Every film you've watched in 2014


Koete

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No bullshit, I had to look up Tomorrow Never Dies because I couldn't remember which one was this and which one was The World Is Not Enough. Its stunning lack of Christmas Jones, nuclear science person deducts it many points. However, a forgettable Bond film ranks above The Terrible Shouting Family Variety Hour, Now With Bad Greenscreen.

I haven't seen the other two.

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CONEHEADS: If you would have asked me a week ago what ten comedies from the 90s DON'T hold up, I would have put Coneheads on the list if I was capable of even thinking of it. This film, however, surprisingly remains pretty fucking funny. It's a vehicle for Akroyd and Curtin, yes, but it also has Spade, Hartman, and Farley in their prime. That can't be beat.

Feature Films: 84

Documentaries: 15
Shorts: 16
Rewatches:1
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CONEHEADS: If you would have asked me a week ago what ten comedies from the 90s DON'T hold up, I would have put Coneheads on the list if I was capable of even thinking of it. This film, however, surprisingly remains pretty fucking funny. It's a vehicle for Akroyd and Curtin, yes, but it also has Spade, Hartman, and Farley in their prime. That can't be beat.

Feature Films: 84

Documentaries: 15
Shorts: 16
Rewatches:1

Weird autobiographical note: When Beldar is getting his fake ID papers, Adam Sandler tells him that his new identiy was born in Brockton, Massachusetts. I was watching this movie in a theater in Brockton, and the audience fucking erupted.

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The Eighteenth Angel: one of our finds while thrifting Tuesday. Stanley Tucci is in it. Something something pretty people genetic engineering Satan countdown. I don't even really remember what it was about. Just... Bland. So bland,

Twilight: More on this soon.

Catching Fire: I haven't seen this since I saw it in the theater last year, still holds up incredibly well. Also a fun movie to get drunk to to burn Twilight out of your head, it turns out.

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The Spirit (1987): No, not the Frank Miller-directed cinematic travesty. This was an unsold pilot that aired as a TV movie back in 1987, starring Sam Jones (Flash Gordon) and Nana Visitor (Kira from DS9). This. Was. AWESOME. It completely and utterly nails the tone of the Will Eisner strip; it doesn't take itself seriously at all and is frequently out and out comedic, but stays just on this side of camp. The sets don't even try to be realistic, so there's a distinctly artificial feel to the movie that just makes it more fun. Jones was never going to have a rack of Oscars on his mantle, but he throws himself into the role of the Spirit and is obviously having a terrific time as a guy who has nothing going for him except his ability to take punches.

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The Black Goat: More a trailer than a short film, really. This is done by the guy who did the fucking hilarious Casting Call of Cthulhu that I saw at the HP Lovecraft Film Festival so many years back. It's more a proof of concept as he's working on the feature version. Interesting nonetheless.

Feature Films: 85

Documentaries: 15
Shorts: 17
Rewatches:1
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There's two every year and has been for like a decade. Well, there's been two for like four years. There's a mixture of classic and modern films being shown with a huge amount of shorts. 3 different short film blocks of 2 hours apiece.

My coverage of the one I attended here.

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A double feature on account of Amazon is good to me.

A Hard Day's Night (1964): The Criterion Blu-Ray came today. What's remarkable is that for such a joyous, energetic film, it captures how fucking miserable the Beatles' existence had to have been at this point. At no point does the world let up on them, and it's easy to forget that this story takes place in a single day. The band aren't actors, and they aren't asked to be, but their charisma and presence carries them through. The real star here is director Richard Lester, whose dynamic camera work and editing make this movie as exciting now as it was fifty years ago. And the most punk rock character here is easily Paul's grandfather, a force of pure chaos who straight up does not give a fuck. Criterion did a phenomenal job cleaning this up.

Yellow Submarine (1968): Boy, this sure is druggy and fucked up! There, that's out of the way. We put this in afterward on Wendee's request. The story is barely existent - the Blue Meanies invade Pepperland and for some reason the Beatles have to travel there to stop them - but that's not why anyone goes to see this. The actual animation is Saturday morning quality, very bare bones and jerky, but the artwork is gorgeous. Yes, it's weird for the sake of being weird, but it's a beautiful showcase for European animation of the late 1960s, and the Blu-Ray looks absolutely terrific.

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A partial catch-up from the past month and a half, mostly from a lazy spell between leaving one job and starting another:

Country Life: (see For Better or Worse suggestion thread)

A Room With A View: Complete and utter fluff that the collective talents of Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, Simon Callow, Denholm Elliott, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Helena Bonham Carter can't salvage. Written by someone either aping or parodying Jane Austin and Oscar Wilde.

Tarzan (1999): Underwhelming but inoffensive. I don't have the hate-on for Phil Collins that everyone else seems to, but this had at least two songs too many sung by him and even the one he didn't sing sucked. The jungle looked pretty good, but a lot of the character designs seemed really odd.

Three Men and A Baby: Very eighties and often painfully so. Generally incredulous and upset than amused by the protagonists' ineptitude at basic childcare. However, this was probably the first thing I've ever seen with Tom Selleck in it and he was a definite bright spot.

Major League: Motivational sports films typically do nothing for me. They're formulaic, light on characterization, and lack the necessary stakes and tension. This film had none of the qualities and turned out to be pretty fun. Wish I had seen it a lot and kinda wish Roger Dorn had gotten further in the Douchies.

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Bettie Page Reveals All: Great subject, and interestingly created so that Bettie narrates from an interview before she died. But it is severely lacking in filmmaking skill. In the Kickstarter age, anybody can make a documentary regardless of whether they know how or not. This one slides by because it has thousands of pictures and videos of one of the hottest women who ever lived, but that's about it. She has a fascinating story, but unfortunately it couldn't be brought out with any power here.

Feature Films: 86

Documentaries: 16
Shorts: 17
Rewatches:1
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