The "I need to vent" thread


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Dubs, I will send you my copy of wanted and I will make sure Mark Millar invites you out for a beer to talk about writing if you don't go after this girl.

I feel quite tired and can't sleep and I can't stay awake which is an odd combination, I also can't seem to do anything as I feel so tired, yet i can't do anything.

I guess the years of eating and sleeping at random times have finally caught up with me. Instead of having any consistency I eat when im hungry and sleep when i'm tired and it is starting to catch up with me.

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I really want to move out of my mums house.

In general, I really don't want to be here anymore,

Also for some reason, I am tired all the time recently and can't be bothered to do anything. It's not that I don't want to do anything, I just don't feel any passion for anything and don't even want to do simple things.

I mean, I want to write something, play a game or read something. But I can't even muster enough strength to do that, it is really odd.

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My university, it is the fail and made of fucking frustration.

Basically, new schedule for fall term messes with our ability to earn money and internships over the summer, and then they're increasing tuition.

*screams in a corner*

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My better half is a saint:

Oh la la Lucy (3:15:01 PM): Hey honey bunny, what's up?

PrestonNelson275 (3:15:47 PM): Hi~!

PrestonNelson275 (3:16:12 PM): Notta, just emailed you, actually.

Oh la la Lucy (3:16:16 PM): How's your day going?

PrestonNelson275 (3:16:25 PM): Pretty slick.

Oh la la Lucy (3:17:32 PM): You used your saw to bring new(to you) furniture into your room?

PrestonNelson275 (3:17:47 PM): ...The legs were too tall.

Oh la la Lucy (3:17:53 PM): You are so quick to saw things.

PrestonNelson275 (3:18:08 PM): It will be fine. :P

Oh la la Lucy (3:18:18 PM): Good.

PrestonNelson275 (3:18:27 PM): Little duct tape and wood glue fixes everything.

Oh la la Lucy (3:18:38 PM): You're ridiculous.

PrestonNelson275 (3:19:04 PM): The women may not find me handsome, but at least they'll find me handy.

Oh la la Lucy (3:19:36 PM): I'm rolling my eyes at you.

PrestonNelson275 (3:19:56 PM): Red Green is always applicable, darnit.

Oh la la Lucy (3:27:28 PM): I am still appalled that you sawed your new chair.

PrestonNelson275 (3:27:44 PM): It'll be fine.

PrestonNelson275 (3:27:56 PM): At least I didn't turn it into a hovercraft.

PrestonNelson275 (3:28:05 PM): Trust me, I considered it. :P

Oh la la Lucy (3:28:38 PM): ...Oh me.

PrestonNelson275 (3:28:47 PM): ...I am such a Philistine, aren't I?

Oh la la Lucy (3:29:03 PM): Only when you saw furniture.

PrestonNelson275 (3:29:28 PM): At least it's not attached to my arm. I mean, then I'd just saw stuff randomly.

Oh la la Lucy (3:29:53 PM): *sigh*

PrestonNelson275 (3:30:54 PM): ...I would.

Oh la la Lucy (3:31:02 PM): I know you would.

Oh la la Lucy (3:31:13 PM): It is a godsend that you don't have it attached to your arm.

PrestonNelson275 (3:31:31 PM): And that it's not a chainsaw.

Oh la la Lucy (3:32:11 PM): I'm very pleased by that.

PrestonNelson275 (3:32:29 PM): When the zombies come, I'm totally doing it, though.

Oh la la Lucy (3:33:36 PM): *sigh*

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I fucking am getting sick and fucking tired of living in this fucking house.

It seems my fucking privacy seems to be a fucking joke.

I am sick to fucking death of this shitty house, this shitty life and all this fucking shit I have to deal with.

If I had a gun I would love to blow my fucking head off right at this very fucking minute as this house that I live in is possibly the most stressful fucking enviroment in the world.

Fuck!

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Dubs, you cannot have been more awkward than me last night.

