bucks a month. if this doesn't work, then I'll give up and move. The biggest problem is next month I have what they call a seasonal payment, which is as big as my whole paycheck. Once I get past that I should be fine, but this month is going to suck ass.

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What the fuck happened to being polite? Just a week ago I was talking on the phone with some one, having a meaningful conversation. She tells me to wait one second, five minutes later she comes back onto the phone and says "hey can i call you back?". Being polite i say sure and go do something else. When she calls back we resume our conversation, a few minutes later she stops the conversation dead and asks me to wait one second. When she returns about two minutes later says "this will only be a minute". I tell her "no it's fine go talk i need to eat", we hang up and i enjoy the twenty minutes i spent on the computer after that. She txts me later and tells me "I'm sorry about that a friend called and I talked to him for a while, I'm sorry for being rude". We then went on our merry ways and continued talking. Today i was talking to the same girl through skype chat and we had our webcams on. I tell her something that I've wanted to tell her a long time, It is at this point I notice She's been on the phone for about five minutes and hasn't even been paying attention to the chat. I say this fairly often, and I mean it every time I fucking hate people.

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I believe that cell phones have made people forget how to use their social skills. I was working with a lady last year and we were talking and in the middle of our converstation she started talking when I was in the middle of a sentance. She was wearing a blutooth headset and had called someone. She did it all the time, and if you ignore her when she talks to you she'd get mad. Once I told her if she wasn't always on the phone we would know who she was talking to. Then there is my boss who will drop whatever he is doing to answer his cell phone, even if he's talking to people on the work phone at the time.

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May end up murdering Lawrence. They somehow screwed up my transcript request (AGAIN) and now Illinois State University doesn't appear to have my transcripts, as they sent them to the program adviser, somehow. So, now we have to hope that the program director has the transcript and can send it onto the admissions office. If not? I have to fill out a new request and pay AGAIN. How hard is it to send out a damn transcript?!

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I know that graduating law school is a big deal. I get that. I really do. I understand your want for a party. Go nuts, you've earned it.

However, planning your party for the exact date of a trip planned well in advance is not cool. The trip to NYC has been set since last October. Your party has been set since, last Tuesday. And your party is also a week after your graduation. Why? As a result of your selfish actions, your husband has no choice but to not go on the trip.

I know that you said that the rest of could still go. Yet, I know that you know that we have an rule against such a thing. You see, this trip was to see the Reds play both the Mets and Yankees in NYC in our continuing effort to go to every baseball stadium. Before we started, we agreed that we would only go to a new stadium if the entire crew (3 people can be a crew, right?) is present.

And yet, you fail to compromise. You will not move your party to Sunday, or delay it a week. I would compromise, but I doubt calling MLB and asking for a schedule change would result in anything. The Reds playing the Yankees in NYC doesn't happen every year. If this was a game against the Cubs in Chicago, I really wouldn't care that much. Later in the season, or next year, wouldn't make a difference to me.

Yeah, I'm pissed.

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I've worked in a college for 13 years, and I have never heard of the transcript process running smoothly. It seems everyone has a "they didn't send them, now I'm fucked" story.

Crisis averted. Program director has the transcripts, she's sending them to the office of admissions. We're all good.

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I'm done, I'm done being a doormat, I'm done being treated like shit. Yes i was an asshole, but i revert to being an asshole when people sit there and push me. It's called being pushed over the edge, It's called loosing fucking control. I'm done with the shit that people put me through. I'm taking the people who drive me insane out of my life.

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I honestly don't think I've ever been this angry before. I feel nothing but rage and want to stab this bitch in the face.

Long story short, I've been friends with my buddy for 12 years, and because of such, I put up with his sister even though I hate her. She personifies every reason why I hate women in the Marine Corps, she has never done anything but thinks she deserves everything. Now her and I have gotten into it before, and because of such I do my best to avoid her. Some of our aurguments in the past have been about me finding it disrepsectful that she goes around calling herself a combat veteran even though she has never seen combat, and the fact that she tries to further her modeling aspirations by using the Marine Corps. However she has finally cost me lose it.

IN her time in she did one "deployment", I use the qoutations because it was to Bagram Air Base. Let me explain, Bagram is about as far away from Afghanistan as you can be while still in the borders, haha. She lived in an air conditioned room, ate real food that was freshly prepared at a chow hall, and enjoyed using the internet everyday. However, appearantly that was too much for her, as she claims to have ptsd and even used that claim to get out of he Marine Corps early.

