Dread Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 I fucking HATE heartburn. Especially when there's no reason for me to be having it. This morning, I ate two biscuits with strawberry jelly and a big cup of sweet iced tea. WHAT THE FUCK IS CAUSING THIS GODDAMNED HEARTBURN??? I often wonder what my stomach looks likes, and at this point, I'm willing to bet it looks like the stomach of a chronic drunk with how often I have acid reflux-like symptoms. Just when I think we're two different people, something like this brings us closer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kscriv Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 You going to run? For office, I mean. Journalism assignment. Still better than what the original assignment was...attending and staying for the entire duration of the NDP Leadership Convention. Also, t this point I may have to run there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuaveStar Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 It was money, not weight Wait, so if we move to England, our weight will turn into money? o_o awesome. Maybe in England, in Scotland, you get given a pint of whiskey and told to drink like a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 I fucking HATE heartburn. Especially when there's no reason for me to be having it. This morning, I ate two biscuits with strawberry jelly and a big cup of sweet iced tea. WHAT THE FUCK IS CAUSING THIS GODDAMNED HEARTBURN??? I often wonder what my stomach looks likes, and at this point, I'm willing to bet it looks like the stomach of a chronic drunk with how often I have acid reflux-like symptoms. Just when I think we're two different people, something like this brings us closer. See, I think one of you has my stomach. I drink coffee and booze all the time, put Tabasco on like, everything, and eat little more than meat, carbs and cheese, with the occasional onion, pepper or potato. And zero heartburn. I mean, sucks for you guys, but... thanks for taking that bullet for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 This is snipped from a feature article written for a college newspaper called Daily Titan. Note, an editor wrote this: Wonder Woman croons Divinyls' "I Touch Myself," backed by comic book-loving rock band Kirby Krackle, as I walk into a darkened room in the Long Beach Convention Center. A man pulls off his shirt and whirls it over his head shouting along with the lyrics. The room is filled with comic book artists just sitting around drawing and enjoying the occasional cocktail. "Those are Aspen artists," I marveled to myself. "There's the guy who does 'Mouse Guard.' And, oh my God, is that Darick Robertson over there drawing Spider Israel?" I don't care if this is a college paper, you have to fact check! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venneh Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 ...That's Spider Jerusalem. *facedesk* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightWing Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 It was money, not weight Wait, so if we move to England, our weight will turn into money? o_o awesome. Maybe in England, in Scotland, you get given a pint of whiskey and told to drink like a man. That's still preferable to being an overweight guy who's geeky enough to know the seven forms of lightsaber combat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackFetch Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 I had a lady tell me to get a large present out of her car(notice she didn't ask) and bring it into the building for her. She neglected to tell me it was covered in glitter. I FUCKING HATE GLITTER!!!! Now I'm itching and sparkling. I want to kill someone. Or have someone kill me. At this point I don't care which. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 Glitter: The Herpes of Craft Supplies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 Glitter: The Herpes of Craft Supplies. Are girls swarming around you yet, eddy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc20willsave Posted October 11, 2009 Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 Glitter: The Herpes of Craft Supplies. And the bane of Mariah Carey's career. Don't forget about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 It's cold in my apartment, and I don't seem to have a thermostat to regulate the heat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dread Posted October 11, 2009 Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 As of tomorrow: no internet til Wednesday. Show's uploaded, Mike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 One e-mail later, and my apartment has heat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venneh Posted October 11, 2009 Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 Dear Fuckwits McGee Frat Remnants/Footballers on my Floor: Contrary to popular belief, there are people who are very much trying to sleep at 3 AM on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and don't want to listen to your loud, drunken yelling up and down the floor. Nor do they appreciate the garbage cans being spilled in front of their door and the fire extinguisher almost going off because you're so fucking drunk that you can't walk straight. Also, throwing up in the sinks and not washing them out, leaving them to fester until the janitors get here two days hence? Classy, guys. Real classy. Counting down the days till I can legally go out and drink myself immune to your idiocy, ~Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightWing Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Counting down the days till I can legally go out and drink myself immune to your idiocy, ~Me No! That path leads to that Dark Side! You'll become that which you hate! O_O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venneh Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 No, see, there's drinking to the point where I'll be immune, and then drinking myself till I'm at their level. These are two entirely different things and incredibly far apart from each other. I do have some control, y'know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George W. Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 I lost my comma key after cleaning my keyboard due to a rebel mustard attack. Restructuring my sentences to avoid commas is a pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc20willsave Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 Kinda sick to my stomach. This isn't a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuaveStar Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 Going back to college from lunch, a scruffy guy walking in front of me turns around and says "Change for the homeless" I told him no and cross the street, and then he says "Not even a pound!" I said no and walked away. I fucking hate beggars, and I really hate the pricks who come up to you and ask for money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James D. Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 As I was leaving work, I had to shut the automatic front doors manually (since we were closed), and I hit myself in the dick with a 12-pack of cream soda as I was closing them. Then I get home and I have to park on the side of my house on a weird incline. The car door won't stay open since it's at such a weird angle, and so it closes right on my shin. Needless to say, I am limping pretty badly right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 I think I speak for the entire male population when I say that getting hit in the dick is anything but "minor", to the point of taking priority over any other injury. "Dude, I got shot in the leg..." "Man up, ya wimp!" "... and then I got kicked in the sack." "... I'm so sorry, man. I didn't know." You have my sympathies, Mr. Deaux. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venneh Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 The people in my dorm are absofuckinglutely disgusting. I had to use the bathroom just now, and was wondering what the godawful smell was. Turns out one of my neighbors threw up all over the first stall and didn't even get it all into the toilet. What the fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slothian Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 The people in my dorm are absofuckinglutely disgusting. I had to use the bathroom just now, and was wondering what the godawful smell was. Turns out one of my neighbors threw up all over the first stall and didn't even get it all into the toilet. What the fuck. In my first year as an undergraduate, I lived on a mixed corridor with a fair amount of Chinese international students. Not to slur an ethnicity, but from what one girl told me of the bathroom on our floor is that it had both stalls and showers. But the showers were sometimes used as a squat toilet, which are common in China but not in the UK, making my female friends deeply unimpressed with the hygiene levels of using the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venneh Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 See, we're not to that point just yet. It's just the assholes at both ends of the hall getting drunk on an almost nightly basis at this point. Though, last week they threw up in the sinks. And it's still there from last night, which means either that the janitor hasn't come, or that they're refusing to take care of it (which I wouldn't blame them for at all). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.