I attempted swing dancing at Heaven and Hell. The guy tried to dip me.

Unfortunately, the height differences (I was taller) and gravity ended with me sprawled on the floor.

So you probably did better than I did. :P

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See? You didn't do half bad.

Let's just say I utterly fail at dancing as evidenced by last night and leave it at that.

Also, wish I was of the age to legally drink. Or that I had money and a vehicle to do things. Because at the moment, all of my friends are either in bars or in games for their RPing campaigns.

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I was robbed downtown tonight, some guy jacked up on pills confronts me at the bus stop and demands all my shit. I say no, he punches me, grabs my knockoff iPod and jumps on his bus.

His friend, who seemed to want to stay out of the whole thing ended up going on my bus, we both knew we had no beef with each other (well he didn't hold him back, but what am I going to do now) so we talked this shit out.

During the course of this, I did some detective work. I found out the guy who stole my crap's name was Jason...hmmm that seems familiar, and if there's a drug user who's name I think sounds familiar, I try to tie it back to my old buddy/co-worker from 7-11 Neil. Guess what, they know Neil.

So I talked to another former 7-11 co-worker and asked if he still had Neil's number. I want to talk to Neil and see if I can get this figured out, I know this is probably going way too far for a $25 knockoff mp3 player, but I'm pissed damnit.

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I have no money, I have no way to pay my bills, another job turned me down. My home life is becoming increasingly unberable and I think I'm going to throw up and then pass out as my head is spinning and I don't know what to do.

I think I need help, the only problem is, I don't know who I can go to for help, I have so many physical and mental problems right now, and with the panic attacks I am now getting frequently, I had one on friday and am just coming off of one right now, thank god a bus showed up when it did.

If that bus hadn't of shown up to take me home and saving me from an hour walk I don't know if I would've actually made it home.

I feel so bad right now, my stomach is killing me, I feel so exhausted and I think I may just pass out or throw up on my keyboard as I write this, I can't seem to do anything.

Sorry if this seems really self absorbed, but i am so fcking scared about everything I have to deal with right now.

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I don't know how things work over there. Does Scotland have something to the equivalent of an Unemployment Office? If anyone is going to keep your head above water and help you find a job, it's them.

As for the stress you're dealing with, we've all been there, man. Hell, I still am there to an extent myself. The best thing to keep in mind is that when you wake up tomorrow, you'll still be alive and you'll see that the world hasn't come to an end. I know things seem unbearable right now, but there is always a way to make it through, and sometimes just having the faith that you'll be able to do it can work wonders. I'm the most pessimistic person on the planet and I'M saying this, so you should be able to work it out as well.

As for having someone to talk to about your emotional state, there are a lot of people you can call or find online that are willing to listen if you're willing to look. I had to do the same thing when I went through my break up and it definitely helped. Failing that, or any family and friends that you may have, I'm on AIM a good six hours out of the day and I'm really not as much of a prick as I may come off here at times.

Just look at the things you do have right now. You have your mother, you have a roof over your head, and you have the means to feed yourself. Now, just work from there. You'll get through it.

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Kellen-Damn! Pill poppers in the 'Peg! Glad to hear you're doing well. Props for not hunting this guy down and killing him.

Suave-I echo what Dubs said. There was a time when because of what I was doing to myself that I couldn't look myself in the mirror without being disgusted at what, not who, I saw. It was tough but I found hope to cling onto and I'm at a pretty good place now.

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I'm ridiculously sick, yet I am at school today. I threw up in the shower this morning, but I still needed to come because I have 3 major assignments due today. My hope is I get all the stuff I need to have done for tomorrow finished and handed in today so I can take tomorrow off. Ugh.

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The weather report here in Knoxville says it's raining. Now, I've a lot of different types of rain. Heavy rain, light rain, sideways rain, sleet. But to my recollection, rain isn't white and fluffy and easily packed into a ball. More proof that Lewis Black was right and Meteorologist means liar.

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