Now that I have explained that, let me get to the part that made me rage yesterday. She is currently collecting 30% disability benefits form the VA every month, and had the audacity to say she deserves more! Fuck you bitch and your fake ass ptsd! I have buddies that were shot and have shrapnel and are fighting with the VA to get their claims, and you have the gall to complain about your 30% you are starting to get this month! Fuck you, you fake ass Marine. You don't deserve a penny, and you want more! She is doing nothing but taking money that could be going to people who deserve it! FUCK! You don't know shit about anything, you've never pulled a trigger a day in your life, you've never killed or seen a friend killed, you spent all day joking around overseas playing board games and sitting on Facebook, but yeah, it was tough, wasn't it?

There are just no words to describe my anger, and I just needed a place to vent. Unfortunately she isn't the first to scam money form the VA and she won't be the last.

I swear if you even shows your face next time I visit home, I will cut a dickhole in your chest and fuck your heart!

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Everyday, I try and help you. And everyday, you just go back to the position you came from "I want to kill myself" and I'm just able to deal with it a little less, I have my own problems, but this doesn't seem to click for you. Or the fact that you have stressed me out to the point where I'm starting to feel like there is no point carrying on myself. But that's OK, you love being the centre of attention, and you'll cause me to lose sight of what's important to me for it. Cause, let's face it, there's no way my worrying about you possibly killing yourself is causing my stress levels to be uncontrollably high nowadays, at a time, when I really need to be focusing on my own life, but I wake up everyday to hear about you complaining about how you can't take this anymore, but somehow, a few hours later, everything is fine, only to restart from scratch every fucking morning.

It has drained my spirit so much that I barely even care to get up in the mornings now, as I just know you're going to start this all over again.

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Honestly, this is the point where you tell them you're going on a car ride. Tell them it's a suprise. Then, you tell them that they're taking a little vacation and commit them. I'm sorry but it's stressing you out and it's obvious that they need help from a trained professional. They need to be on anti-depressents. You should feel no guilt for this because they're irresponsible and can't be bothered to get help for themselves outside of stressing what sounds like a good friend.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Austen, it's alright. Take a breath and call one of your friends. Despite what you're saying, friends are there to comfort you. I'm sure they're interested in what's troubling you.

You're right. My problem is, I don't like asking people for things. I don't know why, but it's just something I've never been able to do, I've always had the mentality that i can take care of everything by myself, it never works out, it's just how I think and feel about things. Which can cause a serious problem at times like these.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, there has been what I have been calling a "corporate restructuring" at work. I really hate these types of things, as Corporate tends to forget some things are not possible. With any philosophy change; some things work, some things don't. They want A-Z done, but only give us enough payroll to do A-M.

For me, this has meant not much as I moved to a position that hasn't changed much. But morale is low and that is starting to get on my nerves. I can only take so much bitching from co-workers.

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  • 2 weeks later...

To me, being a man means you hold all your problems in, and deal with them yourself, until you are near breaking point, then you quietly complain and hope no one notices.

Jesus Christ, I wish some people in my life would realise that I haven't been able to go to class for weeks, am afraid to contact my lecturers and just generally feel exhausted every god damn day.

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To me, being a man means you hold all your problems in, and deal with them yourself, until you are near breaking point, then you quietly complain and hope no one notices.

Austen, being a man is about having a sense of responsibility and loyalty to the people you care about, not some perceived mental fortitude.

What you've just described is being a pushover.

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To me, being a man means you hold all your problems in, and deal with them yourself, until you are near breaking point, then you quietly complain and hope no one notices.

Austen, being a man is about having a sense of responsibility and loyalty to the people you care about, not some perceived mental fortitude.

What you've just described is being a pushover.

You know, I probably am a pushover, I really try and avoid confrontation whenever possible, I've just never been able to deal with confronting people about things. All through my life, the way I've always been is someone who avoids confrontation at all costs, and just tries and keeps the status quo. I probably get it from being the youngest of my brothers, they did everything, and were such distinct characters, that maybe I just always felt better blending into the background, they, in my eyes, always did everything that had any value, and anything I did never had any proper ramifications or value. No matter what I would do, my own personal perception of myself was always negative, and the only thing I ever found value in, was being able to deal with my life, by myself.

I'm not trying to blame them, or anyone for me being the way I am. I've just always felt that the best way for me to have deal with my problems, was handling them myself, as I always perceive my family, and everyone to look down upon me as a failure. Any successes I have, is just luck and by chance, any failures, it's all my own fault.

Sorry about this rambling post, I really didn't know what to write here, and I just couldn't think of anyway to justify, or explain how my fucked up mind works.

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